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Ali Baba coming to the cave, said: "Sim-Sim, open up!"
And his response to mechanical voice: "Enter your PIN .."
Joke #47772 —  
 
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Humility - is what compels respect of others, read them
to listen and not interrupt when you are praised.
Joke #47771 —  
 
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Theorem requires no proof:
Needed not be enough, not enough happens a lot, but many
happens that will not find it.
Joke #47770 —  
 
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Question about the Armenian radio from America:
- What could guarantee Mr. Obama become president?
Answer:
- Change of sex.
RA
Joke #47769 —  
 
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Ukrainian Interior Minister believes that if he believes that he
telling the truth, he has the right to beat the man in the face.
Question: If an ordinary ment seems that he lies, he should just
shoot or a little before that to try?
Joke #47768 —  
 
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- And what sports do you usually do?
- Kamasutra, steeplechase and hide and seek.
- What about a duel?
- Duel - if you catch it or find it, - said Don Juan.
Joke #47767 —  
 
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Dear Santa Claus! I really, really want a puppy this year. Please,
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, can you give me
puppy?
Lesch.

Lech! Your whining and begging can work with your family,
but this shit will not work with me. You get a sweater again. Santa Claus.
Joke #47766 —  
 
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Car-Car Maybach. Neveb .. rolled down a steep Russian NGOs on
cdaet car wash and car repair on trifles. The day is coming
take. He was given a bill for work done. He looks and says:
- Well! Panel changed - it is handmade!
- Well! Mahogany polished! Also handmade!
- Well, bl .. d ', for tire inflation of x ... I am with my $ 50,000?
It turns out the master and said:
- As of x ... I? We do not pump the wheels, and mouth swop!
Joke #47765 —  
 
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Issue of the Armenian radio:
- What kind of sickness is the most unpleasant for the woman?
- Sexual - when nobody harasses!
Joke #47764 —  
 
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The doctor Aybolita had a brother - a pathologist Ayumer.
Joke #47763 —  
 
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Mama's little girl reading a scary story that does not produce at
girl is not the slightest impression.
- Are you not afraid of the evil man-eater? - Asks incredulously
mother.
- Why should I be afraid? I do not Lyuda, and Tanya name.
Joke #47762 —  
 
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Feast. One lady, whose husband owns a sports car:
- My husband travels at a speed of 300 kilometers per hour.
The wife of an astronaut, apparently wanting to enter into conversation with this lady,
drawn to the neighbor-man:
- A third space, this is how many kilometers per hour?
Joke #47761 —  
 
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- What should draw on the packaging of drugs, so people just guess
it is a laxative?
- Herring with milk.
Joke #47760 —  
 
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When I entered a husband, lover, claustrophobia, with frightened eyes, and
stood at the open closet.
Joke #47759 —  
 
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Sign.
If members of the Commission on the entrance exams neigh over your answers
- Is the army.
Joke #47758 —  
 
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- I lost the possibility of having children.
- Because of what?
- In the trap fell.
- But the trap could damage, maximum leg!?
- I tripped in front of him.
Joke #47757 —  
 
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- Militia. Police! Police! Help! Police ...
- So, I'm from the police. Who's calling? Who needs help?
- Oh, sorry. Just rayonchik your check - it does not suit us.
Joke #47756 —  
 
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After massive losses on the actions of the French bank trader
"Societe Generale" was renamed to "Societe genitalia.
Joke #47755 —  
 
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- Ensign, your task is to ensure that personnel know the whole
materiel, not just the first part of this word!
Joke #47754 —  
 
0
 
Life consists of nice little things that allow not get hung up on
big trouble.
Joke #47753 —  
 
0
 
Because of Road Traffic Accidents
Passing the road to a green light, an unidentified pedestrian not miss the car
Valuev. The victim got off easy knockout.
Joke #47752 —  
 
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Objective:

The poor artist had sold the house and canvases, and bought a million red roses on 3,5
dollars apiece.

Question: For how many went home starving artist, if you know that 6
canvases went on 200000 for a piece?
Joke #47751 —  
 
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Dentists recommend "Snickers".
Joke #47750 —  
 
0
 
Bill Clinton is preparing to become the first ledyu America.
Senator Obama - the second.
Joke #47749 —  
 
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Good to be an Egyptian pharaoh, bad to be an Egyptian mummy.
Joke #47748 —  
 
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- Holy Father, I want you to confess the sin.
- Yes, my son.
- Yesterday I was walking through the park, and on the far alley saw lying under a tree
a naked woman.
- This is not a sin, my son.
- I came closer to her and staring.
- This is not a sin, but temptation.
- Then she spread her legs and playfully looked at me.
- This is a strong temptation.
- And I stood rooted to the spot and stared at her until she left.
- Yes, my son ... sin, the sin was not to use this!
Joke #47747 —  
 
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Concept of "brothers on reason" does not apply to blondes at once by two
reasons ...
Joke #47746 —  
 
