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Not come to mind as a staple neighbor? Then here you
Please, 16 ready-made methods.

1. Of course, you look like a man, but this is just random
coincidence.
2. You were always such a fool, or just today something to celebrate?
3. On that day, when handing out brains, you probably forgot my pot?
4. I would have drove you boot in the face, but I will not, but then you still on this
only become more beautiful.
5. In your figure is at least one advantage - it is not so
terrible as your mug.
6. Um - not everything in this life. As for you, it is generally
nothing.
7. When assholes start to fly, you become a squadron commander.
8. If I had a face like yours, I would have sued the
parents.
9. Keep talking, maybe one day you finally say at least one
clever word.
10. Do you love nature, you say? And this is after all, that it with you
done?
11. You better not contemplate, and then more money to change the brain.
12. You cannot proof that one can live without a brain.
13. If stupidity could be measured, you could serve as a benchmark.
14. On one I see! You that have agreed to release from the zoo?
15. All people have the right to be stupid, but you abuse it.
16. You're such an asshole, that if the tender was held asshole, you would take
it in second place. Second - because the asshole.
Joke #13075 —  
 
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Late in the evening, the conversation of her neighbors:
- Listen, skalochku not lend?
- Yes, some there, waiting for his own.
Joke #13074 —  
 
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Just two medals won Family Aniskin after the birth of the thirteenth
child. She - "Mother-heroine", he - "Husband-goat".
(C) Robie
Joke #13073 —  
 
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- Do you really think that I am a promising model for work?
- Yes, in Photoshop.
Joke #13072 —  
 
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Lombardy poplar
topomindalny fagot
Joke #13071 —  
 
0
 
Bakery offers Buble, vatruhi, pryanischa, batonischa and krendelischi.
Hadoelo engage in dribs and drabs.
Joke #13070 —  
 
0
 
Advertisement:
"Missing mother-in-law. I went for a beer and never returned. Who found please return
beer.
Joke #13069 —  
 
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- And in that world that bad?
- No one complained ...
Joke #13068 —  
 
0
 
How did you find out a Scottish scientist, Loch Ness is not named in
honor of the famous monster, and in honor of the first tourist, who was
monster believed.
Joke #13067 —  
 
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Autumn in the park on the track lies dystrophy and cries:
- All leaves are like leaves, and this as an iron ...
www.nikvel.ru
Joke #13066 —  
 
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- What did the nude Venus de Milo sculptor, who sculpted it?
- Only no hands!
Joke #13065 —  
 
0
 
- What is a rubber T-shirts for you, boobies!
- It gandbolki. Shirts was not ...
Joke #13064 —  
 
0
 
Director Assistant:
- You whom I brought, durilo?
- Well, said!
- So we also need a girl who spit below the belt, not your chest!
Joke #13063 —  
 
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The inscription on the gate: "The dog - a friend! But not everyone! "
Joke #13062 —  
 
0
 
According to new data historians, Hercules cleaning the Augean stables is not, he just
transferred them to Russia, where they happily lost.
Joke #13061 —  
 
0
 
New Travel Agents: to replace the cheap last minute deals vouchers come vouchers
"exploding" - even cheaper.
Joke #13060 —  
 
0
 
All men are the same, only the salary they have different.
Joke #13059 —  
 
0
 
In Moscow, three Georgians detained on suspicion of preparing
demographic explosion.
Joke #13058 —  
 
0
 
Blonde in the photo studio in front of the lens. Naked, legs behind head, all
places vibrator.
- Tell me, you're sure to need a passport just such a view?
Joke #13057 —  
 
0
 
Announcement on the doors of the military office:
"In connection with recent terrorist attacks and the need
strengthening the country's defense, all previously considered data bribes
INVALID!
Joke #13056 —  
 
0
 
Ask a lady how old she is indecent. There are more
simple and reliable way. Take a woman's hand and make her
whirl it round his waist 20. Immediately make her close
eyes, pull the hand and stand on one leg. Consider a second that it
will stand until the fall. Then shake off its dirt and not giving her
recover let squats 25 times. Measure her pulse. Do not let her
withdraw. Let otozhmetsya from the floor he possibly can. You just bounce
close, and say, "Come on, come on. Well, one more time." Then let him get up, feet
together, palms to get it to the ground. Lock 15 seconds. Then
need to multiply (seconds standing on one leg, on the pulse after
sit-ups, the number of push-ups, etc.) and divide it all on here
Measured as the length of legs and breast volume. The result will be
age. If it suits you, as well as the measured leg length and volume
breast, presented by the girl flowers and invite her out. And then as
succeed.
Joke #13055 —  
 
0
 
A classic work - is something that everyone wants to read, but no
not want to read.
Joke #13054 —  
 
0
 
- You know, I was such a fool when I married you!
- Honey, then I was so in love that just did not notice.
Joke #13053 —  
 
0
 
A woman returns home on Saturday night - in the room a mess, on
kitchen mess, next to the bathroom - a mountain of dirty laundry, and her husband quietly
itself lies on the sofa with a bottle of "Klin" in hand and watch soccer on the
box. Wife let's scream:
- I now you'll make is that I really do not want to do!
Male, joyfully:
- Oh You want to give me a blowjob?
Joke #13052 —  
 
0
 
Take a good look at the world around you, and you'll be surprised by God
creativity.
Take a good look at the dining table, and you'll be amazed of God
foresight.
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you will see that God and
a sense of humor is.
Joke #13051 —  
 
