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Comes guy on reception to the orthopedist. Razuvaev, orthopedist sniffs and
says:
- Oh, how you smell like feet!
Guy:
- I know I already said, the therapist, but wanted to hear the views
specialist.
Joke #20540 —  
 
0
 
The ideal factory

Recently, Russia's federal agency for music and art
conducted a study on the well-known television program "Factory
Stars. "Employees of the agency developed a computer program, which at
Based on available data on all four editions of the factory is
image of the ideal manufacturer. Here's what happened.

Ideal manufacturer must:

1) be beautiful as Pierre Narcisse and Julia Savicheva, 2) be cheerful and
sociable as Lena Terleeva 3) to be exacting and penetrating as
Lena Temnikova 4) to be fit and looking fit as Max Fadeev, 5)
dance like Julia Savicheva, 6) to speak in Russian as Pierre Narcisse and
Jam, 7) have a voice like Masha Rzhevskaya Alex Chvikovoy, Sasha
Berdnikov, 8) to be charismatic as Nikita Malinin, 9) have a shape
like Julia Savicheva and Helen Sergeyevna, 10) honestly qualify as
Nikita Malinin, Sophia Kuzmina, Stas P'eha etc.
(the list goes on praticheski to infinity), 11) have diction
like Pasha Artemyev, 12) to be honest as the results of the Audience
voting; 13) have a sense of humor as Lena Terleeva, 14) have
kind and understanding as Max Fadeev, 15) to be industrious as Stas
P'eha and Zhenya Volkonskaia, 16) be a natural as Ira Ortman.

Agency asks him to forgive, if someone has forgotten.
The list may optionally be supplemented.

July 9, 2004 (finalized in 2005) Anatoly (Atlantis)
Joke #20538 —  
 
0
 
Those who watched "Star Wars" will appreciate the humor ...

Padme gives birth. Appears fair-haired baby. Obi Wan:
- Who is your father?
Padme:
- Anakin Skywalker.
Appears little fellow in black baby. Obi Wan (shocked)
- And this?
Padme:
- Master Windu.
Thus was born the third child. Obi Wan faints. There robots burn
fuses. Padme takes the baby in his arms and hihiknuv, said:
- Oh, not in vain yesterday I drank a liter of green fodder!
Joke #20537 —  
 
0
 
Hamovatym nitwits admitted. Administration
Joke #20536 —  
 
0
 
Designation in notes issued in the area - "Tempo di Murka"
Joke #20535 —  
 
0
 
From the cozy smell of a boy by shit ..
Joke #20534 —  
 
0
 
differs from the wet-dream hallucination? hallucination is when
hreneet imagination, and wet-dream - when the hell imagines.
Joke #20533 —  
 
0
 
Advertising: Transferred term non-payment anywhere in the world for 5 minutes!
Joke #20532 —  
 
0
 
Everything happens at night in the hospital.
A nurse makes rounds, in the last chamber is the grandfather.
She comes to check the pressure, a thermometer with a temperature and gathering
leave:
- All I'm turning off the lights couple Hushaby.
To which her grandfather with a grin Alphonse says:
- Tea leaves, EBA @ ki and afterwards Hushaby.
Joke #20531 —  
 
0
 
Yushchenko established a visa-free entry to Ukraine for citizens of the United States.
George W. Bush as a retaliatory gesture of goodwill, ordered the use
lubrication at rectal examination in the United States citizens entering Ukraine.
Joke #20530 —  
 
0
 
How can one explain the fact that Americans are so precisely hit the comet, and
then wild celebrations this event? And the solution is simple: American
Scientists calculate that a comet will fall casualty to Iraq.
Avukat
Joke #20529 —  
 
0
 
Inhabitants of comet Tempel 1 was happy to celebrate the Day
independence of the United States, along with the international community and the promise of the next
anniversary of the mark in Manhattan.
Joke #20528 —  
 
0
 
NASA probe successfully collided with comet Templ 1 to examine the possibility
counter collision of comets with the Earth, which led to change
trajectory of a comet led to a clash
Joke #20527 —  
 
0
 
The program has made a valid operation, but will be closed by force of habit.
Joke #20526 —  
 
0
 
For this man is taken gently, then squeezes tightly and begins his
moving top-down. The more he moves it, the more pleasure he
receives. In the end, he let go and enjoy it ends. After
machine in the garage and put the shifter it no longer
needed.
Joke #20525 —  
 
0
 
Stirlitz ate an orange. The hand she reached for another. Ate the second,
third ... Not stuck. Do not pinned - thought Stirlitz.
Joke #20524 —  
 
0
 
Foam shaving Gillete-supported youth football team!
What, you think they will win? Shave!

