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Fakir was drunk and the phallus is not risen.
(c) Jerry Wong
MEN SIMILAR TO ... Coffee. Those of them that the higher class, very tasty,
warm and will not let you sleep through the night.
Announcement: "Shop" Sladkoezhka today closed in connection with
pereprofilizatsiey the store "All for diabetics"
- Dad, and the Pacific Ocean really quiet?
- Vova you that you can not ask a more complicated question?
- Okay ... Then tell me, where the Dead Sea dead?
Should a Jew for several days near the Western Wall and praying. "Lord, help
me, give me money, please, car, apartment. I am poor, live poor.
Help me ."... And so a week goes ... "Lord, you'd think that I
wall talk! "
I remembered, Hakamada - this is not a motorcycle, a synthesizer!
- Passing the Agricultural Club, the Germans rushed to catch the chickens, chase
the girls and cut the pigs!
- And only half an hour later guide barely reassured elderly tourists from
KVN Yankees Grodno
At the table sit: Chinese, Mexican and indigenous Yankees and lead the conversation.
A barman Injun brings them drinks.
- Mie tat tyadzhela work and little money pluchat. Baby lot
- Yes, and I was not sweet. Gorbach afternoon and evening as hiding
illegal alien from the police.
- Yes, your mother, I would have all non-Americans would have long ago sent away
away from America, their mother ...
Here in the conversation vstrevaet Injun-Bar:
- Good! I will help collect your things, sir!
MEN SIMILAR TO ... Places in the parking lot. Good busy, and those that
left - or just for people with disabilities or very small.
- My dear, you are so hardy!
- Yes ...
- Delivers the garbage, please
- Girl! Can this thing ...?
- This is the most - 100 bucks!
- No! Ask, what is your name?
With regard to national television:
Trees in our live sow a long time. Now they have begun to build
house. The most interesting future ... "
- You know, Vanya, still have to have something ... knighthood.
- Yes? What?
- Iron forehead!
- Hello! This apartment Comrade Petrova!
- And your wife can?
- Yes, even for good, take it!
- Do you have something light from clothing?
- Only condoms!
My wife says dreamily to her husband:
- And when you make a lot of money, I'll have a beautiful dress ...
- Aha! One!
At first my wife thought that the children are found in cabbage, and every year
it grew at the dacha. Then in a book we read that they
bring Stork, and began to make large nests on the roof. And then we
explained that it is a duck. Now we have every night, looks under
Occurs guy with a girl.
- It is not you last night dancing on a table in her underwear?
- You seem to have left early.
Yesterday suppressed all their sexual desires, so much so that only the wet
News from the MTS: The new tariff "Come bullshit" - per-second billing,
every second counts twice as much as the previous!
Bill Clinton: "She said my mother, in the mouth without love do not let"
You never think about how, in childhood, boys lick
lips, and girls suck toes?
Commission in an insane asylum, the chief doctor demonstrates Chamber:
- And that the patient feels Duncan MacLeod. Most neglected
case, we have 200 years of cure.
Girl, you're flirting with me, or just do not know how to dance?
Tie for men - an irreplaceable thing. Since it is similar to
arrow pointer, then catches the basic idea:
"Always ready to copulate."
- And if a tie - a butterfly?
- This means that all ideas have long porazletelis.
- What is the curriculum?
- This is a typical tobacco.
Mature couple in bed. He pushes his wife at his side and with amazement
shows on ottopyrevsheesya blanket just in the vicinity "of himself."
My wife, reading a book, idly observes:
- Do not show off. I know it's your stick.
It was the father of three sons: the greedy, cunning, and Let It Ride. And he had three
magic pipe: gold, silver and iron. And then my father died and
managed to unsubscribe, to whom a pipe should possess.
Greedy son immediately grabbed the gold tube. Opened her gate, and went
of the pipe genie oil. And he made a greedy son of an oligarch.
