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I love to watch men's tennis and listening to female.
Joke #13658 —  
 
0
 
My father bought a computer, pinned back. Son runs:
- Dad, Dad, can I look in the Internet pornography?
- Ohrenel, you're still small.
- Well, I just childish.
Gorby
Joke #13657 —  
 
0
 
There are shootings of the film. Excited by the director yells asisstentam:
- Why is garbage in the frame?!
The policeman, who was invited for the protection of sites, backed up with embarrassment
words:
- Excuse me, I'm going ...
Joke #13656 —  
 
0
 
It is well, where we do not. You okay? Then we go to you!
Joke #13655 —  
 
0
 
On the first day God created the earth ... On the sixth day God created man,
top nature. On the seventh day, God got tired and decided to rest. Therefore
these people came undone.
Joke #13654 —  
 
0
 
- Do you play on Forex `e?
- No, this is as risky as playing without a Durex `..
Joke #13653 —  
 
0
 
When Vladimir Putin was a kid, he wanted to buy a mountain skiing.
Conventional skis were at that time very fragile, and broke one
stroke edge of his hand.
Joke #13652 —  
 
0
 
After Yanukovych becomes president of Ukraine, the school will
Two new subject matter: Fenia and concepts.
Joke #13651 —  
 
0
 
The phrase "for me are deeds" in the mouth of Yanukovich becomes
triple meaning:)
Joke #13650 —  
 
0
 
After the election of the President of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych and his decision
decided to rename the name of the country. The new name "URKAina.
Joke #13649 —  
 
0
 
Money does not smell. But as the smell of those who do not!
Joke #13648 —  
 
0
 
Emergency doctor completes a survey of the patient, collects his
suitcase and said:
- Yes, my dear sir, your bad case ...
- What, Doctor, I will go to heaven?
- Well, this is unlikely ...
- Do you think in hell?
- Worst ...
- Where do much worse?
- You now go to the free hospital.
Joke #13647 —  
 
0
 
- How much is this tape?
- 35 y. e.
- What else to have. e?
- Conditional unit. Now prices are measured.
- Ah-ah! Okay. And there is the price?
- 900 rubles.
- And how much will it in the y-Yah?
- This product is not in-evy.
- And that the y-evy?
- That is the y-evy.
- Yes, looks really u evato.
- But this, the firm in-Evin, not cocoa-then-epletstvo.
- Okay so and be Zaw-yachte it to me.
- Good luck! One hundred in-ev you in a wheelbarrow!
- And you have more-ev on the snout! In short, a successful trade.
www.ostrie.ru
Joke #13646 —  
 
0
 
I sent her stepmother stepdaughter of snowdrops.
And this fool all shed corpses heaped!
Joke #13645 —  
 
0
 
Sex on Friday - it was good!
Signed - Robinson Crusoe.
Joke #13644 —  
 
0
 
Standard acceleration in a tavern in liters of beer.
0l - both boys - tavern road, take only beer and pistachios! Waiter
- A mug of beer and pistachios! ... - As no pistachios?! and crackers, too
No?! what to beer? shrimp?! then only beer ... "
1L - "a fig with him ... Waiter! Even a glass of beer and drag here Shrimp
her! "
2n - "Waiter! 50 gramchikov everyone! ... The whole bottle?! Why?" We're
not going to get drunk ... Snack?! Even then - we have a beer! "
4.05l - Offisyant! Auu! Pull ahead, IR, his bottle here ... Oh, and
zakusochki some Ik ... And what do you have? Ah, here it is .. this
is ... By the way, and crocodile you how to cook? "
6.55l - "Dear, what you have there in the bar something else to eat?"
Joke #13643 —  
 
0
 
Night Watch. Saga of "Nescafe".
Joke #13641 —  
 
0
 
Americans, remember: that Ivan - not the last!
Joke #13431 —  
 
0
 
Stormy debate in the U.S. Senate over the future of Iraq. Republican Senator says: - We must give Iraq our Constitution, because it has more than 200 years works! - The more that we do not use it - otvechaet Democratic senator.
Joke #13430 —  
 
0
 
Two in a restaurant: - Here, Yeltsin, as well! That same bastard! That scoundrel! The old fool! - What you attack something on Yeltsin? He's no longer president, left, power gave Putin ... - For this and curse ...
Joke #13429 —  
 
0
 
Well, that Jesus Christ was crucified, not hanged. And the fact that the population of Russia is now around here with gold gallows on their necks ...
Joke #13428 —  
 
-1
 
- Abramovich, hello! What happened to you? Previously, you were small fat, bald, bespectacled, and now he was tall, thin, without glasses, and you have hair growing back. - I'm not Abramovich! - Well you give! So you and the name changed?
Joke #13427 —  
 
0
 
At school. 1-st class.

- Little Johnny, go out to the board and thought, please, how many will be five plus five! Little Johnny comes out and, bending his fingers on his hands, begins to count: - One, two, three ... - Oh no, Little Johnny, so do not go! Come zasun hands in his trouser pockets and Consider again! How much is 5 +5? Little Johnny puts his hands in his pockets and after a pause says: - Eleven!
Joke #13426 —  
 
0
 
My wife says her husband, an alcoholic: - How did you get. Every evening a drunk, not to bring money home. You went to the cemetery, looked at how many people your age died from vodka. The next day he went in the morning and returned in the evening drunk. - And where were you? - I walked all the cemetery, reading the inscription on the ribbon wreaths: FROM Tiffany's, from his wife, from neighbors, friends ... The vodka nobody died.
Joke #13425 —  
 
0
 
Every woman has a secret. Vaginal.
Joke #13424 —  
 
0
 
There are two vampires. The first vampire says: - And today I went to a diabetic! Children at home sweetly indulge.

