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- With a mouse you have some! ..
- What?
- Yes, I eynym cursor full screen scratched!
Joke #4728 —  
 
0
 
Russian - the most hospitable people, and evrei ... most gostepohodny!
(PalSanych)
Joke #4727 —  
 
0
 
Cursing Moskal, on Ukrainian cuisine with a burning hatred of Russia
gas.
A. Dautov
Joke #4726 —  
 
0
 
- Kum and scho you robish in my cellar?
- Duc, you're looking for.
- And my fat zachim ate?
- Chob under your feet do not mix.
jonas
Joke #4725 —  
 
0
 
Bank NA obyavil bankruptcy. Bank depositors proposed
alternative: either to take away anything, but at once, or all, but never.
Joke #4724 —  
 
-1
 
- Doctor, I beg you, how many left to live?
- I'm not cuckoo.
- Doctor, I want to know the truth, the truth! Come!
- I'm not cuckoo.
- Well, Doctor!
- Not a cuckoo!
- "Please, doctor, look, I'm on co-le exercises appropriate ask the truth!
Well, doctor, well!
- Well, ku ...
V. Egiyants
Joke #4723 —  
 
3
 
Pharmacist to his wife:
- Do not go out until the pharmacy - trying to sell 6 bottles in my medicine
Slimming.
Joke #4722 —  
 
-1
 
The buyer asked the seller on the market:
- And where is your cow?
- What has a cow, a chicken, I sell - hurt the seller said.
- Yes, nothing you are offended, I'm not a chicken, I'm your wife had in mind!
Joke #4721 —  
 
-1
 
- Why did you decide that the KGB found around your home, an eavesdropper
bug?
- In my apartment the day before at a cabinet more!
ss
Joke #4720 —  
 
0
 
- Where did you get Fingal?
- Yesterday a friend returned from honeymoon.
- And what?
- That I persuaded him to marry ...
Amen
Joke #4719 —  
 
0
 
From the history of painting.
It turns out that in the world, there is no complete still life
"Cold beer with a big steaming shrimp.
Joke #4718 —  
 
0
 
Announcement: lovers of rare birds! Travel Agency
"Taras Bulba and his sons, organizes excursions in the middle of the Dnieper.
Joke #4717 —  
 
0
 
According to statistics, in the majority of women are rubber
smoke.
Joke #4716 —  
 
0
 
Military says to his wife:
- Congratulate me - I was given a major.
- Congratulations. And what you did to him? ..
Joke #4715 —  
 
0
 
He married a lieutenant after graduation from the College of the Navy.
Arrives with his wife at the base, and ta-a-am! one word - corruption, the entire base
sleeps under a blanket.
Well, as it should be the lieutenant, commanding him immediately to avtonomku
detach.
Our lame duck, looking at zhist in the garrison, drawn to his friend
with the communications hub: You said Basil, as something to learn about my
pious which is not good, went off a telegram to the boat that way
Mol and so - his wife died. Agreed.
A month avtonomki. On the boat comes to a radio message: "The wife
Lieutenant Pupkin died. "commander, after reading a report which includes
a human face and decides to find out when the funeral of the unfortunate.
From the earth comes the answer: "When the funeral do not know, but access to the body
continues.
Joke #4714 —  
 
0
 
From ads on Moscow train stations:
"Dear passengers! Esly you have not met at the train or you lost
relatives and friends - what the hell do you come to Moscow?? "

-= Sheikh-ud-Jaish-al-Rus =-
Joke #4713 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, I can take your car in the evening?
- Son, what do you give your legs?
- One - for a clutch pedal, the second - for the brakes and gas!
jonas
Joke #4712 —  
 
0
 
In the family of the police were born twins. Colleagues asked:
- How do you distinguish them?
- Very simple - fingerprint ...
Amen
Joke #4711 —  
 
0
 
Building Company "Nizhny Novgorod Story ...
Advertising slogan: We are putting Ha CONSCIENCE
Joke #4710 —  
 
0
 
GAI:
- Come on, open the trunk. So! This is your machine?
- Not me!
- Whose?
- Bears Kalashnikov!
Joke #4709 —  
 
