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if a girl wants to be less fucked, it must do more
- Dear, I am so bored at home, let's play in role-playing games?
- Come on, you'll earn money, and I'll you for it to fuck?
Phrase that men want from women only one, most
mimic those women, from which the peasants, and this one, in general,
not very necessary.
You have a letter of happiness. It is good. Send not. Answer not.
Read no need, therefore, no text.
There comes an elderly woman in the bank and wants to open his account. Unravels
cloth, gets $ 100 and asked:
- Do you have a reliable bank?
Employee Bank enthusiastically replied:
- Of course! This is the most reliable bank in Georgia!
- And if he goes bankrupt?
- Then your money you can get at a local bank.
- What to do if he goes bankrupt?
- Then you will help the District Branch!
- But, and this may go bankrupt!
- Then you will get your money in the National Bank of Georgia!
- And if he goes bankrupt?
- Then all the Georgian government would resign! And it will be you
cost of some $ 100!
In Estonia, all the phone beeps are short.
At Moscow's drivers can not obtain traffic jams ....
Over the holidays all have forgotten who is behind whom stood in December.
A young guy stops road policemen. The guy is not fastened belt
D: I'm fine you for speeding
P: And the belt?
D: And get the belt home
Old Indian comes to the bank and requests a loan of $ 500. Banking
employee is to register the paper.
- What are you going to do with that money? - He asks the Indian.
- I'll go to town to sell jewelry that I made.
- What do you have for collateral?
- I do not know what "pledge", - says Injun.
- Well pledge is something that has value and can cover the cost of
loan. Do you have a car?
- Yes, truck 1949 release ...
- No, it's no good, - said a bank employee - it could be you
- Yes, I have a horse ...
- How old is she?
- I do not know, she had no teeth to determine ...
In the end, the Indians make out a loan and issue $ 500. After
few weeks back an Indian comes to the bank and pulled out a wad of money and
returns the loan.
- What are you going to do with the rest of the money? - Asks him that
- I will put in a wigwam, - says Injun.
- You can make a deposit into our bank.
- I do not know what "Deposit" - meets Indian
- Well, you give your money to the bank, the bank cares about them, but when you
need money, you can take them ...
Old Indian thought, and asked:
- And that the bank has a deposit?
Medvedev comes to the podium to hold their first presidential speech.
- Wait a second, latched on to your sleeve kind of thread,
oh, and the second, too ....
Suddenly a voice of Putin: "It is necessary threads, do not touch them."
Oh, and that New Year knchilsya? Ik, oh Sorry.
How delightful that our own towns democracy: we have your lupyat our
Everything is so complicated, all the way for Putin ...
God help the fools, drunk and the United States of America.
Otto von Bismarck
Stronger is not the one who has more power, but the one who best knows how to use
Once the old man threw his nets into the sea, came with seines odnoyu slime.
That's how the old man met with Tina Kandelaki.
Circle of sculpting.
- Sergei, you say that you have a girl and you have it all well.
But I'm beginning to doubt this. You have three months and all this time
lepite only naked women with legs wide apart.
On the international space station is dirty toilet. Two astronauts
hours eliminated the effects of, armed with nets.
Odessa. Market. Over the counter old granny. On the counter is something
gray, shapeless. Inscription: "H. W. 5 hryvnia.
- My grandmother, that for x. W.?
- Dear, are you stupid? Written same: "Halva for five!"
Maturity - is when you can not remember the name of his first. Age --
December 2008. On the screens of the country goes comedic
supermegablokbaster "Irony of Fate Strikes Back.
- Ah Ah Ah Else! Ah
- Honey, do a little louder.
- Dear, I'll do a little louder, if you do a little bigger.
The Russians have simplified the filing of documents in the British visa. Henceforth no
required to attend the embassy for the provision of biometric
data. Now you can send them to the embassy in a jar and match /
Did you know that if you fell in a public place stronger swear, you
from this will not become easier, but more good people you will be glad.
In the Paris airport parking liners wrinkled face with a hangover
Ukrainian pilots. The second pilot asked the captain of the crew: "Sasha,
estimate does not speak of, at yakom we prylytily yesterday?
- Mom, she does not listen to me at all, does not answer my questions and
says nothing at all! Mom, I'd rather not do that! What do I do --
can no longer talk to her and not call?
- Stop whining, Captain! Go ahead and continue the questioning!
Bad omen: suddenly came from a trip, call
best friend on the mobile phone and heard ringing out from under the bed.
- How to be in English "I love you"?
- I Love You!
- And in German?
- Their liberal dich.
- Well, on-Chelyabinsk?
- March in bed, bitch!
Little Johnny in class work under the desk leafing through an erotic magazine.
Angered by the teacher will select him with the words:
- I want tomorrow to see your mother!
- And then tomorrow, then wait? Look, look directly at the turn!
If Adam and Eve were the Baltic countries, they would require from God
compensation for time spent in paradise.
To look at the beach more attractive, the crocodile Gena hide
Cheburashka in smelting.
The girl asked her mother to buy her encyclopedia on the anatomy of internal
organs of rodents. But my mother said that 800 rubles is too expensive.
Then the girl asked to buy 30 rubles hamster.
- Why pump muscles goes only 0.01 per cent of men?
- Because the place that they would like to pump up, does not contain
If a man promises a woman a unique sex, then it should be
ready for what he would once.
- Come on chess in mind?
- Come on, e2-e4
- You just can not walk! Those clout on the head.
- Well, all chess knocked.
In the club:
- Man, you in this form can not.
- You Nifiga not understand! It's Texas style!
-?? ... !
- Well, just .. be .. Vologda his option.
No future without a present this past and present of the present.
The optimism we have shows when worse than ever, and pessimism, when it is better
I do not like waking up from the grave alarm clocks, from tender love budilnits!
Villages prostitutes in a taxi. Go long. The taxi driver begins ugovarit, Mol
make blowjob while going, but I said, only 10 bucks. Prostitute
nose turns the little mole. Then the taxi driver said: I will give your mobile phone.
Prostitute agreed, it did, let's mobile phone. Taxi Driver: Well
Come on, write it down, 8050 ...
Look at cinemas new feature film "Irony of Fate.
Now, more ironic.
After the New Year holidays, the work in the office was paralyzed. So no
and not remember the password to log into your computer.
If your child edinctvenny of the whole class is not afraid to be immunized,
then perhaps you should not rejoice in his courage, but seriously
Any new idea in human perception is almost inevitably
through three stages.
First: what do you suggest - bullshit!
Second: it's all so obvious!
And the third: we ourselves first said it!
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- It is believed that the most successful men do not enjoy
perfect beauty, and attractive women, facial features or
which have some kind of deviation from the ideal. How do you think, why
- Well, it's very simple: not every guy have enough insolence
fuck absolute ideal!
Late last night insisted his wife sends me to the store
- No sausages, eggs, only one remains.
I am absolutely too lazy to go somewhere:
- Instead of sausage sandwiches and cheese you can eat, he still
died. And eggs - I have two more.
- And what? they can eat?
- To eat - no, but you can lick.
- That's polizhesh their own for breakfast tomorrow!
Cat - a cat:
- What are your original sunglasses red!
- This is my boss bought it, so I took oatmeal for stuffing.
Arisen between the young tiny differences.
She agreed to the white dress, but still insisted on beige
He still wanted to marry her ...
- Can I drink on public holidays?
- Must! In our public holidays without a bottle can not tell.
After the visit of Yulia Tymoshenko experts from both countries for a long time could not come together
in opinion, how to write in the record: Ukraine, Ukraine or