Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
If you do not want to believe that you yourself came up with something wonderful,
you can be sure - you came up with something extremely remarkable.
Joke #47142 —  
 
0
 
Leave from galley slave is difficult to quit the habit cleek.
Joke #47141 —  
 
0
 
CEC reports: the numerous requests from citizens, the election results
March 2 will be announced on April 1
http://yun.complife.ru
Joke #47140 —  
 
0
 
Gulchitai, beaming with happiness, skipping runs on oil depots and yells:
- The President appointed me as a favorite bear!
Joke #47139 —  
 
0
 
Maria Sharapova:
- No one will see white spots on my clothes!
Monica Lewinsky:
- Does not reject!
Joke #47138 —  
 
0
 
One day she asked him:
- If I suddenly go away from you, you'll cry?
He thought a moment and replied:
- Yes ... I will, from time to time ...
Her eyes softened and she had tenderness in her voice asked:
- And why, dear?
- Yes, because then no one else will be cutting onions! - Sadly
He said ...
Joke #47137 —  
 
0
 
AvtoVAZ motto: You can not displace a competitor, begin to collect his
cars.
Joke #47136 —  
 
0
 
School deminers. Instructor:
- You spend a remote mine clearance. Your team does not
specialist. In neutralizes the device a set of wires and only
snacking is not only lead to an explosion and heavy
consequences.
Your actions?
Cadet:
- This scheme is difficult only at first glance. It can be cleared --
cutting the red wire. Therefore I will give the command: cut
red
wire.
- Color wire you are not wrong, but the answer is incorrect. First you
ask, not whether he is colorblind.
Joke #47135 —  
 
0
 
Not zudite and be not judged!
(c) ATP
Joke #47134 —  
 
0
 
My husband got his wife, she with a sigh:
- As always, five minutes?
Husband begins to puff in silence. Five minutes later the wife:
- Where a gift to the eighth of March?
Male, glancing at his watch, and continuing to puff:
- Here is begun.
Joke #47133 —  
 
0
 
Family quarrel:
- You! you first start!
- No it's you first finish
Joke #47132 —  
 
0
 
A young man wakes up with a hangover:
- Where am I? Who am I? What's wrong with me?
- You Vasya. You're on your wedding.
- And who has the bride?
- Chi, Galina ... Chi Palina? ...
- CHIPOLINO ?!!!!!
Joke #47131 —  
 
0
 
There is no ass, through which we say something is not done.
Joke #47130 —  
 
0
 
Gazprom "has been renamed the 1 st Ukrainian Front.
Joke #46946 —  
 
0
 
- Why Putin appointed a press conference on February 14?
- Will be recognized in the boundless love of country and people and require
reciprocity!
Parsley.
Joke #46945 —  
 
0
 
From compromise to the dirt - one step ...
Joke #46944 —  
 
0
 
- Well, Meet, my friends ...
- Paul ...
- Andrew ...
- Very disgusting!
- Both ...
Joke #46943 —  
 
0
 
Russia - a parasite on the body of Moscow ...
Joke #46942 —  
 
0
 
- Mr Yanukovich, you would like Ukraine to become a member of NATO?
- I have that - red, or what? ..
Joke #46941 —  
 
0
 
- All, soon I'll be rich.
- How is it?
- You see, the poster is "landfill is prohibited, and beside it a heap
garbage?
- Well ...
- Tomorrow I'll put the poster here "dump money is forbidden."
Joke #46940 —  
 
0
 
Blonde at the reception at the therapist.
- Doctor, I can not understand - do I love my husband.
- Why do you doubt it?
- Because during sex, I do not always think about him.
- And about whom?
- The fact engaged in sex with someone ...
Joke #46939 —  
 
0
 
Famous singer K. wrote a book about the years that he lived in a marriage with no
less well-known singer SP Future bestseller called "The handsome and
monster.
Joke #46938 —  
 