0
 
- Vchepa pepeshel the winter peziny. Spiking. Rekomendyyu.
Ppodayut the pharmacy for the Camera angle position ...
Joke #4708 —  
 
0
 
Lesson in Georgia school.
- Gogi, gde hummingbirds live?
- In Chechne, gaspadyn uchitel!
-??
- And how, out of how many flies - 5.45 caliber, 7.62 caliber ...
Joke #4707 —  
 
0
 
This tea has been gently selected on the border with Tajikistan
Princess Duri
Talk health
Joke #4706 —  
 
0
 
From the statement: "Take me to the manual. In HS I was."
Joke #4705 —  
 
0
 
Shahid - Caucasian driving VAZ 2106
Joke #4704 —  
 
0
 
VS Chernomyrdin opened a hotel for foreign tourists and called
Hotel "Kak luchshe"
Joke #4703 —  
 
0
 
Life is given to man only once, but how ridiculous way ...
Joke #4702 —  
 
0
 
- I have companies emerged virus.
- And what have you done?
- Injection.
- Where?
- Under the mouse ...
Joke #4701 —  
 
0
 
Hussein apologized for invading Kuwait 90-year and suggested
unite.
Joke #4700 —  
 
0
 
Three young Americans are sitting at the bar drinking whiskey, two of them white
and one black as a boot.
One white says:
- That do not say, but in my veins flows the blood of the British.
Two others asked:
- Why?
- And my great-grandfather and great-grandmother had a different view on religion in England
and emigrated to the United States.
Another White said that in his veins Russian blood, because
his great-grandfather and great-grandmother escaped from the red plague in Russia.
Black, thinking, said:
- In my veins flows the same English blood.
Two white was surprised to look at him. He replied that the earliest
caught his great-grandfather into slavery and taken to the United States, he managed to eat two
British in Africa.
Joke #4699 —  
 
0
 
If you wake up in the morning and opened my eyes, you see in front of him:
VERY strange men - means you're not bad yesterday celebrated
birthday
VERY strange woman - not the fact that you became a lesbian
Ugryumov husband - in your life, nothing has changed
QUITE SHEFA - expect increase
Antonio Banderas - you fell asleep again at the TV
UNKNOWN bare feet - you probably burned, quickly move into the shade
MANY UNKNOWN bare feet - enough to sit on the starvation diet
Mother - Hurray, you're out of the coma
DOCTOR surprised face - it seems, the effect of anesthesia ended before
time
BEAR face - nothing you went to a campaign without instructor
Lions' heads - you definitely time to change professions
Little green men with an antenna on top - they still managed to drag

you on your spaceship
Baby in her arms I SMILE NURSES - childhood was over
Apostles Peter the keys to the Gates of Paradise - all the worst is already behind
Philip Kirkorov - "Good morning, Alla!
Joke #4698 —  
 
0
 
Anecdote from MTS:

Zvonkova Center, she takes the next challenge:
- Hello, girl, my phone is 912 *******, I roundnose, explain to me
how to use wap?
- Dwarf? You are wrong to call the subscriber's name ...
Joke #4697 —  
 
0
 
New Russian asks: "Tell me why you decided to visit
zoo?
- So this, er, uh, people watch a show ...
Joke #4696 —  
 
0
 
Old Jew asks his doctor on the analysis of urine, to which
the man answers - everything is normal, no pathology. Encouraged, he
returns home and tells his wife: "Sarah! I have for you good
news. I, you, our children, uncle Zarika Aunt Tsilya
remarkable analysis of urine! "
Joke #4695 —  
 
0
 
Evolution of a joke:

Dialogue in the pharmacy.

Prior to the restructuring:
- Tell me, is something from the head?
- Only the ax.

Heyday of perestroika:
- Tell me, is something from the head?
- There were axes, but have already discussed ...

