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Internet-conference of Vladimir Putin.
- I came here 4 million messages with one question: when
Finally, increase the salary? In my opinion, it's just spam!
Joke #8626 —  
 
0
 
Gennady Zyuganov and Vladimir Zhirinovsky in the transfer of "the Stand!" On
charges Zhirinovsky Zyuganov long and detailed talks about
how at the Communist Party gathered a lot of money. Zhirinovsky interrupts
him: "All this nonsense!" There is just one way to be honest
earn big money! "
Zyuganov: "Well, what this means?
Zhirinovsky: "In!" I was sure that you do not know! "
Joke #8625 —  
 
0
 
Call the ambulance.
Manager: Aaale!
Woman: Hurry, hurry, come soon - my husband's bad!
Dispatcher: And who is it easy?
Joke #8623 —  
 
0
 
If the guys all the land ... (dream B. Moses)
Joke #8622 —  
 
0
 
- How does it look like?
- Well, 300 grams.
Joke #8621 —  
 
0
 
Finland. Two Finns are in no hurry on the side of the highway. Suddenly the past with
roar sweeps car. Five minutes later, one Finn asked
other:
- Yossi, aa chtto eettooo byyloo?
After some time, he says:
- Wow, Urho, and not sprashshivay! Etto byyl poozoor vsegoo fiinskogo
narooda - Mikka Haakkinen!
Joke #8620 —  
 
0
 
More recently, the "Russian Radio" was often heard song
"Vova-plague". Thus unobtrusively, our President, began his advertising
election campaign.
Joke #8619 —  
 
0
 
Is coming session. Prices of petroleum jelly grow.
Joke #8618 —  
 
0
 
If three smurnoj guy early in the morning go to the store, then they should not be
ask - for what? ".
Joke #8617 —  
 
0
 
election 1999
U.S. attacked Yugoslavia, and the Chechen rebels attacked Dagestan.
... for the new year, Boris Nikolayevich tired and goes away ...

election 2003
U.S. attacks Iraq, and the Chechen rebels again attacked Dagestan.
... Vova, soon a new year ... are you not tired? :)
Joke #8616 —  
 
0
 
- At the children's blocks letter "X", "Y", and "J" are always on the same
cube.
- Yes, but some are especially gifted children play immediately with 3 sets
cubes.
Joke #8615 —  
 
0
 
Russia Business: Kent-ponto-cops-kranty.
Joke #8614 —  
 
0
 
I married her. And in my phone address book, translated from the group
"Love" in the group "Family".
Joke #8613 —  
 
0
 
Wild West. Small town. Saloon. The banner hanging in the saloon
"Good Injun - a dead Indian", and under The banner is an Indian,
not yet dead, but hoorooshy.
CF
Joke #8612 —  
 
0
 
Announcement: Hats pinkodu damage to your credit card.
Joke #8611 —  
 
0
 
Sits addict with a friend on a bench and suddenly started laughing loudly.
- You what? - Asks a friend.
- Well, prikin, the launch pad at Baikonur took 20000 tons
concrete!
It takes couple minutes, the drug starts laughing again.
- You what? - Asks a friend.
- Well, prikin, launch complex in Florida is worth 15 billion
dollars!
It takes couple minutes, the drug starts laughing again.
- You what?
- Oh, prikin, launcher Energia burns 5 tons of fuel in
second!
- So what? You laughing at, laughing at, but I do not see anything funny.
- How do nothing to laugh? Hundreds of tons of fuel, millions of tons of concrete,
billions of dollars - and all just for the fact that to get off the ground!
I have the pleasure with one dose!
(C) Robie
Joke #8610 —  
 
0
 
On the morning of 26 October (old style) 1917 Lenin wakes up
huge hangover sitting in a chair in any room. On the floor at his feet
peacefully posypyvaet Dzerzhinsky, in another chair in the corner snoring Trotsky.
Lenin, Dzerzhinsky pushes and asks:

