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Announcement: Change the ideals of the revolution in the boomer and Mobil Pt
housing. A. Yushchenko.
Joke #19034 —  
 
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Early in the morning mom wakes son:
- John, Joe, get up early bird gets worm!
- Tape ... - Answered Vasya and turned to the wall.
Joke #19033 —  
 
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- What is written in the newspapers?
- Continuing the tale of three kids who pretended to bison and
of wood in the Bialowieza Forest mangled.
Joke #19032 —  
 
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August 6, 1945. While there is a little over Hiroshima
airplane. It is separated from the black dot and rushes to the ground.
It reveals the parachute, and ... Valdis Pelsh trod on Japanese soil. It
program was only a joke ". And you believed the Soviet
propaganda?
Joke #19031 —  
 
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Igrochki first toyed with the audience, and then over Rabotnicki.
Joke #19030 —  
 
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Demonstrating control panels equipped coupe, the representative
Owner romkoshnogo train "Grand" reported that in the future to
preyti to their multifunctionality. In particular, with the help of a button
will be possible not only to cause the conductor, but also to send it.
Joke #19029 —  
 
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What is the order of most want to hear our soldiers? Take coat and
shingle nach schnell!
Joke #19028 —  
 
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There are rumors that the dominance of pornography on the Internet - the next action of the ROC,
has the purpose to cause a public aversion to debauchery and to the rest
lust.
Joke #19026 —  
 
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Go-oh-oh-oh-oh-l! As the falcon ...
Joke #19025 —  
 
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Now they, mazherov, Ukrainian, called simply - "Andryushechki!"
Joke #19024 —  
 
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A man who gives when he is wrong - the sage. Man Who
yields, when he's right - married.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18812 —  
 
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- Honey, I owe you something in a confession. I'm married ...
- How you frightened me! I've thought that you stole your BMW!
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18811 —  
 
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This mother-in-law must raise three daughters, to give their marriage and help
all three of divorce. Greater because one can not demand or on a
mother!
Joke #18810 —  
 
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- How to gain favor with a girl?
- First, finish, and then arrange ...
Joke #18809 —  
 
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Muller:
- Stirlitz, you like Wagner?
- Yes, once more Tariverdieva!
Joke #18808 —  
 
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Latvia appealed to Russia with a desire to review the results of the second
World War II.
Russia:
- And we let you perepokazhem!
Joke #18807 —  
 
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Moscow Distillery began to produce vodka in bottles left
carving. Such beneath one's dignity, with a hangover, never expected from him .. none
Joke #18806 —  
 
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The store hairy, as the orangutan, man asks:
- Girl, what would I shave the hair on my body?
- Lawn mowers do not sell!
Joke #18805 —  
 
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- Beer without vodka - money down the drain.
- No, money down the drain it - cigarettes. A beer without vodka - money
picsuar.
RiskMaker
Joke #18804 —  
 
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Advertisement:
Green was lost dog, cut down the right horn, hooves are not shod.
Who found, please refer to a psychiatrist.
Joke #18803 —  
 
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Two hunters went on a wild boar. The next day, one of them
back, barely moving from the carcass of wild boar on the hump. Seeing that his
close friend there, the villagers asked him:
- Kohl, P. and where?
- Yes it was bad, he fell, two kilometers away lies.
- How? You left Petrovich and Popper Koba??
- Well Petrovich something, probably no one sopret!
Joke #18802 —  
 
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Brothers' Keepers. And I love my land.
Joke #18801 —  
 
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Politically correct Americans call Nigeria AFROAMERICA ...
Joke #18800 —  
 
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When Little Johnny was in third grade, the parents noticed that he was
too anxious in sexual terms. One has only to see
some girl, so once said: "This is the tits!" (thighs, ass
etc.) In general, teachers are on the ears, shorter transferred him to study in
boarding. It takes a year. Goes with the father Vovochka in the bus and at the next
stop go, three beautiful girls. My father's jaw fell off and
forgetting, he says Little Johnny: "Look what cool chicks!" What
Little Johnny replies: "This is garbage, Dad, you better look, what a ass
driver!
Joke #18799 —  
 
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Being married, you get rid of all the issues related to leave.
When you go on vacation, and so solves your boss, and where it
hold - will now deal with your wife.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18798 —  
 
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In Penza Radio asked:
- What are the common and different between Lenin and Chubais?
Answer: both, and he wrote a book about the development of capitalism in Russia --
is common.
Working in government, one was great, and the other rich --
is different.
Joke #18797 —  
 
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Choosing a candidate for the role of the husband of the two candidates, one who knows
what he wants, prefer someone who knows what she wants.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18796 —  
 
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Offended, but then quickly moved away ... from the corpse.
Joke #18795 —  
 
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Offer to go to a restaurant usually ends in sex than
proposal to have sex.
Joke #18794 —  
 
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Scientists from New Zealand have invented a new tablet, from which a person
completely disappears hunger. The tablet is made from special
herbs with the addition of meat and flour ingredients. Weighs such tablet
half kilograms.
Joke #18793 —  
 