0
 
Political scientists around the world continue to argue that, from some of the American
parties - Republican or Democratic - tried to run
the President Mikhail Kasyanov.
Joke #46937 —  
 
0
 
Two rings on the car - clearly, the two have created a family.
And if the car four rings? Goes "Swedish" family?
Joke #46936 —  
 
0
 
Anecdote from the 50s.
***
Armenian Radio asked:
- One hundred such - sherst, sherst and posredine - lekarstvo?
Armenian Radio thought, replied:
- Wai dod! Why do you ask? It's a dog around the pharmacy a bag, yes!
Joke #46935 —  
 
0
 
Cigarettes Super. Can be worn on a string like a balloon.
Joke #46934 —  
 
0
 
I started going to the shaping and for the month dropped 20 tysch rubles!
Joke #46933 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- Why is a woman, even if ready to say "yes", it is still first
say "no"?
- Probably, because if she'll say "yes", then talk
then, in fact, already about.
Joke #46932 —  
 
0
 
- What do the blonde to look smarter?
- Undress!
Joke #46931 —  
 
0
 
Blonde - friend:
- I want a love that in a fairy tale!
- With Prince?
- No, with good end!
Joke #46930 —  
 
0
 
One head is good, but a few heads - a herd ..
Bachelor
Joke #46929 —  
 
0
 
Two in the bed.
- So you're not a girl?
- Are not you glad that I'm a boy?
Joke #46928 —  
 
0
 
Remember, before the men talked about "The Power is - do not mind? After
Browse thousands of profiles of girls on dating sites, I can no longer
conclude: "Boobs are - do not mind."
Joke #46927 —  
 
0
 
Girl with a big hangover complains friend:
- Head after yesterday's feel the same way as a priest after
long anal sex: remember the good and the use of
purpose - it hurts!
Sophiushka.
Joke #46926 —  
 
0
 
Self-sufficiency is when no one can get you. Only himself.
Joke #46925 —  
 
0
 
Any change in the weather for our public services - natural
disaster. And so 365 days a year.
Joke #46924 —  
 
0
 
People - incorrigible sinners. Even if in the commandments would be written
- "Kill, commit adultery, steal - even in this case they would
managed to sin ...
Joke #46923 —  
 
0
 
At the world championship on sumo gathered more than 80 tons of athletes!
Joke #46922 —  
 
0
 
Two friends talking.
- Imagine, met recently with a stunning calf. Not a woman
a real sex bomb!
- And what gave?
- Yes, once or twice only. She said that twice in one place does not fall!
Joke #46921 —  
 
0
 
The most important plug in our country is in the Kremlin.
Joke #46920 —  
 
0
 
When she stops, she thinks she thinks.
Joke #46919 —  
 
0
 
Wearing a wedding ring on his finger, never guess what it is for
you will - the ring of the parachute or grenades.
Joke #46918 —  
 
0
 
I learned recently that if you work 51% of persons with disabilities - taxes are not
pay. Employees may be surprised ...
Joke #46917 —  
 
0
 
In the shop:
- I hear you!
- I would have stricter dress!
- That's wonderful! Very strict! For the slightest speck - the sleeve on
face!
Joke #46916 —  
 
0
 
Life - a vicious circle from which escape is only one
way, and that is not the best. (c) Sj
Joke #46915 —  
 
0
 
All the old - it's good wash off new! ;)
Parsley.
Joke #46914 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- X-th can stand and lie, and whether the xth sit?
- It sits the same :-)
Joke #46913 —  
 
0
 
The main thing - to give yourself a chance and then hope. Otherwise, and hopefully not
what.
Joke #46912 —  
 
0
 
Why does a woman, when she said that she is not like others, are pleased
a man, if he is told that he is not the same as those of others - not
very?
Joke #46911 —  
 
0
 
Russian lessons. Marivanova asks:
- Can you cite a case where two different pronouns denote
one and the same object?
Little Johnny:
- Easy. You think about his and the girl - about you!
Joke #46910 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311