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Modern Sculpture: The boy, caressing pissing girl.
The century old man complains of clinical examination:
- Doctor, something in my health in recent weakening ...
- Yes a dick on health at your age, grandpa?!
- Yes ... perhaps it is age ... both directly and grandmother pass: now let
on what you said more than once a day, not counting!
All the ills of contemporary Russia to blame local idiots, local as
road and once parted the Red Sea.
Sculptor Zurab Tsereteli finally did manage to double real GDP
pile statue of the president in two human growth.
Little-known Russian version of Forbes magazine will be distributed by
subscription as a supplement to the popular "Bulletin of the prosecutor general's office.
Physical education classes at the institute came all faculty - a group of P-81,
P-82, P-83, P-84 and P-85. Jumped over the goat. A student of his chance
broke. The teacher saw it, all built in a row and asked:
- Who once @ $ ball kid?
Everyone is silent.
- The second time I ask, who is just @ # ball kid?
Everyone is silent.
- The last time I ask, is worse ...
- Yes, okay, as the saying goes: "Whatever happens - all for $ # th ..."
- Who said that?!
- That said Kurt Cobain.
- Which group?
- Nirvana ...
Doctor (examining patient):
- Strange, strange ... The first time I see such a low position of the navel.
- Ah, I just came from the army. Bearer was there.
Go fox Alice and Cote Basilio in the closet to Pinocchio and said:
- Do not worry, we will not for long! We have only one question to find out - how old are you
Pinocchio looked at them and asked:
- And why bring a saw?
At the sight of his dignity in her astonishment opened his mouth wide and
There is a dispute, two of the historian:
- I think, a colleague, that the Trojan horse was actually mare.
- Well, not did they climbed through w ...
- Petka, it's nothing that I slept with Anya?
- Oh, nothing, Vasili Ivanovich, you Well, my Captain!
- And why do not you lie down to sleep?
- So wait, when you fall asleep - I'll show your striker!
- And why are you sharpening his sword?
Program "Oil in exchange for Coca-Cola" became the faltering ...
The man decided to shoot the girl, but the agency say that today all
busy, there is only Vasya. The man at first indignant, left, but then
back - very cornered. He says: "Let Vasya, Virgo
nowhere ... "asked to wait on the street now, they say, will drive. OFFER
Limousine 18 meters in length, goes krutuschy feature-rich guy in
surrounded by a crowd of guards, spoke first with a mobile of Putin, then with
Berezovsky, then with Osama bin Laden ... Guy runs back to the office
and wondered: "Vasya some courses, who - who?"
History Frodo - a history of all married men: the extremely dangerous
attempts to get rid of crushing on the psyche of the ring.
Only true friends would help, but they ...
Hadpis on board the vehicle "road policemen - n @ Dora" much more quickly leads to
bathing, rather than variations on the theme "Wash me, I'm all cheshusya":)
The sanatorium citizen Sidorova quickly went to the amendment. And then a long and
unsuccessfully fought against the amendment.
He quail singers Tarkan and Lou Vega, the musical "Chicago" and "Phantom of the Opera"
group Queen. Meet the King of Karaoke - Philip Kirkorov!
Exquisite gourmet, insatiable beast in bed.
Seeking woman with a gentle velvety skin. Bedbug.
Removal of teeth. Cheap and fast. Asked Kolya.
- Private, me! What's your name?
- So you Well I already called, Comrade Ensign
- Answer me directly!
- Where I answer?
- As you were talking!
- Yes! Allow me to do?
- What do you imagine me from myself? Do you think I am a complete idiot here and for your
jokes you did not? And here and there, even the entire company will be!
- What are you, comrade Ensign! Father of our own! Yes, we have for the 'Net
the whole company will be on the hands and around the world about your spams
In the children's holiday camps do not like when children are swimming in the open
reservoirs: each time a child is missing, even cry! Once
suddenly once the child out of the water out - so its all tutors in the summer
a separate building was kept in reserve. Fall in handy.
Traffic policemen on the road like a sniper during the war: did some good
shots, gave its location - it's time to change position.
- Man, what is your so-looks at you?
- I insulted him yesterday!
- And how?
- Frying pan!
