Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
It is my duty to myself - to vote for the best anecdote
Joke #19954 —  
 
0
 
From the series "lyapy advertisers.

Advertising beer Carlsberg - Sponsor match for the Super Cup of Europe. Home
C "drawn" players: defender gave the ball ", etc. Finalized all
is the fact that the letter dorisovyvaetsya, and goalkeeper takes a blow.

But if you look closely, you may notice that the defender, who began
combination completes its great blow to his own goal.

Little change slogan: "This is possible only if good
gain "Carlsberg"!
Joke #19953 —  
 
0
 
Man approaches the kiosk of wheat and asks pradovschitse:
- Tell me and you zavtreshny bread to eat?
Joke #19952 —  
 
0
 
You're on REN-TV

20.00 Tourists
21.10 soldiers
22.20 students
23.30 pederast
Joke #19951 —  
 
0
 
....
- Strangely enough, the shirt is dry and not smell? What have you climbed in the shower,
bastard? You ran to whom?!
Joke #19950 —  
 
0
 
Drunk man crawling across the garden and buried her head in a scarecrow:
- Shit, Jesus Christ!
Joke #19949 —  
 
0
 
Belarus created belorussoyuz.
And he brought his teretorib One unit of new currency-Zaire.

Saboteur.
Joke #19948 —  
 
0
 
Brunettes make nonsense of not less than blondes. Only whom they
interesting? Like their stupidity ...
Joke #19947 —  
 
0
 
- Listen, and 30 pieces of silver, it is our money how much?
- Well ... it ... 300 rubles, about ... a trifle!
- Well, do not tell me ten bucks is not something extra!
Joke #19946 —  
 
0
 
Why sperm tails?
- In order to make them easier to pluck out the teeth!
:)
Joke #19945 —  
 
0
 
I wonder whether the other carriers will follow the example of the company
"Russia", to take up a passenger aircraft IL-96 on supersonic
bomber.
Joke #19944 —  
 
0
 
CALL U.S. AT:
- Hello, Koresh, HELP FOR OPOHMELKU. On the other end:
- Where to call YOU!? Do you have any NABERAESH WHEN THE NUMBER ONE EYE SHUT
THAT IS NOT DVOILOS.
Joke #19943 —  
 
0
 
- At the weekend with the men got out of town. Beer taken, vodka,
skewer ... Yes, just came out all wrong, as expected.
- And how?
- Yes, so ... Back through the mouth.
Joke #19941 —  
 
0
 
As for the different sounds the same speech in Russia, for example - in
Britain: our numerous colonies!

ITH
Joke #19940 —  
 
0
 
Two employees of State Drug Control:
- And why do people smoke?
- To work with us was!

http://eparhia.penza.org/
Joke #19939 —  
 
0
 
- I do not even want to go to the election! How not vote anyway
naebut.
- You're wrong. Must have to go and enjoy, voting
so that all candidates understand how you put on them!
Joke #19938 —  
 
0
 
Best game server - Earth: Map only one, but 6 billion
players, no cheaters, Admin patient, but if ban that user ...
Joke #19937 —  
 
0
 
Physical inetrpretatsiya ukranskoy independence:
"samostiyno-hole transition"
Joke #19936 —  
 
0
 
AvtoVAZ said that behind a sedan VAZ-1118-Kalina will be issued
two models: hatchback VAZ-1119 and VAZ-RASPBERRY-1120-Hazayit.
Joke #19935 —  
 
0
 
My husband goes on business trips, and warned his wife:
- If I come back again and find a lover in the closet, then you have me
poplyashesh!
. . .
_1 Option prodolzheniya_
My wife surprised:
- So you that, you can not come back?
- - --
_2 Option prodolzheniya_
Her husband returned. My wife ran up to him and twitters:
- My dear, you're so unexpectedly returned, I had the joy of Dance!
- - --
_3 Option prodolzheniya_
Her husband returned. And he sees a new cabinet.
Joke #19934 —  
 
0
 
One friend - Other:
- Eaten a candy.
- Since it was released in November.
- And now what?
- August.
- Prikin, from the future!
Joke #19933 —  
 
0
 
At one time in the heat of the restructuring and rashvatyvaniya Square "who
how can snatch "in Chisinau demolished a monument to" the occupier "Pushkin
and hoisted in its place a monument to "the Liberator" Dantes
Joke #19932 —  
 
0
 
There comes a peasant employed in the theater. He asked:
- You finished the theater?
- Oh, yes! Yesterday, both theatrically at Manka finished it on the "Encore" requested
again!
Joke #19931 —  
 
0
 
Night, the tent in a mountain forest. In the crowns and rocks a long howling wind.
Tourists tell each other terrible horror stories. Already told
"Snowman", "Black Mountaineer", "Shelter eleven." All in
platoon, trembling with fear. Then from the corner of the tent is heard terrible
sepulchral voice:
- Are you a story about a lame hunter you know?
All of a shudder:
- No, I do not know.
The voice becomes even more eerie and sepulchral:
- Right. There is no such history.