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- Sit down, girl, we were in the car.
- Hihihi. Invite a ride, boys?
- Why are you with us kokketnichaete? Get in the car and all.
- Right now! Am I just stupid or something - sit in the car with sixteen
guys? I did not have such an education. I told my mother a thousand times ...
- Yes do not care what you mother said. Sit in the car and drove off.
- Where to go? I suppose we'll go out of town?
- For a city outside the city. Sit down.
- Yeah. I'm sixteen and boys going into the city. Pretty
pastime. Why go anywhere? Maybe you me right here
iznasiluete to me afterwards it was very close to return home? I
Mother thousand times ...
- But who is going to rape you? Sit down.
- Yeah, yeah. Nobody will violate it. Sit, songs for guitars
hoho .. Heard more than once. My mother a thousand ...
- Sit in the car!! Hurry!!
- Do not yell at me, handsome. Do not pass these numbers .. General insolent
already - or you try podpoit slightly, neither you dance ...
If only I could trying to buy a hamburger. So there - get in the car!
Durochka found .. My mother ...
- Yes, you do not care what your mother said!! Looming Hurricane Rita!
WE - SOLDIERS! THIS ESCAPE!! Get into the car!!
Joke #18792 —  
 
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Who said women can not keep secrets? Try to remember
at least once, when his wife confessed that she does with your
salary.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18791 —  
 
0
 
Happy woman who marries him of whom dreamed of, may
be the only one that goes beyond the fact of whom dreamed of her friends.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #18790 —  
 
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Three drink.
First:
- The best way to rid of the smell of spirits after his mistress, a beer with
fish. Functioning smoothly and in harmony to man's way of life
his wife's suspicion.
Second:
- Do you know means of lipstick on his face, women's panties
pocket, forgotten condoms, love notes?
First:
- What? What? I did not hear.
Here vstrevaet third:
- He asked for idiocy means you do not know?
Joke #18789 —  
 
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Girl! It smells good on you! What are you drinking today?
Joke #18788 —  
 
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Also born to fly, I strongly exerting more and drivers,
born to crawl.
Joke #18787 —  
 
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"... When the suspect surrenders had a fierce
resistance ... "
Joke #18786 —  
 
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In Russia, all three letters. Even the economy.
For example, to GDP growth, we must put MBH.
Joke #18785 —  
 
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For Russia's Ambassador to Ukraine that Yushchenko that Tymoshenko
that Yekhanurov - all on one myrdu.
Joke #18784 —  
 
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People's toast "To us it was all over and we are nothing!"
while in Russia, in practice, been able to realize only the officials.
Joke #18783 —  
 
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Your friend in the computer classification.

If you notice that favor your girl directly
depends on how much money you spent on it, it means that your girl
- User. If you do not notice anything like it - advanced
user.

If a girl is happy hysteria in response to innocent remarks,
unconditionally believe gossip and systematically tries to strike you out
his life without explaining the reasons you went to a friend-moderator. Not
Fart, attempts to transform meaningless: a moderator - this is forever.

If you except she has a few more men (at least three),
She - admin. Depending on the scope and territorial dispersion
men, it may be a local admin or global network. If
A man carries a greater burden and has a large
powers than the others, a situation referred to as "network with a dedicated
server ", otherwise there is" ad-hoc network.

If your friend unreliable, slow, always lying, but you
this is tolerated because it requires you as the air, if you like
about how to change it to another, but deep down you know that all
they are the same, your girlfriend - the provider.
If you pay her for each connection, it is called dial-up.
We'll have to advance to accept the fact that you have it not alone, and in particular
critical moments, you will be denied access to the body under the pretext
"Poole is overloaded, my dear, let's not now."
If you pay her monthly maintenance, plus delivers goods at
unscheduled visits (cost depends on the true gifts
the number of orgasms, and not from the time it takes to achieve them), you
ispolzuesh ADSL, dedicated channel. I think that you were lucky.

If a girl is interested in your credit card numbers, passwords and
PIN codes, and after her departure, you discover that your bank account
empty, so it was a hacker on trust. When it first goes
you married and then selects the passwords and began to ravage the account
is the so-called ethical hacker (hacker ethic).

If after a night of love, she assesses the potential of your words
"Account Forgot your login, Nah", "cool" or sad notes "theme is not fucked
opened ", it means it - ZhZhyuzer. When communicating with a girl should not
upset that you do not have it "first, tries, but rejoice that
"Fdesyatke" quite acceptable. Also, there is no sense irritated about
awareness a little, and complete strangers about your with her
intimate problems. All questions to better meet the just and
dignity - "A niipet.
Joke #18782 —  
 
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Swedish chair - is the consequence of a buffet.
Joke #18781 —  
 
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Month drove the car Lithuanian found a dead crow on the road ...
Not in handy ...
But the dead give the aircraft a pity ... Suddenly useful?
Joke #18780 —  
 
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- How is the academic council of wise advice?
- Clever advice to follow, and the scientist to attend.
Joke #18779 —  
 
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Want to go to Brazil?

Came SMS to the Embassy of Brazil, 'I want a visa to Brazil, SMS to
Number of airline "I want a ticket to Brazil," SMS to the hotel in
Brazil "book in Brazil" --

and get a great chance to go to Brazil!
Joke #18778 —  
 
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How to make a female audience to watch football?
It is necessary to remove the football pants.
Joke #18777 —  
 
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Due to the success of serials soldiers, tourists and students, guidance
RenTV decided to withdraw another series. On the life of Deputies. Mandate.
dik
Joke #18776 —  
 
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Every week we have two days off, when we do not go on
work, and five workers, when not working.
Joke #18775 —  
 
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Not so terrible civil liability, as her fears.
Joke #18774 —  
 
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Departing on a mission, the commander of the scouts left their instruments and
awards. What should they be, when on his return commander said that
anything they did not take - and indeed the first time seeing them.
http://comykarmy.hut1.ru/
Joke #18773 —  
 
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