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Vovochka economist.
Seminar in Economic High School. The teacher, exasperated punditry
Vovochka, ironically said to him:
- That you, Vladimir, says that with the help of proverbs and sayings
can explain all the events surrounding world. And what does folk
wisdom about the financial crisis?
- It's elementary, my dear professor: 'Making a fool Bax pray,
he was aware of the whole GDP smash! "
Joke #47745 —  
 
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- Honey, look into my eyes, what do you see?
- Darkness there, and though eerily dark forest ...
- In the eyes see, but not in the nostrils.
Joke #47744 —  
 
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- Wow, - said the tycoon, clutching his head - already thirty-six
and nine!
- Maybe the doctor to call? - Asked his wife.
- What the doctor? You fool, this is not the temperature, is the euro!
Joke #47743 —  
 
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George in the bar saw a beautiful girl. To her.
Georg:
- Can you learn?
She:
- No.
Georg:
- Are you at least know who I am?
She:
- Well, who?
Georg:
- I'm a bass player Tokio Hotel!
She:
- Yes? And I did the soloist!
Joke #47742 —  
 
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- Hurray! - Shouted Matroskin. - My favorite Uncle Theodore arrived! We
twice as many herbs have prepared!
"... Talking cat - thought Uncle Fyodor. - In my opinion, I have grass
enough ... "
Joke #47741 —  
 
0
 
- You did hear the news? In Poland, the customs officers on strike! They require
increase in salary!
- Veyzmir, you want to say that they get paid?
Joke #47740 —  
 
0
 
Column health workers on May Day demonstration is the poster:
"Ukrainian palsy - the most progressive in the world!"
Joke #47739 —  
 
0
 
- Hello! Sergeant Petrenko. Your driver's license and
Documents on the car?
- Good night, boss. Here, look.
- So ... therefore the car is not yours?
- Well, yes, bratello not had time to reformulate.
- Where the power of attorney?
- Neto ...
- No power of attorney you have the right to manage the car only
in the presence of its owner.
- Because it is present.
- Where?
- In the trunk.
Joke #47738 —  
 
0
 
- What country is the largest? - Ukraine. Its boundary in the Carpathian Mountains, it
capital in Tel Aviv, the inhabitants of Siberia, its church in Canada.
Joke #47737 —  
 
0
 
- Listen, but if you paid $ 100 000 per year, what would you go?
- One hundred pieces of green in a year! Yes, I would at least in the city center Golyakov machine
wash, even with a banner "I am - gay!" arrange a demonstration. For
such a denzhischi.
- Ok. And how soon you agree to work?
- Duc pancake, Skoko get so many and will be good. Although
any.
- Over Bazaar answer?
- No questions.
- Good. In one month, working 172 hours a year, 12 months. Total Time
work is worth 48 bucks, and 5 minutes - 4 bucks. We meet tomorrow at 12
on
area. I hospital, at its nine. With me - 8 bucks and banner
with
you - 5 minutes of nude washing machines and 5 minutes of waving
poster.
Well, either accept sho p #% & eat!
- &$%@*!!!
- But then be able to talk so gravely: "There was a time when I'm
Salary in the 100 pieces of bucks per year worked! "
Joke #47736 —  
 
0
 
Ten Greatest Inventions-designed blondes

1. Waterproof towel.
2. Flashlight solar battery
3. Mosquito net for a submarine
4. The book "Tutorial Reading"
5. Inflatable dart board
6. Content Section for dictionaries
7. Ejection seat for helicopter
8. The water in the powder
9. Wheelchair pedal drive
10. Waterproof bags for brewing tea
Joke #47735 —  
 
0
 
Semyon Mogilevich, the Criminal Code adopted for the labor, and diligently complied
all items.
Joke #47734 —  
 
0
 
Communism in our minds and will remain good idea that
realized through the ass.
Joke #47733 —  
 
0
 
Hair man doing a difficult path - in their youth they walk into the eyes
and old age emerge from the nose.
Joke #47732 —  
 
0
 
In the Patent Office:
- I brought an application for environmental ladies vibrator.
- Describe me his device.
- Live bee in a bamboo tube.
Joke #47731 —  
 
0
 
In rural discos, a new kind of entertainment. Leading announces
white fight lupyat ladies and their cavaliers.
Joke #47730 —  
 
0
 
All people from time to time make nonsense. Difference - in the words:
stupidity of great people called follies, and the rich --
whims.
Joke #47729 —  
 
0
 
According to statistics, despite how good the economic,
political, etc. conditions in the country, approximately 20% of the population wants to
this country to leave
What is the percentage of souls who want to leave paradise?
Joke #47728 —  
 
0
 
Faster, stronger, higher.
Slower, softer, deeper.
Joke #47665 —  
 
0
 
Over the years, foreplay does not excite and lull.
Joke #47629 —  
 
0
 
Juicy "Good": kindness, identical to natural.
Joke #47625 —  
 
0
 
- Druzhok, I want to play for you on the skin flute?
- Sorry, dear. I have a double bass.
Joke #47525 —  
 
0
 
One fine spring Saturday morning, a man wakes up in his
bed and suddenly realizes that the one that lies close to him now so
same as the elevator woman Baba Zina 30 years ago.
Joke #47524 —  
 
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