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New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

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- Why do the news was so little of the truth? - This is a modern style - nanorealizm.
Joke #49578 —  
 
0
 
A guy comes to the doctor and complains: - Here, throat picked up - it hurts - the horror! But I have a method - a drink Sotochka cognac, and everything passes. The doctor asks: - So, what are you hurt? - Heart, here. How to grab - so it seems that I'm dying. I also being treated. Brandy 150 deryabnu - and will. - Well understood. And to me something which came just healed yourself? - Cure, doctor, or even brandy are expensive!
Joke #49577 —  
 
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- Then-tuk. - Who's there? - Nonsense! - Who?? - Nonsense! - Brad some. - Yes, I do not delirium. Ghali mother I am. Galya you?
Joke #49576 —  
 
0
 
Guy on the market to buy zucchini. Seller: - That you male or female? :-O - And I have to order caviar were ...
Joke #49575 —  
 
0
 
~ ~ ~


Lenin lived, Lenin zhot, Lenin will reap.
Joke #49574 —  
 
0
 
The girl is easy to cool the ardor of his guy, overly persistent pushing for sex. It is only a few times to correct him, replacing the word "sex" with the word "conception" ...
Joke #49572 —  
 
0
 
Is there a way out of financial crisis in Russia? Eat! Sheremetyevo-2!
Joke #49571 —  
 
0
 
Previously we used to on television showed the nuggets, but now increasingly freaks ...
Joke #49570 —  
 
0
 
The beauty of course save the world, but then take him to the victim.
Joke #49569 —  
 
0
 
Your friend flew? One of two things: either your friend - a girl, or your friend likes cookies, sugar, and your name is Babe, and you have a dog.
Joke #49568 —  
 
0
 
GLONASS system is more dangerous? Its main developer - a direct descendant of the IM Susanin ...
Joke #49567 —  
 
0
 
Jews and Muslims are no sebaceous jokes. Really - how can
be anecdote
Joke #49566 —  
 
-1
 
Man comes to the doctor ...
- At that complaining?
- Doctors are ... I have a feeling that a huge hole in the ass ...
- Hmmm ... undress, bend, Push the lago ... BLYAYAYAYAYA! Well hole!
What happened?
- Yes I'm here with an elephant fucked ...
- Hmmm .. strange ... as far as I know, an elephant's long, but thin dick.
And then this dyren ...
- He first finger ....
Joke #49565 —  
 
0
 
Michelle Obama crashed near the White House garden, and before the White House person
Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Joke #49564 —  
 
0
 
- For you and I are very similar, right?
- True ... How Courchevel and Krizhopil.
Joke #49563 —  
 
0
 
The dog must for your trip to do three things:
1. Piss on a tree
2. Dig a hole,
3. Bite a passerby.
Joke #49562 —  
 
-1
 
Yesterday decided to stop drinking. Today is understood - not in good faith.
Joke #49561 —  
 
0
 


He left her husband to play hockey. Wife as a lover and relies leads
warning: - if the husband suddenly returned at once hiding, but not under
bed, and then when they lose, he goes and throws a club there with
words "hooks-yaki". Well two hours later claimed her husband. Lover forgets
the words of his wife and crawls under the bed. Then her husband throws after loss
team throws stick and shouting "hooks-yaki" - here comes out with a crooked
face of a lover and says, "you have hooks-yaki, and I have sex clubs in Sraka.
:-)
Joke #49560 —  
 
0
 
During the next economic crisis met two people:
- Work is?
- No. And you?
- Again, no. Steeper.
- And I'm better! Come to spin together!
And so it came carnival.
tomatov.com
Joke #49559 —  
 
0
 
VAZ designers are working on the design of a six-car.
Sixth place is for car mechanician.
Joke #49558 —  
 
0
 
One can endlessly watch two things: on the left tit ... and
right ...
Joke #49557 —  
 
0
 
If a woman for a long time not to torment - she begins to suffer herself.
Joke #49556 —  
 
0
 
At the opening of a new sewer manhole were: Volga right
front wheel, a six - rear left, eye completely.
Joke #49555 —  
 
0
 
- Good work two jobs! A lot of money! But because
that they pay a lot, but because they spend no time.
Joke #49554 —  
 
0
 
On the border:
- Comrade Lieutenant, and are intelligent dogs?
- Sometimes, ordinary. Sometimes even smarter owners. I was so ...
Joke #49553 —  
 
