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Now, after a color version of "17 Moments of Spring", Stirlitz easily
could find his house on the red flag on the roof ...
Joke #48348 —  
 
0
 
To pedestrians in Russia have become full participants in the road
movement, they need to give numbers. And to be respected - machines.
Joke #48347 —  
 
0
 
Engine power of the North Korean ballistic missile is 10
thousand horsepower. This is about half of all North Korea's horses.
Joke #48346 —  
 
0
 
If you bought a dog and she is gnawing on trees - perhaps you got
rare breed "boberman.
Joke #48345 —  
 
0
 
Sasha and Pasha, tried expensive powder, no longer see the difference between
dirty and clean pants ...
And if there is no difference, why do we have to spend money on Doshu?
Joke #48344 —  
 
-1
 
- What is a "selective memory"?
- This is when the candidate remembers about his promises to voters
exactly to the moment before he was elected.
Joke #48343 —  
 
0
 
He - evakuatorschik. She - the tax inspector. See the video:
"You bastards".
Joke #48342 —  
 
-1
 
Caught one guy goldfish. That him and said: "Let go - will perform
three wishes!
Well, he says:
- I want to steep heifer! Shit, fish, why did you give me a cow? Then let
better than a lot of bucks! No, fish, bitch, why are you in my home for the elderly
sent? You know, fish, wish you did not know how to perform, so go
my ass OY! What is in my ass and slippery moves?
Joke #48341 —  
 
-1
 
Georgia passed and the only possible alternative Contest
gay pride parade.
Joke #48340 —  
 
-1
 
2009. Crisis. Meeting in Moscow metro:
- Crisis. The money collected is less than steel. Must do something.
- Let's raise the price of the ticket!
- Type can not, then the newly-raised.
- And let's drop the price, more people will go!
- How does it drop the price?? Are you crazy??
- And let's rename a couple of stations!
- Why?
- Crisis. Must do something.
- Exactly! Let's rename!
Joke #48339 —  
 
1
 
One of Woody Allen was asked:
- And what you would like to see people talking about you through 100 years?
Well-known director and actor, who was then under 60, said:
- I would like them to say: "And he looks good for her
age.
Joke #48338 —  
 
0
 
Hooked the bumper of the "KAMAZ" car "Oka" was involuntary
member of Paris-Dakar rally.
Joke #48337 —  
 
0
 
Good doctors - a mistake, buried and forgotten.
Joke #48336 —  
 
0
 
In Odessa, the station reaches out to dark-haired girl from Odessa,
taking her for a gypsy girl.
- I guess!
- With us, beauty, heartbreak ... Very large. You suddenly
lost a husband or lover ...
- But I'm still a girl - shy newcomer.
- Well, then, it was a purse.
Joke #48335 —  
 
-1
 
- Listen, have you ever, this black bar end?
- Of course, I'm not eternal ...
Joke #48334 —  
 
0
 
Recipe for CHILD to sleep:
Take a young child not more than 15 kg. Rinse
with his dirt in warm water. Wrap a clean body in pajamas
and press gently to his chest. Within 5 minutes of slow
wiggle. Then, through clenched teeth tale and thoroughly
Lay the child in pre-cooked dish, preferably --
bed. Impose razmyakshego child laterally soft toys.
Machinery and sweeties to taste. Cover the top tightly with a blanket and
that make the nursery a little spark to child
"escaped". An hour later the child is ready. Readiness can be defined
lightly browned on the cheeks.
For those who want to prepare a child to bed before the arrival of guests --
QUICK RECIPE PREPARATION:
Catch a child running around the apartment, good repel it with
back and flip open on the bed. All. You can receive guests.
Joke #48333 —  
 
0
 
Poet can you not be, and however, you will not be obliged!
Joke #48332 —  
 
0
 
The most sad and dismal car - Emoskvich.
Joke #48331 —  
 
0
 
Beauty - terrible force, but Photoshop even more frightening ...
Joke #48330 —  
 
0
 
Poverty is no crime, because it is easily corrected with money.
And wealth is not a vice, because it is corrected more easily, even without money.
Joke #48329 —  
 
0
 
- You know, would never have thought to meet you
in such a place! Place of sin and debauchery! And seemed
a decent man! Tomorrow, on the artistic council, I put
question ... No, let's lower than ... so here at
artistic council ... I ... put .... Let me put myself ... ...
Joke #48328 —  
 
0
 
- Where are you as a girl?
- What do you mean?
- Well, in maxillofacial just did not bring!
- Are you crazy? I am a nurse!
Joke #48327 —  
 
0
 
If you want to have your husband had a lot of money,
not to select them from him!
Joke #48326 —  
 
0
 
Iron produced at the suit welder indelible impression.
Joke #48110 —  
 
0
 
Listen Pyatrovna as well as on antiligenski say, like "go RSR?
Well STE padruga simply, I must say, I'll go,'m going pop art!
Joke #48108 —  
 
