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- Pisya ... Pisya you. - Pisya me? - Pisz you ... I wrote to you, in short.
Joke #49629 —  
 
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A manual for alimony "Paternal instinct - as win in an animal. "
Joke #49628 —  
 
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News Culture. In the ensuing economic crisis sculptor Zurab Tsereteli passed to manufacture tin soldiers.
Joke #49627 —  
 
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I bought a tin of food guy. Tries. The taste - sucks! Read the label: Ingredients: shit, identical to natural ...
Joke #49626 —  
 
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Sequel to "Alien vs. Predator" will "and Alien vs. Predator Valuev.
Joke #49625 —  
 
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Guy at the post office. - There I translated not come? - What's your name? - Zhopkin Erast Petrovich! - Then came the money for Poluzhopkina Erast Petrovich! - How can it be? - I do not know! - That's bad luck? Well then give at least half!
Joke #49624 —  
 
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Dialogue in the first wedding night. - Well, Masya, you must have before me were the boys ... - What are you, Vasya! - Then you probably girlfriends told? - No! - Then, perhaps, you mother say? - Again, no! - Perhaps you read about in books? - What are you, Vasya, I just learned books read! - Newspapers, magazines? - No! - Or maybe you're on TV about it looking? - Alas! - Internet? - No, no! - That's the trouble, the wife did not know how to do, have a cookbook buy! Parsley
Joke #49623 —  
 
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In order to advertise the clothes - the model must be beautiful figure. To advertise shampoo - beautiful hair. Toothpaste -- beautiful and healthy teeth. Grommets - need to be a blue blood.
Joke #49622 —  
 
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- Oh, and what is on you can smell? Lilies of the Valley? - No. This honeysuckle. - Honeysuckle? what is it? - Well ... is something like desman, only plant.
Joke #49621 —  
 
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- My son, eat bread! - Mom, but I do not like bread! - Son, have bread to eat! - And why? - To grow up big and strong, able to earn a living! - Mom! But I do not like bread!
Joke #49620 —  
 
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- What is the difference between a rottweiler and a poodle? - If the Rottweiler began e & Insert your foot, better let him finish ...
Joke #49619 —  
 
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- The patient, wake up, now we'll do klizmochku and put candle. - Maybe we should not, doctor? My candlestick still hurts.
Joke #49618 —  
 
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Old shoes will last longer if you do not buy new ones.
Joke #49617 —  
 
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- I've heard, my lord, Mitka Kosoy returned, - GGST, Fedor! His train three years ago to count planted! - So what! He served and returned!
Joke #49616 —  
 
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- Is it true that the results of IQ-test are taken into account when applying for a job? - True. Those who have higher IQ than the head - do not take.
Joke #49615 —  
 
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- Let's drink! - Do not want to! - Well, at least for a little bit! - I can not, I'm driving! - Well, at least for the smell!
Joke #49614 —  
 
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~ ~ ~


This letter is happiness! Finally it does not need to send anywhere! Happiness come to you with this letter, relax and accept it. But if you start to communicate it, happiness will be taken from you with this letter, but to you return all your hemorrhoids. And those people who you razoshlesh it ever turn away from you. Never do!
Joke #49613 —  
 
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If you receive a message with a proposal to increase the penis - as it consider: as spam or as an anonymous letter from his wife?
Joke #49612 —  
 
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- Rabinovich, you are said to have written his memoirs? - Taki yes, wrote. - And how do you call them? - "Among Strangers, a stranger among his.
Joke #49611 —  
 
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Doctor at the time of bypass at the hospital bedside stockbroker: - So what have we? Not bad - 36,6. Broker: - Doctor, that's good. That's below the two-currency corridor.
Joke #49610 —  
 
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And God said to the men: - Produce a joy of life tireless sex-work! I gave them desire to have all the women in the world. A lazy, gave his wife.
Joke #49609 —  
 
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Authorities in the Athletics Federation captured shot putter and throwers hammer.
Joke #49608 —  
 
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Listen first, speak last. In the attack either extreme, to protect the core. In hatred be clever, fool in love. And you will have happiness without unnecessary decorations.
Joke #49607 —  
 
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Narcissism differs from the self-respect only by the fact that the second case itself does not have.
Joke #49606 —  
 
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Grandpa on the red "Zaporozhets" gape at the pedestrian crossing and was shot down a pedestrian ...
Joke #49605 —  
 
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Dreaming is not harmful. Harmful dreams to fulfill.
Joke #49604 —  
 
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Announcement on the fence paid beach: Beach is open from 08:00 to 20:00. From 20:00 to 08:00 along the coast runs a shark. "
Joke #49603 —  
 
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- You know what's missing in your insidious plan? - What is it? - Plan and treachery!
Joke #49602 —  
 
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Law of conservation of grandmothers: how many grandmothers come to a stop, so same and will.
Joke #49601 —  
 
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What is the third-generation technology? This technique, which accumulated money the two previous generations.
Joke #49600 —  
 
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From observations on the roads. It seems that all BMW turn signals are optional, being very, very expensive. So expensive that most BMW-owners of this money was not enough.
Joke #49599 —  
 
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Teetotal officer - a nightmare for the employer. How pripret even drive especially that it was not for that ... (c) Ivan Fuckov
Joke #49598 —  
 
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- Why Russia is not acting new nanotechnology? - Because the old DAYDAYtehnologii stronger. tomatov.com
Joke #49597 —  
 
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A classmate is attending the second meeting with a former classmate of the two cases: either immediately gave him, or he just did not.
Joke #49596 —  
 
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How I hate Dom-2. For that torment young animals?
Joke #49595 —  
 
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When testing vibrators score "satisfactory" is better than "good."
Joke #49594 —  
 
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TV was in the kitchen. My wife complained that at night it looks and inadvertently eats. Fullness. We bought a second TV in the room. Now she asks to buy a small room fridge.
Joke #49593 —  
 
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Ukraine is gradually falls into a tranche ... tomatov.com
Joke #49592 —  
 
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Now, in times of crisis, advertise mortgage loans as unsafe, as praising the dignity of sheepskin flock of sheep.
Joke #49591 —  
 
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Government does not support a good half of the population. And that really talk about evil ...
Joke #49590 —  
 
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~ ~ ~


The most terrifying horror movie broadcasts in the morning mirror.
Joke #49589 —  
 
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Bad to be a celebrity. Normal, ordinary sex can become great scandal. But in fact, Paris?
Joke #49588 —  
 
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Yesterday, the State of Liechtenstein attacked a passerby and stole his money.
Joke #49587 —  
 
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- Dad, why everybody wants the crisis soon reached the bottom? - Because, when the drowned man reaches the bottom, it begins to emerge.
Joke #49586 —  
 
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Inhuman stupidity does not happen, stupidity - is a form of existence reasonable matter.
Joke #49585 —  
 
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Ringtone: - Thank you for calling our agency to connect to the laundry dial in tone mode 112, for connection with the Ministry of Culture dial 121, and kindly requested not to be confused figures.
Joke #49583 —  
 
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Ordinance: Rename the farm "Leninsky by" in "God's ways inscrutable.
Joke #49582 —  
 
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Throughout the world blue combined with yellow makes green, and only Ukraine - brown.
Joke #49581 —  
 
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Scientists found that the Venus de Milo was the first trainer for police - Ancient Greek police officers were trained on him cock hands of criminals.
Joke #49580 —  
 
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Listen, and with whom it Pugacheva? Her train was like a daughter?
Joke #49579 —  
 
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