Felix Dream alexboo@hotmail.com
Joke #13423 —  
 
0
 
If there was a great painter Dali was alive, he would certainly have written Fili portrait in the form of a blue plywood with pink tits.
Joke #13422 —  
 
0
 
- You know how to decipher the Liberal Democratic Party? - No. - Love for Money P.zdet about Russia. www.xaxaxa.ru
Joke #13421 —  
 
0
 
Physics polittehnikuma city Zaputina invented ultrasensitive detector fission particles. During tests in the toilets of the Duma, he with a high degree probability distinguish what was carried away by water, from what remained and went to the hall fervently support.
Joke #13420 —  
 
0
 
President Vladimir Putin launched a new initiative: "I believe that head of state should be elected head of state to submit head of state. "
Joke #13419 —  
 
0
 
New Jewish wine IZYABELLA.
Joke #13417 —  
 
0
 
- Honey, this villain abused you? - Stop it, Dad. For his lousy 50 bucks, I just undressed! Lelik.
Joke #13416 —  
 
0
 
Early morning. Ministry of Culture. Secretary Svetochka comes to work. Satisfied, beautiful and happy. Everyone smiles. Says like its all good. Suddenly the bell rings. Svetochka takes the receiver: - Hello? ... no ... no ... you made a mistake ... She hangs up. And suddenly drops into a chair, throw up their hands and begins to loudly so wail, weep, tear his hair and a sprinkling of tears. All around in bewilderment. Tormoshat her calm. Ask: "What happened ?!?!?!?" Svetochka, through her sobs squeezes out a call for word: - There ... he ... And sobs again. It calmed her down and ask: - WHAT HAPPENED, THE WORLD!! Ta, sob again, said: - I just called ... and asked "Hello, this laundry ?"... All my life waiting for this question!
Joke #13415 —  
 
0
 
Geneticists for the sake of the experiment introduced gene seals marine turtles. Now in the spring seals bury their eggs in the sand.
Joke #13414 —  
 
0
 
Conversation between two friends. - Hey, how did you get acquainted with girls? Every day I see you with a new girl, but I do not know how to get acquainted! - Yes, here is a simple way: buy two tickets at the last session in the theater and walking down the street, look at people passing by. If a girl with shopping bags or there in a hurry, not to such an approach. And if you go slowly and without bags hence no one to hurry up to her and pushes the version that Mol another wanted to go to the movies, he did not come, the ticket is lost, not be a company. If you agree, in the lobby gave her ice cream enter the room, vedesh to the most recent series. Once breaker light, hug her arm around her waist and her hands giving x% th. - Hey, this is why? - Well I do not know ... It's like something in common.
Joke #13413 —  
 
0
 
In honor of the day physics Omsk renamed the V-to-Ampersk!
Joke #13412 —  
 
0
 
Your election official in Belarus At the referendum held yesterday, only 87% of voters correctly responded to the question "Can move out Lukashenko a third term?"
Joke #13411 —  
 
0
 
Electoral byullyuten Belarusian referendum

Leave it to President Lukashenko a third term? Choose one of the answers:

- Hai ostaetsya - Nehaj ostaetsya.
Joke #13410 —  
 
0
 
We have someone that protects, that it has. Here, for example, by law, the president must uphold the Constitution ...
Joke #13409 —  
 
0
 
The young captain takes the goods on board. - What is that? - Machinery. - And this? - Lumber. - And here? - Here the animal feed. - Are you ohreneli, then people have nowhere to turn, and you kiss under the stern animals taken!
Joke #13407 —  
 
0
 
Bush complained CIA chief: - It is said that Kennedy had Marilyn Monroe, Clinton - Monica Lewinsky ... I've got who? - Do you, Mr. President, just three - tells him the chief of the CIA. - Who? - Baltic states, Ukraine and Georgia.
Joke #13406 —  
 
0
 
Actual customer shares the firm Reebok "Whether in the form" is Ministry of Defense. DoCToR
Joke #13405 —  
 
0
 
All the problems in Russia - from the fact that those who have money - ZAZHRALIS, and those who do not - OBORZELI.
Joke #13404 —  
 
0
 
At the time of privatization in Russia held a referendum with the question: "What would you have chosen - by half or whole? " 99,9% of the population chose the latter. As a result, 0.1% of those who now oligarchs have received from the State in half, and the rest - on whole ruble.
Joke #13403 —  
 
0
 
- Will Russia totalitarianism? - No, but it will be a strengthening of democracy, that will not find it!
Joke #13402 —  
 
0
 
In Russia, the twin evils: GDP and roads.
Joke #13401 —  
 
0
 
- Have you heard? Putin Khodorkovsky was sentenced to life ... - Conclusion?! - To life trial! www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #13400 —  
 
0
 
- Vladimir Putin, Luzhkov met all other cities of Moscow drive ... - Bullshit: go back to Peter, worked with Matvienko. (c) www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #13399 —  
 
0
 
Man on dopoge in the toilet: "I'll go podepzhu domestic ppoizvoditelya ..."
Joke #13397 —  
 
0
 
Ha championship mipa on fights without Addresses> ybeditelnyyu pobedy odepzhal ... snaypep.
Joke #13396 —  
 
0
 
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