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Yeltsin came to America to buy Party disposable syringes. Approach it a businessman, and asked: - And would not want you, dear Boris, at the same time buy game condom? - No, thanks, such a party, we already have.
Joke #12822 —  
 
0
 
Contrast blonde - is the one who has white fringe on the forehead, and on pubic hair - black.
Joke #12821 —  
 
0
 
The businessman arrived in Moscow from Latvia. Currency in Latvia at that time just changed, and just entered armor. And he was confident that everything in Russia know about Latvia, came to the restaurant and asked the cloakroom attendant: - Where you can pass the armor? Cloakroom answers: - Lata Deal me, and tie the horse at the entrance.
Joke #12820 —  
 
0
 
Speaking English anecdote, you feel a sense of easy superiority, listening to English anecdote, you feel a sense of mild disability.
Joke #12819 —  
 
-1
 
Sensational results were obtained by scientists at Harvard University in recent large-scale study. They were exactly found that Russian obscenities is not any part of speech, and on the contrary, speech itself is part of the Russian checkmate!
Joke #12818 —  
 
-1
 
How to make the Russia national football team won:

1. Shortly before the match started a rumor about the imminent resignation Koloskova. 2. Day 3-4 before the match players gather for a banquet, and celebrate their 1-2-3 in the championship. 3. Carry matches exclusively in regions with developed vionodeliem (Krasnodar, Stavropol Territory) 4. Before the match to give all narkomovskie 100 g, and Karyaka put gorilka and had many of bacon. 5. Female with them not to take, after the victory - all in a sauna for money sponsors.
Joke #12817 —  
 
0
 
Football news.

While the Estonian team was changing before the match, hosts Russia managed smash it with a score of 4:0.
Joke #12816 —  
 
0
 
- In general, the state must guarantee the inviolability held results of privatization, - said Vladimir Vladimirovich. And he thought: "We must be - we are without peresmatrivaniya outcome of all that we need'll take. "
Joke #12815 —  
 
1
 
Memo to the driver. Once you have given a bribe traffic police, do not forget to give him a bribe for him not to initiate criminal proceedings for bribery.
Joke #12814 —  
 
0
 
All name changes GAI conducted with the sole purpose - to
uncompromising struggle against pests that compromise the previous
"in jokes
Joke #12813 —  
 
0
 
Dear Tartars! What can be latin! Try Latin
write the word "dick".
Joke #12812 —  
 
1
 
- Have you heard? President Putin, it appears, a Tartar!
- Do not be! I know that his father and mother - Russian!
- So what? Marat Safin both parents are purebred Tatars, and his
most still feel Russian.
Joke #12811 —  
 
0
 
As the press secretary of President Vladimir Putin has firmly decided not to
run for a third term, but now with the appointment of successor
not want to hurry up and going to his name before the next
elections Jan. 1, 2088.
Joke #12810 —  
 
0
 
Husband found his pious in bed with a lover:
- What is he doing in our bed?
Wife (blissfully):
- MIRACLES ...
Joke #12809 —  
 
0
 
Guy comes home. Opens the door, but he navtrechu Cat - bald. He
in neponyatkah to his wife. Type what happened to the animals? And she him
says:
- You've yesterday he fell asleep, said: "dear, but not bad to shave you
pussy ... "
Joke #12808 —  
 
0
 
After lengthy bargaining they hit on the knuckles. Then in the face.
Joke #12807 —  
 
0
 
Sentenced to the scaffold:
- Executioner, look at your ax! He is all rusty! Do you want
that I died from blood poisoning?
Lelik.
Joke #12806 —  
 
0
 
What do you call a policeman, who works in the sobering?
- Drugs!
Joke #12805 —  
 
1
 
Neighbor neighbor:
- During that your wife last night so plowshares?
- Yes for the library.
- I went yesterday to the library?
- Yes.
- A Plowshares for that?
- Pants reader to forget.
(C) Robie
Joke #12804 —  
 
0
 
- Dear Comrades! You listen to "For those who would like to know
but too shy to ask. " And now by phone 333-33-33 ask your
stupid questions!
Joke #12803 —  
 
0
 
There is no women with crooked legs, come with ergonomic.
lovingod.host.sk
Joke #12802 —  
 
0
 
They talk to two friends.
- My Bratan birthday was yesterday. He gave the ship.
- Wow! And he was going to do with it?
- Like what? Smoked yesterday.
Joke #12800 —  
 
0
 
A woman comes to the doctor and says:
- Doctor, I have a gap in the left shoulder.
- Now let's see undress.
A woman removes the upper part of the clothes, but the doctor says to her:
- No, undress completely.
- But doctor, I have a gap in the shoulder.
- Look, I'm a doctor, so undress completely and
turn your back on me.
Woman meets the requirement of doctor, he takes off pants and sharply
foresters plant it behind my count 7 cm in diameter. She cries out in pain,
and the doctor says to her:
- That's what the gap! And the fact that you have in the shoulder - is stretching!
Joke #12799 —  
 
1
 
Very bad sign - to be superstitious.
Joke #12798 —  
 
1
 
When a man and woman marry, they become one unified
man. Only now it is unclear how exactly one of them.
Joke #12797 —  
 
0
 
Question:
Why blew a wolf, while pigs roof was blown?
Fisha
Joke #12796 —  
 
-1
 
To stock up birch juice for the whole winter, Pope Carlo entire fall gave
Pinocchio diuretic.
Joke #12795 —  
 