- Phil, do you remember what happened yesterday? I have a memory failure ...
- Volodya, I remember what was said for the revolution, as usual, discussed
plans. Then he drank, then drank more. They sent Levu for vodka, it came with
some sailors. Again they drank, then went into the street. I remember that
fought with the police and, it seems, with the cadets. Then remember to go
sailors on a cruiser and fired from a gun for fun. Then
something stormed. It seems, got into a girls' school, then at
post office, I still marks Natyrov. Then I remember that at some armored car
and got something there the crowd rubbed ... Shit, I think we broke into
meeting the Government in the Winter and all their povygonyali in the neck!
- My God, Phil, what a shame, pozoooorische! It now people in the eye
watch?
Joke #8609 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday looked in your horoscope ...
Health: the stars are smiling to you, Money: the stars are smiling to you, Sex:
stars just die with laughter!
Joke #8608 —  
 
0
 
Did you know that practicing sex at least 52 times a year leads to two
serious illness? The first is the loss of memory, and the second .... I
remember.
Joke #8607 —  
 
0
 
Lenin speaks at the armored car: "Comrades, the revolution, which for so long
Bolsheviks said, finally happened! With eyes bulging? Ourselves
about $% ate, when they learned! "
Joke #8606 —  
 
1
 
Sit two drug addict.
First:
- Put forth a letter from 1 to 10.
Second:
- Wednesday.
First:
- You Th quite swollen? Wednesday is generally somewhere in America!
Joke #8605 —  
 
0
 
Leading auction:
- So, last price - 10 000 Euro! There are no more willing to bargain?
10 000 - again, 10 000 - two, 10 000 - three unique painting brush
brilliant contemporary painter Basil von Poupkina sold vooon
that lady in the fifth row, whose husband, grasps her hand to her mouth!
Joke #8604 —  
 
0
 
Shahid dress - only girded -)
Joke #8603 —  
 
0
 
There are two friends. One other modestly dressed smartly.
Modest and asks: "How do you manage to dress well?"
That answers: "Why, lover of my wealth, but also a dreamer
excellent! If the front is me - calls it "a hole" - and gives
mink coat! If the rear - that "in the hole" - and gives the squirrel, and then
happens on the stairs by the railing supply - then a beaver:) "
"Lucky as you!" - Says modestly - And me, my, is that
oral sex sometimes spoil, and then later from wages for food
subtracts!
Joke #8602 —  
 
0
 
There are two friends.
- You know, I recently divorced!
- And what happened?
- And you would be able to live with a slow-witted, frigid and thick meanie?
- Lord, of course not.
- Well, my wife, too, failed
Joke #8601 —  
 
-1
 
Demand from men, that he was faithful to a single woman, all
is that demand from the tram to carry only one conductor.
Joke #8600 —  
 
0
 
Announcement: Propane sabaki very clever!
Ball! If you're reading this ad, please call home!
VI
Joke #8599 —  
 
0
 
There are three doctors and began to argue who is better.
The first says: "By the time I got a pianist, whose fingers
were broken. So, a month later he was giving a concert for
Queen.
Second: "It's all garbage, that's me again dude has got no legs!" He's me
year later the Olympic champion in cross country skiing has become.
Third: "As I can see, guys, you're just a jerk! Galloped once
cowboy on a horse on the railway tracks. Towards the train. All
left: the cowboy hat and ass horse. So, he is now president
The United States! "
Joke #8598 —  
 
0
 
Tiger and Lion's call in the army. Leo says: - Can run away. You
ok,
and I feel sorry for the mane. Tiger said: - Let's ask someone. Maybe there
not so bad.
They're coming through the woods, they saw a mouse running in a form. - Hey, the mouse, as there is in the army?
- What I told you a mouse, I whack AWOL.
Joke #8597 —  
 
0
 
It is very difficult to leave with the mind after 11 months of dull.
Joke #8596 —  
 