(C) Robie
Joke #19930 —  
 
0
 
- Boris, why you left the presidency and settled night
watchman at the dump?
- A shta-ah? Ten bucks that tea is not superfluous, panimaish-sh-sh ...
Joke #19929 —  
 
0
 
Do not try to correct any errors. Errors corrected themselves nature
on its own stupid mistakes corrected intelligent, clever just brilliant, but
brilliant mistake is not remedied.
Joke #19928 —  
 
0
 
Hymn of Plastic Surgeons.
Captain, Captain, smile --
After all, a smile - is the flag ship.
Captain, Captain, tighten --
Without braces in our time has come.
Joke #19927 —  
 
0
 
Using the results of the vote, the decision behind the police
depict as Chubais. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #19926 —  
 
0
 
Conversation between two blondes:
Do you ever nicer: when you masturbiruesh or when you fuck?
Well fuck you compare with your finger ...
Joke #19925 —  
 
0
 
Women do not get carried away rejuvenating creams! With their long-term
application on the face are teenage acne! (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #19924 —  
 
0
 
Cast: Jackie Chan and Johnny Taz. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #19923 —  
 
0
 
- Winnie the Pooh, but what do you think about the flight of President Putin
strategic bomber?
- It's "Well-zh-zh-zh" good reason!
Joke #19922 —  
 
0
 
Correct bite. Change the shape of the nose, slit eyes.
No photoshop.
Joke #19921 —  
 
0
 
In response to the question "Where do you live?" Spider is naplel! ..
Joke #19920 —  
 
0
 
~ ~ ~
Nokia. Connecting people.
Megafon. Disconnecting people.
Joke #19883 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the transition Russo-Polish relations to a qualitatively new level immediately change the name of the Moscow Metro "Warsaw" in the "Patriot Ivan Susanin.
Joke #19719 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio asked the question: Will Russia's GDP increased in two times 2010? Answer: We do not think that the medicine will reach a level, but private Condition GDP will increase by ten times and will do not Russia, and the GDP at the expense of Russia!
Joke #19718 —  
 
0
 
Great Russia, and nowhere to retreat - behind Luxembourg.
Joke #19717 —  
 
0
 
Only three Russian heroes: Onopko, Bulykin and Titov could save Russia national football team. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #19716 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the result of a soccer match between Latvia and Russia jokes about Latvians and other Baltic peoples are not considered.
Joke #19715 —  
 
0
 
His statement Kudrin said at least a minimum of increased export it timber from Russia.
Joke #19714 —  
 
0
 
The massive contribution made to the foundation of peace in the Middle East, Ariel Sharon - Own body.
Joke #19713 —  
 
0
 
In this environment the mainstream media in our country have shown an interview with Herman Gref, Minister of Economic Development and Trade Ministry, in which he, in all seriousness, confirmed that Russia - a country with the world's largest reserve of timber.
Joke #19712 —  
 
0
 
16.08.05 Putin has rolled on the strategic bomber Tu-160. Similar types of weapons travel only in pairs. At a height of 2000 meters from the aircraft was launched over the precise cruise missile. About the main thing - run wingman.
Joke #19711 —  
 
0
 
Advertising. Girl: - excuse me, but where's the money, something I simply can not find. Seller: - Where, where? In the pussy! Girl sits down, spread her legs, and begins to look THERE. Voice: Jeans. NCC bitching!

(C) ANEC
Joke #19709 —  
 
0
 
Advertising. - Stop, stop as well. Or do you want to continue the conversation in handcuffs in the other place? - Thank you but I prefer the whiter romance - flowers Champagne ... Maxime. Natural Born Romantic. Three years on probation.

(C) ANEC
Joke #19708 —  
 
0
 
- I do not have the slightest right to jeer? - Are you constantly stebeshsya! - And I Stebaev. House 2 Dialogue bald similar to Dr. Evil and blonde coloring roots in black.
Joke #19707 —  
 
0
 
All trahovaniya
Joke #19706 —  
 
0
 
After this incident, Lieutenant Rzhevskij restore its reputation
decent man.
The lieutenant says Natasha Natasha's a little insipid anecdote
Joke #19705 —  
 
0
 
Only when I saw the advertisement oils with Rotrou, I realized how I hate it
oil ...
Joke #19704 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311