0
 
In Moscow, opening a new business center.
Rides Commission. Magnificent skyscraper.
The main entrance garden stones.
All in ecstasy.
Go into the hall. Beauty. Mats, engraving, Bansal, ikebana.
All in ecstasy.
Enter the elevator. Mirrors. Floor call vote.
All in ecstasy.
Go into the first office.
Surprised:
- And what the ceilings are so low?
- So after all the Japanese draft.
(C) Robie
Joke #12794 —  
 
0
 
From this morning's news on TV:
"Bush is going to change Pauelsa to Condoleezza Rice. It is hard to call it
dark horse, but ... "
Then the announcer went on an uncertain tone, thinking, and not said whether he
something wrong.
Joke #12793 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the transfer of several islands to China and discussed the transfer of
Japan's two Kuril Islands are invited to perform a second
verse of the hymn of Russia was amended to read:

From the southern seas to the polar region
Ready to sell forests and fields
Khabarovsk - Chinese! Kuriles - Japanese!
We have a lot of you, dear land
Joke #12792 —  
 
0
 
Russia agreed to give Japan Khakamada. Sorry, Habomai.
Joke #12791 —  
 
0
 
After the defeat team from Russia against Estonia has finally happened
long-awaited change in the leadership of Russia's football. As the
known, head of Russia's Football Union Vyacheslav Koloskov after
consultation with the UEFA president has dismissed Russia Vladimir
Putin.
Joke #12790 —  
 
0
 
Audit of Russia's soccer team showed that
general sponsor of the team for the past ten years has been
Patriotic Association masochists.
www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #12789 —  
 
0
 
I telephoned Mr. Khodorkovsky, 22 minutes, asked for forgiveness. I told him "No".
It was my wife, 35 minutes, explaining that such a wheel. Why is it?
Telephoned Fradkov, 3 minutes, said that he was late. He inserted a piston.
Telephoned Mr Berezovsky, 6 minutes, got the wrong number. I gave him a phone Boris
Nikolaich.
Again called Khodorkovsky, 18 minutes, silent. I gave him a phone Boris
Abramich.
Called again Fradkov, 8 minutes, asking not to buy any thing on the road.
He asked for cookies. Why?
Sel battery, 50 minutes, no one called. He asked me to bring security
charger.
I telephoned Mr Abramovich, 45 minutes, talked about a football match. It must be the same --
1:0!
I telephoned the head protection, 11 minutes, asking when the overlap
Rublyovka. Said, let start.
Called again Abramovich, 45 minutes, talked about the second half. 2:1 ...
Again called security chief, 24 minutes, Rublevka blocked. Go?
Telephoned Boris Nikolayevich, 57 minutes, asked nafig I gave his phone
Berezovsky? He said that the wrong number.

Tariff plan "President for life".
MTS. People talk. I run.
Joke #12788 —  
 
0
 
Why does a woman does not go to the rally by conviction or caution?
Mistaken! It simply does not WHAT !!!!!
Joke #12787 —  
 
0
 
The representative of the Ministry of Interior of Russia said that the security forces will not
interfere Maskhadov and Shamil Basayev, if they want to
treatment in a French military hospital.
Joke #12786 —  
 
0
 
Accepted a job bill-board for display ads
employment bill-board.
Joke #12785 —  
 
0
 
girl like a boomerang, if properly throw - sure to come back.
PS also applies to guys.
Joke #12784 —  
 
0
 
Russian with a hangover is calling the Frenchman a friend:
- Jean, you'll be third?
- With pleasure, and that your wife has long complained that you are alone no longer
cope.
(c) Gregory Yarok
Joke #12783 —  
 
0
 
- Girl, you have a postcard "Beloved mother-", with the wish - that you
died! But so beautifully so verses ...
Joke #12782 —  
 
0
 
There are two others:
- GLISY you?
- Pork, I!
Joke #12781 —  
 
0
 
For sale domestic superpoglotitel fat, meat, sausages and fish.
Nikname ball.

Joke #12780 —  
 
2
 
They come one day at the Mercedes and the driver of the new Russian Zaporozhets.
The driver of constipation asks:
- Here's how you ride well, breaking all the rules of the road, and you even have
what?
- There you see that dude in a striped cap with a stick in his hand?
- I see!
- And I do not see!
Joke #12779 —  
 
0
 
DOBDD - valiant guardians of Roads and money, valorous milker to
Road ...
It seems that our long-suffering GAI renamed in such names
that more people laughed, but at the same time and easily parted with
money ...
Joke #12778 —  
 
0
 
Were Gaytsy, Gibbons will now Dobbermany.
Igor.
Joke #12777 —  
 
0
 
Maybe this: DOBDD - Voluntary Give me the money!
Joke #12776 —  
 
0
 
GIBDD renamed DOeBDD
Joke #12775 —  
 
0
 
We conduct our report from the football match teams from Russia and Estonia.
Thus, the 10-minute match on the field appears against Estonia. Score on
remains 0:0.
Joke #12774 —  
 
0
 
A man wakes up at three o'clock, and feeling no matter causes
doctor. The doctor arrives, examine it carefully and with a gesture of despair
says:
- Please Call for all their children, lawyer and notary.
- Everything is so bad, doctor? I'm going to die?
- No, I just do not want to be the only asshole, which
God knows why raise the bed at 3 o'clock!
Joke #12773 —  
 
0
 
The judge turns to the audience present:
- Silence! I warn you that if someone once say "Down with the judge,
Who went into the street.
After a while, a voice rings out: "Down with the judge!"
Judge:
- The defendant, you can not.
Joke #12772 —  
 
0
 
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