They say that the woman - is a mystery, and man should solve it all
life. I guessed the riddle of his wife, and realized - in what a fool I
Two unknown people agree on the meeting:
- I propose to meet at the station "Park Kultury" at 8 am
Monday. How will you look?
- Bad ...
If you're a real man and want to know what you think about the people
stand on a busy street, facing the wall, put his hands on pockets
pants and bend your head.
Although advertising and shit, but people like flies.
By purchasing our item at the price of three, the second will receive free.
Two neighbors said about children:
- Listen, Zina, your vymahal-how! Most likely, Danone ... from Rastishka?
- No! Moron ... From Grishka ...
Attempting at least someone to win, the United States decided - to declare war
Estonia. Estonians went to the rally in support of U.S. actions.
It is said that Khodorkovsky article about the crisis of liberalism is not himself wrote.
Well, of course, especially in the slammer does not sign off ... He actually wrote
a short note outlining the basic ideas, and the Kremlin
spin doctors finished the rest.
Now, attention SENSATION!
Here's the text of the original notes Khodorkovsky:
"Mr Putin, my final offer: 2 billion dollars - you
and 2 billion - your pals. "
Why Krupskoj eyes bulging?
So it is with Lenin himself had seen it!
Issue of the Armenian radio: something to think about rodenovsky "Thinker"?
A: On who he steal clothes from the changing room.
I learned the first letter in my life when I was only one year old.
Now I am 33 and I finally finished the script ...
- Sir! I accept your challenge! Confused.
That's interesting. Would the men drink vodka, if it began
not act within 5 minutes, but only after three days?
The golden rule of management: At work there is always one person
who knows what is really happening, and he should be fired in the first
Beggar knocking at the door, opens it man.
- You are such a good family. I already came to you a few hours ago. Your
wife gave me a cake. Maybe you help me now?
- Gave his cake? But I how can I help? I do not know ... can only
tablets from the stomach to give.
- You Th leave her with pebbles something?
- So her legs grew from the most teeth!
- What, you do not love too long legs?
- No, I do not like big teeth ...
Company Abramovich to sponsor football club CSKA in
$ 54 million. This money has bought players from CSKA
Everybody is happy, Abramovich has returned his money by minimizing their profits
Army - were players of the European level.
Unhappy with only Chelsea players, but who fuck the grief of others ...
Japanese scientists were able to learn more about the life of dogs with
cameras, which are attached to the head of the animal and write down all
his actions. It turns out that 90% of the time dogs spend trying to tear
camera from the head. The remaining 10% they run away from the scientists who
catch them to change the videotape.
Siauliai group of teenagers were beaten by two soldiers from
Belgian contingent. Unfortunately, not until all the hot Lithuanian
guys realized that the current occupants - not Russian.
- Girl, you are what size?
- The Sixth ...
- And I, too, 6 cm.
In team Russia national football team for friendly games do not have enough motivation.
And for the official - skills.
At the Ukrainian-Polish border sniffer dogs sniff out 2 kg of cocaine.
My salary has reached a level where you can send any
Looking for work, pay - so for that kind of money it was impossible to send any
Fly to Mars, an American, Arabic and Russian. Quiet, deserted - only
"Opprotyuniti" not far glitters ...
Suddenly - open hatches and sprinkled dust on the surface of the pops
a crowd of Martians: "Surprise, surprise!" We have been waiting for! Welcome
Welcome !..." Well, all that. I embrace, swing, showered with gifts,
dragged down, lay on the table, poured, which sent Mars ...
Russian escapes, runs into the capsule, a minute later came back: "Oh,
what you marsiantsy, tents guys ... - I'm here a bottle of vodka on the black
day zanykal: put! "
American also ran in the capsule: "Here ... Ahem ... French cognac - of
the great American people! ".."
Arab, to himself: "Well, What else are pretty cool, they are great ... but I plastid
not pulled back ... "
- What do you prefer for breakfast?
- At breakfast? Analgin and two no-shpy.
Putin recently chided the police for the bad state of affairs in the fight against
drugs. Mentioning that the staff in the departments to combat
drug mafia is 4 times more than in the States. About the size of
in America and in Russia, President modestly silent.
In the Main Directorate of the FSB began a course of lectures for the citizens entitled
"Everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask us."
However, students must first answer the questionnaire "All
that you knew, but too shy to tell us. "