0
 
Comes a woman to the doctor and complains that it is - do something decent,
only very good. And anyone who feels like her and fuck her this place
just falls off. You have it to me, doctor, somewhere transplanted.
Doctor: - You need a surgeon, and I - the therapist. Wait, I'll call a surgeon.
Included surgeon. She tells him all over again and sees that he turns
finger to his temple. Patient: - Doctor, but not here. And then they gave me eggs
all eyes povyshibayut.
Joke #8595 —  
 
0
 
Tarantino took antimaykrosoftovsky film. Kill Bill is.
Joke #8594 —  
 
0
 
The lesson literature:
- Children, which adopted the historic character of the death of his horse?
Little Johnny looked up from a pornographic magazine:
- Catherine the Great!
- How Catherine the Great?
- Would you, Maria Ivanovna, so have - would immediately burst, but she still
tolerated ...
Joke #8593 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio asked:
- Is it true that over the experimental animals being bullied?
Armenian Radio otvechvet:
- And become the place of a hungry student, forced to feed the fatty
animals ...
Joke #8592 —  
 
0
 
Conversation:
- After the election Nemtsov fit to Khakamada!
- Do not Khakamada, and hara-kiri!
Joke #8591 —  
 
0
 
Jewish boy first went to the circus, came home and
admiration rasskazyavet mother:
- Mum, it's all so cool it was! And acrobats and a magician, and
trainer with tigers, and clowns are funny. On the second racer

a motorcycle rode up the side! When I grow up, too, learn to go to
motorcycle and I'll skip this attraction!
Wise mother replied:
- Borenka, a Jew on a motorbike - it is already an attraction, why do we have to
walls go?
Joke #8589 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio asked:
- Why for the same act Khodorkovsky sits in a sailor's silence
and Abramovich - the stadium in London?
Armenian Radio answers:
- Stalin was Kaganovich, and Putin, Abramovich.
Joke #8588 —  
 
0
 
- What is the difference between a fool and a genius?
- Features genius is not limitless.
Joke #8586 —  
 
0
 
- Why in the women's panties has only two holes?
- To push through his legs.
Joke #8585 —  
 
0
 
The doorbell.
- Who's there?
- Jack the Ripper!
- Honey, this is for you!
Joke #8584 —  
 
0
 
Attempt to interview Arnold Schwarzenegger:
- You know, big interview will not come out - I was very tired.
- And that so?
- Three times today I thought ...
Joke #8582 —  
 
0
 
One day a young man approached Bernard Shaw:
- Mr Shaw, - he said - I bet that you do not remember me.
- You win - said Shaw, and withdrew.
Joke #8581 —  
 
0
 
In America, two months after the election is still unknown who will be
president. In Russia - two months before the election is already known.
Joke #8580 —  
 
0
 
A couple of phrases about Estonia:

... Brick slowly drifted downward, slicing through the thick air Tallinn ...

Bermuda Triangle - Embassy of Estonia in the Atlantic Ocean.

Estonia has not participated in any war ... not kept pace
join ...

Elvis is not dead ... He just went to Tallinn!
maza
Joke #8579 —  
 
0
 
- Grandma, I again dreamed of flying!
- So it's you, young reptile, cut me??
Joke #8578 —  
 
0
 
- Spray - is a liquid or foam?
- This is a wish.
Joke #8577 —  
 
0
 
Detachment of armed to the teeth of pigs coming to the village.
The commander asked the guy:
- Story about living in the village have?
Joke #8576 —  
 
1
 
Maria Ivanovna! And Little Johnny foolishly put in the ink, and put out
not.
Joke #8575 —  
 
0
 
A new way to evade the law of the incident butepbpoda invented
amerikosami - amerikosy put the bread on both sides and without oil.
Upyr `
Joke #8574 —  
 
0
 
Nothing adorns a woman, as a 0,5 liter of vodka in the stomach of a man.
Joke #8573 —  
 
0
 
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