0
 
- The best way to kill policy, Joseph Vissagionovich, it pgevgatit it
an icon.
- Or even better - in a mummy - thought comrade. Stalin, staring at the Comrade.
Lenin.
Joke #48107 —  
 
0
 
- Hello, neighbor! And I heard you like dying go?
- Come a few days bony, have a heart - now I have grass
the lawn mowing.
Joke #48106 —  
 
0
 
From advertising:
"Buy Russia's helicopters - the best remedy for dismissal
objectionable governors "
Joke #48105 —  
 
0
 
Ego swollen and interfere with walking.
Joke #48104 —  
 
0
 
Australian Aborigines have no word in the language of "work" and the word "think".
Blin, how I envy them when I think about work.
Joke #48103 —  
 
0
 
Luzhkov: the gay parade ban in extreme cases admit
procession of young eksgibitsionistok.
Joke #48102 —  
 
0
 
At the doctor's office. Doctor:
- Next.
Creeping man and murmurs:
- Save me, doctor.
- What do you have?
- Yesterday, the beginning of a headache, then the pain and weakness spread
throughout the body, so even the legs have been denied ...
- Of course, here (gives the patient a pill) to swallow the minivideokameru,
see what you have there.
The patient swallows. Doctor includes a monitor and starts with interest
look. Doctor:
- Yes you have a new disease of some sort, my dear, the whole body, your cells
absolutely crazy poshodili - laid off each other, accused of cheating
not seem to work on one body, closing entire bodies, badly
case.
- Doctor, what will happen to me?
- Yes, and very interesting to me, come in two weeks, may
something will change.
- But why only two weeks?
- Do you have a two-week meeting of the cells 20 leading officials, G-20, so
and see if you remember that all belong to one body and
agree - recover ... Well, all good (reaching out).
- Doctor, and if you do not agree ...
The doctor thought for a moment:
- Yes, you are right, we should not risk, return me one please
minivideokameru ...
Joke #48101 —  
 
0
 
Paradox - to make black blue is much easier than do blue
Negro ...
Joke #48100 —  
 
0
 
Main question of Russia's economy: how much should cost a barrel
oil to replace the artificial turf "Luzhniki" in the grass?
Joke #48099 —  
 
0
 
If there is a habit, then a snack useful.
Joke #48098 —  
 
0
 
If the press was admitted to the authorities, the policy would have been only two
Party: glossy and yellow.
Joke #48097 —  
 
0
 
Why the second semifinal Evrovizii will only Thursday?
During the entire environment will Olimpiytsky from seeds to clean;)
Joke #48096 —  
 
0
 
Crisis crawled up to me ... Eating moldy cheese, wine, drink the old, in the car
I go without a roof.
Dunkin.
Joke #48095 —  
 
0
 
Ernst comes to Putin and said:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, you know that in the past year, Bilan at
Eurovision win, so this year in Moscow should Evrovidinie
pass already had to begin preparing.
- Well, fellow Bilan, eco he raised the image of Russia! And how
money needs to prepare?
- Billion dollars.
Prime cough:
- Let then this year for Russia Prikhodko sings.
Joke #48094 —  
 
0
 
- Doctor, I live with a woman in her apartment. I tidy up, my dishes, doing
repairs, bring money home, and when she has a mood --
doing
her sex. Who I am: her husband or boyfriend?
- You - Gastarbeiter!
Joke #48092 —  
 
0
 
- Well, how's your new follower?
- Blocked uncouth! Yesterday, dressed open dress, hugged a couple of times - all
shoulders in splinters.
Joke #48091 —  
 
0
 
For that I am truly grateful to the evolution - so it is a fact that our girls
hair asshole did not grow ...
Joke #48090 —  
 
0
 
Man - it's my own. Pig - nourishing. And when coughing - it is dangerous ...
Joke #48089 —  
 
0
 
Three degree of "Mu" older girls: Cartoons, Music, guys.
Joke #48087 —  
 
0
 
Mikhail Saakashvili - the democratic and zakonnoizbranny President of Georgia,
who overthrew the democratic and zakonnoizbrannogo President of Georgia
Shevardnadze, who in turn overthrew the democratic and
zakonnoizbrannogo Georgian President Gamsakhurdia.
Joke #48086 —  
 
0
 
The happiness of people depends on two things - from the welfare of women and
blagostoyaniya men.
Joke #48085 —  
 
0
 
Pastor repeated Stirlitz that he drums into his last three
hours. Listening to the pastor, Stirlitz continued to ponder ..
- No, - said Stirlitz, looking up from his meditations. - You must
not send reports of MTS and Beeline.
Joke #48084 —  
 
0
 
Tajik players plaster wall during a match opponent.
Joke #48083 —  
 
1
 
Moscow riot police had dispersed competition Evrovizhen-2009: accepted for
gay parade ...
Joke #48082 —  
 
0
 
- With a condom, it's not treason Well, yes?
- Aha! And with a silencer, it is not murder ...
Joke #48081 —  
 
0
 
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