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A town square is a Jew behind it minces mongrel.
To the Jew sent to the police: "Mr. Jew, take the dog on
leash.
The Jew as not to hear.
- Take the dog on a leash or pay fine!
Zero attention.
- So? Pay your fine!
- For that fine? It's not my dog!
- But she's running for you!
- Well, so what? You, too, for me running, but you're not my dog!
Joke #14608 —  
 
0
 
As researchers have found creative Turgenev, in the original
version of his famous works Gerasim Mumu not drowned, and gave her
sniff my leg wrappings.
Joke #14607 —  
 
0
 
"I will add to the country's GDP by 2 times for his second term. Well, if you want to
3 times ... "
Joke #14606 —  
 
0
 
Today at a meeting of the Government of Prime Minister M. Fradkov said
that way, Russia needs to improve the quality. Expected
next week, after the working group meeting, Prime Minister will make a
statement about fools.
ElCapitano
Joke #14605 —  
 
0
 
Change engl. football club in the chorus. able in French. or port. club.
Monaco does not offer. Surcharge SLE or shares of Yukos. Call London
1234567 and ask for Roma.
Joke #14604 —  
 
0
 
"Three heroes" - supporting our hockey-giant
- Yes-ah, a beer and a hockey!
Joke #14603 —  
 
0
 
Amazing radio station Ekho Moskvy. It is said that there is no
freedom of speech. Bluntly, saying on the air.
Joke #14602 —  
 
0
 
A child asks her father: "Dad, why on the arms of Russia-headed
eagle?
The father replies: "... probably because that rule the country freaks.
Joke #14601 —  
 
0
 
- What would be correct: "Writing an obligation" or "Commit"?
- Right not to give any commitments.
Joke #14600 —  
 
0
 
How to organize himself quartet? He should only say: check
payment
taxes from the symphony orchestra. A donkey, goat, bear and monkey until
not arrest.
Joke #14599 —  
 
0
 
Petrosyan and Stepanenko divorced.
At the request of the parties by their maiden names: Stepanian and Petrosenko.
Joke #14598 —  
 
0
 
Recording on the answering machine:
"Hello, this is the devil. What the hell do you want?"
Joke #14597 —  
 
0
 
Pharmaceutical vials - a universal reusable glass containers. First
they buy drugs, then rent analysis, and then again buy
medicine ...
Joke #14596 —  
 
0
 
There are two friends:
- And why did not you at work?
- I am on sick leave, I have a work injury.
- Well, you give! How can there be an accident at work in office
employee?
- Pulled muscles of the jaw when yawning.
(C) Robie
Joke #14595 —  
 
0
 
Student after dam exam:
- Well, the formula, bitch, wait! I remember you!
Joke #14594 —  
 
0
 
- What place in your life is sex?
- Prize!
Joke #14593 —  
 
0
 
Grandfather and grandmother decided for the first time in many years to have sex.
Unfortunately, my grandfather did not work.
Grandmother comforted him:
- Do not worry, Grandpa, that's okay, most importantly, they saw again.
Joke #14592 —  
 
0
 
All American television stations showed pictures of abused Iraqi
prisoners. The U.S. command expected in such a way to recharge
number of volunteers to send to Iraq.
Joke #14591 —  
 
0
 
Airfield.
- Land, land! I board the 37, go to the emergency landing! Free
strip!
- And who of me to Nienke running? The airfield does not accept!
- Sveta, stop joking, my fuel is running out!
- I told you I jump, here and jump!
Joke #14590 —  
 
0
 
Most bystrozahodyaschy in passenger transport - a member of the subway car
grandmother, which sees only empty seat.
Joke #14589 —  
 
0
 
- Do you have a lot of pets?
- No, a husband!
Joke #14588 —  
 
0
 
The two met on the street.
First:
- Where you work?
Second:
- The police, traffic police officers, already promoted to senior
lieutenant.
First:
- How long have you work?
The second looks at his watch and says:
- With nine ...
Joke #14587 —  
 
0
 
Teacher:
- Your son is weak in geography!
- It does not matter. With our income does not go far.
Joke #14586 —  
 
0
 
Restaurant. To the customer the waiter approaches with a fully zabintovanoy
hand:
(D) - What, sir?
(K) - Sorry, but what you have in hand?
(D) - You know, with my hand, unfortunately, nothing. But there is a
bekonchikom, cucumbers, tomatoes!
Joke #14585 —  
 
0
 
ITAR-TASS. 09/05/2004. Today at 5.00 Moscow time occurred
ignition of the Moscow Kremlin. Fire was awarded the highest category
complexity. In place of fire nemedelnno left 52 Fire Brigade
of MOE. Despite the efforts of firefighters, the Kremlin has burned almost
completely. In his interview with the journalists on the spot fire, Mayor
Moscow, Yuri Luzhkov said that the fire reportedly occurred due
short circuit in wiring. The mayor added that he had long
warned federal authorities about the deplorable state of the Kremlin and demanded
transfer facility for fires Ring motorway. But all
Luzhkov's request he was told that the transfer of the Kremlin - and not for the Ring, and
St. Petersburg - is not scheduled until 2008. Now, as a result
sthiynogo disaster, noted with satisfaction EDI, the problem is resolved
itself. In place of the Kremlin has already decided to build the biggest in Europe
business center with a shopping complex, water park and an underground parking.
Joke #14584 —  
 