Sly's son did not argue and took the silver tube. Opened her
valve, and the genie out of the pipe gas. And he made the shrewd son
A third son for all to hell. And he said that he, too, cast iron pipe on
fig. I ran the first two sons to break her teeth from each other. And
iron pipe burst. And the genie out of its sewage. And both drowned
sons in the muck. A third drowned, because he and it would be to
Moral: in times of change do not survive better than those who are most
fuss, and those who more than anyone else in fig.
A nun gets into a taxi. Driver budge, asked the nun,
where to go, and at this moment nearly crashes into another car. From that
- Cretin, on the road we must look, not on its blyadischu!
The driver opens the window:
- Kozel, yes, my blyadischa to shit on you, asshole, like ... (looks around and
clearing his throat) ... not you, sister?
The inscription on the bottle - "Add to Favorites"
The inscription on the glass - "Make it your homepage"
Little Johnny and Masha argue:
- You - the biggest idiot, which I have ever seen - screams
- No, you're a real kretinka! - Little Johnny answers.
- Hey, kids - is diverted from the newspaper of their father - do not forget
- Papa, papa, I looked through the telescope at the sun!
-% -0 What eye??
- Close your left eye quickly! You're right that something you see?
- I see ...
- Uffff, thank God ... % -) What do you see?
Rest - a change of occupation. Put aside the pick and take in the hands
The girl finally decided to submit his fellow parents --
complete snob. At dinner the potential groom's mother asks:
- Nicolas, you know, our Ninel plays the piano and Spanish guitar,
composes beautiful poems in the spirit of de Musset, perfectly describes the spirit of
Picasso and is fluent in English, French and
And what are your talents?
- Yes, no. I can only cook, wash, clean and take care
for children of any age ...
New Dirol - watermelon. From bones and skin!
- Everything! On Tuesday, beginning a new life!
- And why not Monday?
- But what on hell, on Monday, life!
- Little Johnny! What is your least favorite school subject?
- Cool magazine!
If the Julia Roberts wash the paint and fill the face, it will be normal
- Woman - a vessel of sin!
- Does not suck-suck ... And what, humanly fuck not?
In the Arctic, there are two polar bears:
- No, well, you predctavlyaesh!? I returned this morning from the hunt, and in
den smoke - well, just a wall is! I looked on the floor asleep some
man .. Leaned toward him, and he raises his head and looking at me,
says: "And you, perhaps, Petrov? .."
Media magazine VokrugSmeha.ru "
It was once Putin Kasyanov:
- Listen, Misha, I do elections soon. Could you, here in Moscow,
little to fight corruption? Well, at least, more just a little ...
Kasyanov thought and thought and said:
- Well, okay, if - quite a bit. But let's at once with "rollback"
Graduate Achinskogo flight school arrives at the duty station. Having
personal weapons - TT pistol, went to the porch, gently on a new weapon
looks and says:
- Ah, here you are, the SU-27!
With the German death - Russian stakashok without a bite.
If the Italian national dish - pizza, then Russian - napitstsa.
(c) Jerry Wong
Ad on dating site in the section about the serious relationship:
"I'm tall, slender, beautiful. I love to jump, roll and laugh.
Need a trampoline, a driver and a clown. "
Comes Little Red Riding Hood to her grandmother, is knocking.
It appears well-fed wolf, picking his teeth with a toothpick.
- And where is my grandmother?
- But it is st. Forest House 13?
- This is the house of my grandmother?
- And what?
- Now here office ...
In Moscow, there were billboards:
! We are together!
- Interestingly, in what it is they place?
He was authoritative urkovoditel ...
In the flower shop may find two friends.
- Good day, sir!
- Good day! Allow me to inquire as to whom you are buying these
- For Madame Jeannette, Monsieur ...
- Oh, I think Madame Jeannette this gorgeous bouquet like it!
- I do not think ... The fact is that today, to bury her ...
Kuchma issued a book in Russian:
"Ukraine - not Russia"
In the original book was called:
"Nezalezhnosti - ne lard"