0
 
Dear women
I congratulate you on Women's Day!
Bathhouse attendant.
Joke #49552 —  
 
0
 
Production Company organizes the recruitment of new staff.
Depending on the results of the interview, the food will be given one
two, or three times a day.
Joke #49551 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, can dismiss Medvedev Putin?
- And why not, if he wanted to impeach?
Joke #49550 —  
 
0
 
Two blondes talking.
The first - "What a good spring, the days are getting longer.
Second - "Pah-pah, not the evil eye."
Joke #49549 —  
 
0
 
- Che's something from my participation in the life of black stripes ...
- Why, Stepan?
- I do not know. Just when I come home early in the morning with his mistress
my wife, bang! rolling pin on the head - a black stripe.
anekdotc.ru
Joke #49548 —  
 
0
 


Xenophobes of all countries, unite!
Joke #49547 —  
 
-1
 
It turns out: the number of the beast - it is only ...
Number pedigree of your pet
dronakos
Joke #49546 —  
 
-1
 
I gave at the anniversary dildo. Why thirty years had suffered in
Marriage?
Joke #49545 —  
 
0
 
Vovochkin father, flipping through the diary her son:
- For such a mark, I'll flog belt! Have you a man or a teacher
woman?
- Woman, Daddy. What?
- Then I will not ...
Joke #49544 —  
 
0
 
Do not you think that saying: "Where was born there and handy" --
terribly vulgar?
Joke #49543 —  
 
0
 
Propose the rules of the EGE add items:
1. 50/50
2. Call a friend
3. Help Room
Joke #49542 —  
 
0
 
- Uncle, and you that have not themselves know how?
- Why are you so decided, Little Johnny?
- A mother on the eve of your arrival, said: "Again, your uncle kiss
week to feed! "
Joke #49541 —  
 
0
 
Chelyabinsk hackers are so severe that, instead of memorize
password from the mail, each time breaking her to go.
Joke #49539 —  
 
0
 
- Hey, Uncle, not podskazhesh: how long?
- Time!?
- Yes, but why are you a retard!
- I: wore a bulletproof vest, brass knuckles in his pocket lies, Makarov on the battle already
platoon ... A clock gift - I'm home I forgot!
Joke #49538 —  
 
0
 
From thirst for knowledge is constantly dry mouth, so students are forced
regularly drink beer in large quantities.
Joke #49537 —  
 
-1
 
A young couple sits on the shore of the lake. Sunset, birds are singing, swans swim
flowers fragrant, nice.
Her husband, panting from the surging emotions, says:
- Honey, let's divorced!
Joke #49536 —  
 
0
 
On dead or nothing, or good. For example: "He died, and that's good."
Joke #49535 —  
 
0
 
Miraculously come Spring ... Slowly making their way out from under the thick snow,
kindly welcoming the sun, fresh breezes and views of passers-by were
timid peep the first piece of shit.
Joke #49534 —  
 
0
 
In the economic formula: commodity - money - commodity, by recklessly forgot
mention taxes.
Joke #49533 —  
 
0
 
Uniform - a form of existence of a military matter.
Joke #49532 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- How do I know whether a blonde girl?
- If silent - no way.
Joke #49531 —  
 
0
 
A man after his marriage comes to work. Co-workers:
- Well, and how the wedding night?
- I do not remember! I lost consciousness after the fact, as she lashes come unstuck.
Joke #49530 —  
 
0
 
In general, most food poisoning starts with the words:
Yes blasphemy in his refrigerator be? "
Joke #49529 —  
 
0
 
Thank God that Luzhkov is not a Muslim. Otherwise, imagine how much
We would be billionaire!
Joke #49528 —  
 
0
 
Russia immigrant arrived in New York.
He stops the first man walking on the street and said: "Thank you,
Mr. American, for what you gave me to come to this country, where I
as a new immigrant, received housing, food stamps, free
care for the first time, and free education! "
Passerby said: "You are mistaken, I'm Mexican."
Man goes on and encounters another passer: "Thank you, that there
such a beautiful country like America .. "The man said:" I am not an American
I'm Vietnamese. "
The newly arrived goes further and stops the next person,
which he sees, shakes his hand and said: "Thank you
wonderful America! "On that person also holds out his hand and
said: "I'm from the Middle East. I am not American."
Finally he sees a good-looking lady and asked: "Are you American?"
She said: "No, I am from Africa." Puzzled, he asks her: "Where
all Americans? "African lady looks at his watch and says:
"Probably at work."
Joke #49527 —  
 
0
 
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