0
 
To be the progeny of people marry. Animals - divorce.
Joke #14583 —  
 
0
 
Answer Muslims to Christians around the world: the film "The Passion of the Christ" now
translation Goblin.
Joke #14581 —  
 
0
 
Catherine II read somewhere about the Karaites, but never realized
Jewish or not, and told Prince Potemkin to clarify this issue. Prince
summoned the chief rabbi and asked him sternly Like this: "Well, then answer,
heathen, Karaite Jews or not? "-" Jews, Jews, your excellency, only
not Talmudists. "What Potemkin and returned to report:" It turned out, your
Majesty, they are also Jews, but not so mudisty ... "

Taken from the forum http://www.forum.msk.ru/files/guestbook
Joke #14580 —  
 
0
 
- As of the Cossacks to Mercedes?
- Put the suitcase in the trunk with money!
Joke #14579 —  
 
0
 
There is protection of the candidate on taking alcohol with the help of enemas. Well
type arguments - dose is substantially less zakus not need to suck up
efficient, no odor, etc. In short, the advanced method. Well, there arises
an opponent and asks the question: all types in this method is good, but this
question - as, say, with this method Bukhanov drink brotherhood?
- And that's a topic for my doctoral dissertation.
Joke #14578 —  
 
0
 
Comes in. man in a grocery store and asked the saleswoman:
- Do you have soft bread?
- Nahal!
Joke #14577 —  
 
0
 
There are two friends.
One asks:
- You know what distinguishes the head from her husband?
- No! - Meets the second.
- Chief knows his deputy, and her husband - no!
Joke #14576 —  
 
0
 
Contest political songs to the anniversary of the Chernobyl accident:
3 place - Okudzhava song "Here the birds are singing, the trees do not grow ..."
2 nd place - A. Pugacheva "Fly away a cloud, fly away ..."
1 st place - V. Leontiev "All run, run, and he shines them all running,
run, and it burns ... "
Joke #14575 —  
 
0
 
There are two friends. One other complains:
- Imagine, me for one week, four times in the ass moved,
I can not guess why?
The second responds:
- And I know why.
- Why?
- Because you ride like a homosexual!
Joke #14574 —  
 
0
 
Want to gather the most complete and best in the world collection of exquisite
Russian mat? Stroll through the White House and ask your
officials, as flows reform government.
Joke #14573 —  
 
0
 
Refining the Interior Ministry, warning shot is up now
fourth sequence shot.
A. Dautov
Joke #14572 —  
 
0
 
Dropouts pretender contest "Miss Bust" had an alternative show
- "Comrade Chest.
A. Dautov
Joke #14571 —  
 
0
 
At the table:
- I do not pour! Today I drove.
- And I pour! I have today without a rudder!
Joke #14570 —  
 
0
 
- What is the strengthening of the militia?
- This is when the cops instead of sleeping at home, do it at work.
Joke #14569 —  
 
0
 
Nature abhors a vacuum. The only exception - the human
head: what it is empty, the less committed to filling.
Joke #14568 —  
 
0
 
There are two blondes:
- You Th yesterday called me a fool?
- Oh, sorry, I did not know that it is a secret.
Joke #14567 —  
 
0
 
- Siberian tiger, their only 30! Please, transfer money
in Wildlife Fund.
- Ussuri tigers are left already 29! We will kill one
every day until you begin to transfer the money to the Fund wild
Nature!
Joke #14566 —  
 
0
 
64% of people hate the rich, suggesting the hope of remaining
rich.
A. Dautov
Joke #14564 —  
 
0
 
All the flavors of the world in the same room! Visit the airport toilets
"Sheremetyevo"!
A. Dautov
Joke #14563 —  
 
0
 
Men talk to each other about sex. Women - about love. But a set of words
same.
A. Dautov
Joke #14562 —  
 
0
 
Dembelnulsya soldiers. Walks in Moscow, with the girls wanted to stir up.
He asks a passerby:
- Where are the girls?
- Go on to Tverskaya Street - the peasant he said.
He sat down in the subway, and immediately met with the girl, and went to her
home. Sitting in her home, baldeyut. Suddenly the doorbell. My husband came.
- Climb up on a stool and a light bulb Twist, say elektik - it
he said.
Comes in. great guy and asks:
- Who are you?
- I'm an electrician, - says the soldier.
- For example, an electrician, I told you to go to Tverskaya Street, and why you see me
come home?
Joke #14561 —  
 
0
 
Today felt the results of the Moscow "Operation Clean
car. "In the morning went to his car - and it cleaned out.
Joke #14560 —  
 
0
 
Announcement on the door of a gay club. "Today we can and eat the fish.
Joke #14559 —  
 
0
 
What is the difference shaurma, cooked in the restaurant from Arabic Shawarma,
cooked at the Leningrad station? To be the first to otnostitsya
Arab cuisine, and the second - to Korea.
Joke #14558 —  
 
0
 
- What are the similarities between a woman and a drink?
- Both became available when running out of money ...
Joke #14557 —  
 
0
 
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