Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
In public transport banned from running ads
sound. Millions of TV viewers are waiting for that sound in the advertising ban and
television. Especially hoping to introduce broadcast without sound
listeners.
Joke #49270 —  
 
0
 
Want to know the cost of SMS to short number, send SMS to
Number 2345.
Joke #49269 —  
 
0
 
And they said the gods Sisyphus:
- In all his life sentence going to roll uphill a stone!
- And not something lighter?
- Then you will fight corruption!
- Let's stone?
Joke #49268 —  
 
0
 
- Hurray! Yushchenko salary reduced by half!
- Well, what are you so happy? How he gets there hryvnya? For
country is a mere trifle.
- You do not understand. Now, in accordance with labor laws, he
must work twice as less.
- A. ..
Joke #49267 —  
 
0
 
Putin said that the ruble will not collapse. Now - just nu .. ec, understood
people.
Joke #49266 —  
 
0
 
Analysts predict the peak of the global financial crisis will have on
8th of March.
Joke #49265 —  
 
0
 
Watch the hand:

1. If you have a therapy, it should be, and psychosurgery.
2. If the therapist is engaged in psychotherapy, it psychosurgery should
engage in psychosurgery.
3. If the therapist heals the soul, then psychosurgery should be of you soul
remove.
Joke #49264 —  
 
0
 
"The Bible teaches us to love his neighbor, Kama-Sutra explains how
it ...."
Note-old tells anyone specifically, but chubby organizer --
when ...
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #49263 —  
 
0
 
Muller felt an unpleasant chill inside.
- Again Stirlitz in his underpants on the balcony smoking, - he thought.
Joke #49262 —  
 
0
 
- Heard, traffic police officers they mark our rights!
- Now you know why they then just smell!
tomatov.com
Joke #49261 —  
 
0
 
Programmer doctor:
- Doctor, I'm sick. I can not tear myself away from the computer. 18 hours in
day I spend in front of the monitor!
- A hopeless case does not happen, we will treat.
- What??
- It is clear what - alcohol, cigarettes, bl * g * mi!
Joke #49260 —  
 
0
 
Kudrin said: "If you set the rate of the ruble to the dollar 50:1, it immediately gives
us to solve all problems. "
Zhukov: "Except one. They give a face ".
Joke #49259 —  
 
0
 
- A whole month has another dietary supplement, and any sense! Interesting, but as
This abbreviation stands for?
- Ineptly appropriated money.
Joke #49258 —  
 
0
 
Three categories of State Duma deputies: lickspittles, standing in the position;
Gryzoblyudy, standing in opposition, and Blyudovedy standing at the head of the feast.
Joke #49257 —  
 
0
 
Sensation! Scientists have proved the existence of scientists!
Joke #49256 —  
 
0
 
Following the reduction of two Customs found that there was no budget deficit in
This year, not even planned.
Joke #49254 —  
 
0
 
Pi ... Pi ... Pi ... Pi.
Twenty-two hours. Your children at home?

Pi ... Pi ...
Two hours of the night. Your father's house?

Pi ... Pi ... Pi ... Pi ... Pi ... Pi.
Six o'clock in the morning. You home?
Joke #49253 —  
 
0
 
"Dangerous zone. The poor condition of window frames.
Very dangerous zone. The poor condition of plaque, which warns
on the emergency condition of window frames.
Joke #49252 —  
 
0
 
Watching the Ukrainian government, we can only pray that
it has not made the statement that "will soon run out of Cold Spring Required
be! ". Then all kranty, the polar night in the heart of Europe.
Joke #49251 —  
 
0
 
In the column "Kinolyap" decided to show the episode, "Carmelita" completely.
Joke #49250 —  
 
0
 
- Well, not always the same will be the financial crisis?
- It will end simultaneously with the money! ..
- = 8 - [~]
Joke #49249 —  
 
0
 
- Why Themis blindfolded?
- And could not see who she is raped!
Joke #49248 —  
 
0
 
Residents of Primorye want to convert e-government in
electric, differences only over a voltage sum
to elektrostulyam government.
Joke #49247 —  
 
0
 
The crisis is clearly delayed, if you are already ill remember the meaning of the expression
"work for money."
Joke #49246 —  
 
0
 
- My dear, what are you to give me on March 8?
- Well, something like that, from the soul!
- It would be better from Versace!
Joke #49245 —  
 
0
 
Stages of development of our society: feudalism - capitalism - socialism --
idiocy ...
tomatov.com
Joke #49244 —  
 