SAP
Joke #20523 —  
 
0
 
By the wife of the American astronaut comes a group of NASA: Ma'am, please
Our condolences to: Your husband was killed in a rocket-we missed by the ISS, but
but look what a beautiful fireworks turned out to Comet Tempel.
Joke #20522 —  
 
0
 
Most surprised of all the video engineer, seeing the video explosion on the comet
Tempel week before launching the missile itself.
Joke #20521 —  
 
0
 
Georgian Tale Sakashvili caught and brought to the raspberries and staged interrogation:
Tale Interpol passed?
-I had no choice, otherwise the Americans would not give money.
Well then, by our standards-cnimay pants and Bend .....
-Please Give me five minutes, get ready
-Why? ass vaseline smear?
-no cap to remove
Joke #20520 —  
 
0
 
- What is the trick?? It gave me a postcard! Crumpled, a green ... Hundred
years, Benjamin Franklin! .. What? .. What are you doing? ... What do you me
arrested? ..
- How to arrest you? .. We invite you to the tercentenary anniversary
guillotine ...
Joke #20519 —  
 
0
 
Listens peasant weather forecast. Submitted in Siberia, minus 45 degrees.
Well, do not believe it, calls his friend in Siberia:
- Listen, you said there holodina terrible?
- No, minus 20 - minus 25.
- Yes? And on TV said minus 45?
- And you laid ....
Joke #20518 —  
 
0
 
In addition to the anecdote

Joke #20461 —  
 
0
 
Goes rink on the playground.
The driver of the rink: "Children, children!" As stones! "
Joke #20330 —  
 
0
 
"This I successfully got!", - Said the sultan, with satisfaction surveying
swamp teaming with frogs and arrows.
Joke #20328 —  
 
0
 
Putin gave a diamond ring.
"I agree" - "Putin said, and blushed.
Joke #20327 —  
 
0
 
Masterclass Lebedev.

Artemij: Your site is shit!
One of the listeners: What is it you do not like?
Artem: Where do you see this icon, "Made in Studio Le ... oh,
sorry, there's an ugly logo, table incorrect, the background color ...
Joke #20326 —  
 
0
 
What distinguishes the Russian from the Chukchi?
Chukcha live with nature, and it is Russian.
Joke #20325 —  
 
0
 
... cuts, such as the 600-th in the Mercedes "Maybach"! :-)))
Joke #20324 —  
 
0
 
Buy our company.
And in what condition are they in?
Well then take only a dead donkey ears.
Joke #20323 —  
 
0
 
Call to mobile: Hi, I'm in Poltava. Here a eagle on the boom and
inscription "1709. Do you know accidentally, what does this mean?
Joke #20322 —  
 
0
 
Suppose that Ukraine is not to blame, but who steal gas from my lighters?
Joke #20321 —  
 
0
 
When asked Russia's Ministry of Internal Affairs Lutsenko why they otpustitli Bakay was
received the laconic reply: "Because he is a slippery type."

http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #20320 —  
 
0
 
Dad can, Dad can do anything you like!
Only my mother, only her mother could not be
If my father, if Dad is not a transvestite!
Joke #20319 —  
 
0
 
- Professor, how best to formulate the concept of "infinity"?
- Yes! Take a pen, and write an outline: "Eternity - this is
quotient of infinity per unit "
Joke #20318 —  
 
0
 
In the car ride two blodinki: One other said, all darkened
seems to be a thunderstorm. I'm terribly afraid of lightning, suddenly in a car lightning
strike.
The second responds "Yes, all right, that so terrible, I had the same under their feet
rugs lie.
Joke #20317 —  
 
0
 
www.Ts.RU
Joke #20316 —  
 
0
 
With such friends, as Zbigniew Brzezinski, the enemies of Ukraine no longer needed.
Joke #20315 —  
 
0
 
Wish pedophile boy 12 years - "always remained the same
young.
Joke #20314 —  
 
0
 
I love you, in the best sense of the word!
Joke #20313 —  
 
0
 
- Doctor, I have a chair of some unstable!
- Yes, I have very, out, table reeling!
Joke #20312 —  
 
0
 
This morning, crossing the intersection, I understood a simple thing, some asshole
born only for the toilet.

lehan
Joke #20311 —  
 
0
 
Perhaps, hares, and inferior to someone in courage, but all excel in
cowardice.
Joke #20310 —  
 
0
 
If you do not, this could give a shit. It would be on that ...
Joke #20309 —  
 
0
 
Not to give birth in his mind, must still bring it out in people.
Joke #20308 —  
 
0
 
There are three Russian professors: The poor, who take exams for
Cash, Good, who pass the exams for non-cash, and
qualified, who pass the exams for received from them
knowledge.
It is good that last for many, but saddened that almost all of them already
working abroad.
Joke #20307 —  
 
0
 
Citizens for the state as children! It comes up with their games
tells the tale, and fed sweet promises.
Joke #20306 —  
 
0
 
- Why drink Pepsi-Cola is bad?
- Because after the 20th green bottle appears Cheburashka and begins
select your entire meal.
Joke #20305 —  
 
0
 
I'll give dick a good and caring hands.
Joke #20303 —  
 
0
 
With such sores like me - do not last long.
Maximum of 89 years. As my father!
Joke #20302 —  
 
0
 
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