After adjustment:
- Tell me, is something from the head?
- Appeared import tool - the guillotine.
Joke #4694 —  
 
0
 
Why the Chinese do not smoke?
Because they are so small and yellow!
Keshk
Joke #4693 —  
 
0
 
Mistress morning poet Vishnevsky:
"Yes-ah ... You have not only short poems" ...
Joke #4692 —  
 
0
 
There are two programmers and one says to another terrific
news:
- You've heard Bill Gates was yesterday at 200 bucks poorer.
- How so? : - []
- Yes, just yesterday I had it copied the Office Space.
Joke #4691 —  
 
0
 
Talk young goat and a small krokodilka:
- Ah! What a life! My husband is a stinking goat, and you
some crocodile!
Joke #4690 —  
 
0
 
Talking Veronica Mavrikeyevna Avdotya Nikitichna.
VM: - Nikitichna, imagine - is that the "White" in the "Brigade" played,
is a long time "dolls" voiced!
AN: - What are you talking about! Well, I must! That's because there is an actor or
singer
"nowhere", but it turns out, we've heard for a long time, but not
knew it was he ... By the way, but where Vitas took, do not know?
VM: - Vitas something? And, oh, d! Yes, he ra-adio, at Mayak worked! There is
is, you know, from 8.28 to 8.30: "PI-I-I-I-I ...... PI-I-I-I-I ........"
(c)
Joke #4689 —  
 
0
 
- Why you yesterday was not in school?
- My elder brother became ill.
- Are you a while?
- And I rode on his bike!
suckme `s saloon
Joke #4688 —  
 
0
 
He sits at the table before him a plate of borsch, she stands in the doorway in
nighty, he pays no attention to the food, completely absorbed
examining her feet. She lifts a little nightie, he
stand: - Come to me, my baby!
... It was 30 years.
He sits at the table before him a plate of borsch, she stands in the doorway in
nighty, he pays no attention to it, completely absorbed in the process
absorption borscht. It slightly raises nighty .. eats ... more ..
zero reaction ... withdraw it up to him ... eating ...
Rostral Columns:
- Why do you continue to eat? Do you remember 30 years ago, when you looked
me, you thought were not at all about food!
- Sorry, just when I looked at your feet, I wanted so much
call you "crystal shoe, and now my mind is nothing
except rubber galoshes, never at a loss ....
teydlik
Joke #4687 —  
 
0
 
Putin - now the enemies dzyudak full dzyudets.
Joke #4686 —  
 
0
 
Fuck a millionaire's daughter - a unique combination of business with pleasure.
Joke #4685 —  
 
0
 
The logic of Russia's life: Who does not drink, he smokes a good cigarette. Who does not
drinking and not smoking, that quality feeds. Who does not drink, does not smoke and
malnourished, the well-dressed. Who does not drink, does not smoke, malnourished and
badly dressed, in fact expensive car. Who does not drink, does not smoke, malnourished
poorly dressed and go on foot - in fact prekranaya apartment. Who does not drink, does not
smokes, underfed, poorly dressed, he walks to and live in huts - that
rest abroad. Who does not drink, does not smoke ... etc. .. And there is no
abroad - well-oo-oo ... Hence, he sits for the storage and use
drugs. The conclusion - sobriety - the first step to addiction and
Degeneration!
Joke #4684 —  
 
0
 
Eat Going East - help clear the city of stray dogs!
Joke #4683 —  
 
0
 
2010.
At the cemetery caretaker Vagankovsky ask:
- As you work, good pay?
- Yes, the salary, of course, a small, but podrabotok much. Flowers Here
sell. For example, the tomb of Okudzhava - both on his birthday
earn 30 dollars. But Vysotsky's grave - and 50
obtained. And here - the grave of Gorbachev, my most profitable point.
Here I am every day for a hundred bucks I have.
- Do the flowers?
- No, just put a sign: "Do not spit. Fine 10 kopecks.
Joke #4681 —  
 
0
 
A new interpretation of passages from good children's book:
I am a poet, I am called Svetik
From me to you all minetik!
:)
Joke #4680 —  
 
0
 
Inspired by reading the newspaper "Pravda" in 1979.

Thousandth YTD kilowatt-hour iron turned in by noon, cotton growers
Urengoya!
Joke #4679 —  
 
0
 
They sit two men in the circus:
- There will be horses!
- No, now would be camels!
- No horses!
- No camels!
(go camels)
- Beeednye horses!
Joke #4678 —  
 
0
 
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