0
 
Actor - the only profession where clients are late for work
greeted with applause.
Joke #49242 —  
 
0
 
In order not to plunge into shit, we must carefully look at his feet,
not to plunge in the mortgage, we must carefully look into the eyes
Government.
Joke #49241 —  
 
0
 
Literature compelling argument, if the gateway in the hands of a volume of War and
Peace.
Joke #49240 —  
 
0
 
I The gait ...
And it was again a beer with vodka.
Joke #49239 —  
 
0
 
At this year's Eurovision Song Contest again chosen from Russia Dima Bilan! For
ensure victory in the backup dancers instead of Yevgeny Plushenko he will
worker in overalls with the words "Gazprom", methodically twisting
valve.
Joke #49238 —  
 
0
 
Piglet:
- Vinnie, why do you think it's wrong bees?
Winnie the Pooh:
- And look at me as something lewd ...
Joke #49237 —  
 
0
 
- And what am I in the Lenin Mausoleum not see?
- So he passed the rent!
Joke #49236 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, who are the rogues?
- Well ... these are people who have all human oblyadenelo.
Joke #49235 —  
 
0
 
From mobilization to war Pinocchio unscrewed with screws.
Joke #49234 —  
 
0
 
Rings Obama Yushchenko:
- Agent Yushchenko, I order you to return to the base of the CIA in Washington.
- For what?
- For violation of political correctness. You said that the first people on
Earth have been Ukrainians, while all clear that they were
Kenyans!
Joke #49233 —  
 
0
 
Sobral Putin Council of Ministers to discuss the matter of raising
fertility.
- Your suggestions? Ministry of Energy?
- We can all night long to cut down the light so that people could
do this alone!
- Excellent. Ministry of Foreign Affairs?
Lavrov hesitated for a long time:
- Well, we can again establish relations with the Georgians. Georgians are expected to come
and will it ...
Putin:
- Okay. Ministry of Defense?
- We can as usual - just vpendyurit ...
Joke #49232 —  
 
0
 
1950 public toilet. At the exit - Sgt Petrenko. By withdrawing:
- So, citizen identification documents. Yeah, Ivanov. What citizen
Ivanov, celebrating a big deal? And what wiped? Newspaper. And that
newspaper printed a portrait of Comrade Stalin, forgotten? By the 58th article
go or pay a fine?
By the following:
- So, Sidorchuk. What about the portrait of Comrade Stalin's forgotten? On 58 th
go or pay a fine?
- Hey, the last one? Why so long you sit? Out! Yeah, Rabinovich! Than
he dried himself?
- I did not wipe it. I waited until dry!
Joke #49231 —  
 
0
 
In terms of the fact that Russians drink Carnival, oil
ranks last.
Joke #49230 —  
 
0
 
CEC did not reveal any violations of the elections in Russia. However, independent
observers, and many Russians are not identified and the elections themselves.
Joke #49229 —  
 
0
 
By tradition, the Carnival in the streets selling barbecues with beer.
Joke #49228 —  
 
0
 
In the air of "mad handle". Today we will make improvised
multifunctional device that can do everything the same as
iPhone. Please prepare in advance everything you need: transmitter, phonograph
teletype, easel, compass, hammer and nails.
Joke #49227 —  
 
0
 
Rig-impotent deliver the goods for a day earlier.
Joke #49226 —  
 
0
 
Comes guy settle down to work for AvtoVAZ, comes into the reception,
says:
- I want to work on your plant.
Prinimalschik:
- Do you have hands growing from?
Guy:
- Well, certainly not of asshole.
P.:
- Her! You do not come to us!
M.:
- Why?
P.:
- Will stand out from the team!
Joke #49225 —  
 
0
 
In the store "All of 45 rubles today, gone Euro. Management requests not
upset, because tomorrow guarded dollars.
Joke #49224 —  
 
0
 
- Man, what is behind you all the time drags?
- Oh, I came out of the "Oka" and forgot to unfasten seat belt ...
Joke #49223 —  
 
0
 
Pick up the keys to a woman makes sense only when it has
something inside.
Joke #49047 —  
 
0
 
For special payment of funeral services office workers will breed in your
apartment fire and splyashut a tambourine.
Joke #49046 —  
 
0
 
You are young and you have no money? Excellent! City recruitment office is waiting for you!
Joke #49045 —  
 
0
 
Manufacturer prosthetic legs give in good hands.
Joke #49044 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311