0
 
In Chechnya, an agreement was reached with the illegal armed
gangs: they are now and the legitimate armed forces
will be ruled strictly on the queue.
Joke #13050 —  
 
0
 
- Girl! Are not you afraid so late one back home?
- Even as I'm afraid! Suddenly someone will stop, and I am today without a passport, and
even without the permission of the arms!
Joke #13049 —  
 
0
 
It was the guy at the sunset on the river bank and found a round luminous
stone. He took it in his hands and was about to quit, to see how he
will jump and circles on the water to give, when suddenly the stone says:
- Do not throw me into the river, and ask any better than your desire to perform!
The man was surprised, but then I realized its a freebie and says:
- I wish that I had a lot of friends!
Stone says:
- It is possible, but you will soon betray them, and they turn away from you ...
- Then do not. I wish that I had a real love!
- It is also possible, but you'll be torturing his favorite, and it will be you
change ...
- Okay, can do without it. I want to give me the money!
- And it can, but you immediately start to throw them all quickly
lose ...
- Here's a pancake! Well, then I want for myself at least justice!
- Justice? Ok! Now you will never be neither friends nor
love and no money. And it is fair that it does not you love me
found here ...
I was a peasant in the hands of an empty half-liter.
Joke #13048 —  
 
0
 
This blonde thinks the place about which you think!
Lelik.
Joke #13047 —  
 
0
 
- Abramovich, is doing what your son is in America?
- He writes that the banks.
- It's who he is: a banker, a gangster or Dishwasher?
Joke #13046 —  
 
0
 
Included in the hardware store buyer:
- Do you have nails?
- Somewhere were ... somewhere ... were
- Could you be quick?
- Gdetobyligdetobyligdetobyli ...
Joke #13045 —  
 
0
 
- Why do all American films to be a Negro?
- Because without them the film would not color.
Joke #13044 —  
 
0
 
- Ambulance in Estonian!
- How's that?
- Time heals.
Joke #13043 —  
 
0
 
There is offset by the product of Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina". Student a long time tediously tells about the life of Vronsky. Teacher tired to listen. - About the hero of the novel you've told me enough. Now tell me about the girl. Student quickened. - Heroin - a strong thing. Why you ask?
Joke #12839 —  
 
0
 
The Queen of Spades "in contemporary performance. Hermann is finally realized that full of happiness, he needs three cards: - Flash-card, SIM-card and SMART-card.
Joke #12838 —  
 
0
 
- And what a waltz? - It Estonian rap!
Joke #12837 —  
 
0
 
Well, why do anal and oral sex, but my wife trite and moral?
Joke #12836 —  
 
0
 
Tongue twister in a new way:

It was Sasha on the highway and sucked shustro.
Joke #12835 —  
 
0
 
"Turn over the currency, bastards!"

We broadcast a summary of the speech of President Putin to businessmen and investors.
Joke #12834 —  
 
0
 
I have a girlfriend - conductor ... This is awful! We must all night rocking bed. Only stops - she gets up and toilet on the key locks ...
Joke #12833 —  
 
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I went up to Gandalf Aragorn, and he inquired: - About the heir Isildur! Wherefore bracing your eyes, why are you dressed in all black, and what a lute is in your hands? Or you become minstrels Darkness? - You know, BG, - said Choi - and snack still needed.
Joke #12832 —  
 
0
 
- I have kids on New Year's baby champagne bought. So these bonehead drank rasprobovat, children tried cigarettes, Children of vodka, women raised children! This morning it was necessary for children beer run!
Joke #12831 —  
 
0
 
The men - a herd of gross, sweaty, hairy animals, in which one mind ... futbooool!
Joke #12830 —  
 
0
 
New bestsellers and literature:

Trilogy II Aroyan "How to become popular for 1 min. 22 sec. Part 1: Pink blouse, boobs and a microphone "
Joke #12829 —  
 
0
 
I repeat once again: the election of governors is not canceled! Just select them I will.
Joke #12828 —  
 
0
 
Conversation two third-year at the beginning of the academic year: - Oh, no pretty girls in the first year is not visible .. ( - Have you seen the competition this year? They are smart ...
Joke #12827 —  
 
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Secretary-manager, an accountant is a new employee: - And this - my Nina, an accountant with a capital "B". Offended accountant did not remain in debt: - And you, Jana, secretary with a capital "C" and the manager with a capital "M".
Joke #12826 —  
 
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After a two-week coma, Arafat finally opens his eyes and sees sitting next to the bed a woman in paranzhe. "Who is it?" - Asked Arafat doctor bending over him. Doctor: "This comrade, Suha, Your Honor."

"No luck in my death, lucky in love" - he thought Arafat.
Joke #12825 —  
 
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At the bedside of the dying Arafat sitting wet with tears, Suha. The fourth time for today Arafat emerges from coma ... c difficulty opens eyes ... Arafat: Water, Suha, water ...! Suha: (carefully adjusting hoses and bursting into tears) How much can repeat Jasiek first codes of the Swiss bank ...
Joke #12824 —  
 
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Floating ship, sailing for a long, no women, in short, the sailors took to themselves, as a substitute, a goat. Hand over the money for feeding, cleaning of it. Suddenly, one sailor take longer. A week does not give up another third. Boatswain its causes: - Why not give up the goat? - I will not surrender. - Why, I ask you? - It's all of you to her as a prostitute to go. And we have it - feelings.
Joke #12823 —  
 
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