Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
My site is in the bath ... "
(From the forum webmasters.)
Joke #20852 —  
 
0
 
An elderly Ukrainian policeman teaches the young: "The most terrifying beasts --
moskalskie zhurnalyugi. Recently, they took one - so he heads to us all
feet repulsed, and then zagryz death ball ".
Joke #20851 —  
 
0
 
Pregnant girl, and no money for abortion. Comes to the gynecologist
describes your problem. He said after a thorough examination:
- Starve a couple of weeks and come to me.
After 2 weeks of the girl, barely alive, creep up to the doctor. He looked
at her and said:
- Another week fasting and then come.
After a long week, from the girl were skin and bones, she said, from
last strength dopolzaet to the doctor, barely mustered his last strength gets into the
chair, sits down. The doctor removed in 2 minutes, returned with a piece of
bread, torn from him maaaaaalenkuyu crumb, brings it to the vagina:
- Utyu-hm-hm-hm ..... YYY, pizdenysh ))))))))
Joke #20850 —  
 
0
 
Cashier committed an illegal operation and will be removed.
Joke #20849 —  
 
0
 
-Holmes, have you heard about the explosions in London?
- Yes, of course, my brother Mycroft from the Ministry of Internal Affairs
warned me that day.
Joke #20848 —  
 
0
 
The history of mankind - continuous dancing. People are always dancing to someone else
pipe, the authorities - under their fanfare.
Joke #20847 —  
 
0
 
Everyone is entitled to happiness, but more often obtained
children.
Joke #20845 —  
 
0
 
Two young women from Yakutia got to Tverskaya. They ask:
- Where are you from?
- From Susuman!
- Where do you want?
- In Susuman!
- Then you left, to ask Uncle Grisha!

Holy Monster (NA)
Joke #20844 —  
 
0
 
Reality show "Big Brother"
Very pleased that the "Big Brother" in a past life was the oculist.
But how absurd would look like the flag and show that the participants would wear on the hands,
performing a task, if "Big Brother" was in a past life
gynecologist, urologist or a proctologist.
Joke #20843 —  
 
0
 
Any impotence cures folk healer Vanya Panteleyev from the city
Kuvyrkutsya using a conventional garden radish. Recipe: Horseradish garden
length of 20-25 cm, 5-6 cm in diameter, sharpened with a knife at one end,
a set of tools also includes 30 cm of ordinary twine. Apply
outwardly.

Holy Monster (NA)
Joke #20842 —  
 
0
 
A guy comes into the store and asks imported deodorant:
- Give me Lady spizdik! "
- What are you, man - we have all saleswoman decent women!

Holy Monster (NA)
Joke #20841 —  
 
0
 
In Russia, the smallest percentage of per capita female named Danuta, and
because our country - the most bezdanutaya country in the world.

Holy Monster (NA)
Joke #20840 —  
 
0
 
Bikers - it is the authors who write stories for Anekdot.ru.
Joke #20839 —  
 
0
 
Sakashvili, said that the republic of Abkhazia belong to him, though as
the remaining 250 countries of the world .....
Joke #20838 —  
 
0
 
For the first time Russia's government as a whole met with his
people. In Tel Aviv it was delivered to a special flight airline El-Al.

www.keke.ru
Joke #20837 —  
 
0
 
Who said that Ukraine has a full eq. torn!
Yes they are the best in the world prepared for globalization, but their currency in
Latin script is already written - UAN (b).
Joke #20836 —  
 
0
 
Many believe that some people should be free condoms to give.
Ironically, Americans themselves thought of it, and there condoms
distributed free throughout the country. (this fact)
Joke #20835 —  
 
0
 
People! Do not come to us at World Championship gliding!
The road hold an action "eyes in the sky - the front beam to hell!
Road already prepared - was enclosed with new asphalt, old potholes!
Joke #20834 —  
 
0
 
"In order to propose to add political correctness to the state flag
U.S. still and black stripes. "

And to justice could be added, and the black frame ...
:-P
Joke #20833 —  
 
0
 
The newspaper Trud, 2020. Yesterday in London was carried out by terrorists
nuclear explosion. Survivors 18 Londoners responded with dignity
terrorists - just returned to their cases. Lead blast
Al-Zahereri right hand playwright Ahmed Zakayev, arrived in Moscow on
invitation of the famous singer and pravozascheknitsy Masha Rasputina and asked
political asylum, which was granted, since no
representations of the prosecutor's office in London on his extradition has been received.
Joke #20831 —  
 
0
 
- Why are you today so smurnoj walk?
- After yesterday's ... Birthday of a neighbor pointed out ... He canister
moonshine put ...
- It is, of course, for the time it's happened too!
- No, one canister came not too many at once, but too much
at once to this canister come to this!
Joke #20830 —  
 
0
 
Putin promised to cooperate with Ukraine in the energy sector, "if they
stop tyrit gas. But is stealing gas to Ukraine if Russia
gave it for free?
Joke #20829 —  
 
0
 
In order to change the image of the "factory of obesity" company "McDonald's"
decided to make its mascot - a clown, Ronald - athlete. Chosen and
sport that Ronald will, - eating hamburgers at
speed.
Joke #20828 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio asked:
- Is it true that the G8, Russia is allocated the six. "
Armenian Radio answers:
- Russia is not six to G8, talk about it - the machinations of the Kremlin
detractors. In fact, Russia in the G8, just a fifth wheel.
Joke #20827 —  
 
0
 
Advertisement:
"State Drug Control announces the sale of seized goods. Wide
assortment, low prices, guaranteed quality. Come, we
vsegoda you happy! "
FinFal
Joke #20826 —  
 
0
 
- I look - you whiskey white!
- Well! It's "White Horse!
Joke #20825 —  
 
0
 
Announcement: Comrades, hackers do not need to site entrance
Joke #20824 —  
 
0
 
Husband prematurely returned from a trip. Wife at the stove, the bed
tucked in the house except her one.
Husband: - I was wrong apartment?
Wife: - For you, a pancake, not pleasing!
vvv.hahaha.ru
Joke #20823 —  
 
0
 
Dr. Blyabolit.
Joke #20822 —  
 
0
 
Subject ebli for peasant disclosed, if the new car he wants more than
a new woman.
Joke #20821 —  
 
0
 
Beds are divided into two categories: strong and those that can only
sleep.
Joke #20820 —  
 
0
 
National Olympic Committee of Russia warned: an
2012 Olympic Games in London is dangerous to health.
Joke #20819 —  
 
0
 
Putin calls Luzhkov.
Putin: - I tell you, bald schmuck that tell you?
Meadow: - What should lose with dignity.
Putin: - That, as you are that damn, for garbage in London has created, again at
Osama all the blame will be?
Joke #20818 —  
 
0
 
Can not say that the national wealth of Russia always distributed
one only law meanness. We have a lot of them happen.
Joke #20817 —  
 
0
 
Announcer:
- The team scored a splendid, extremely beautiful goal ... on
rivals who answered three random goals.

keke.ru
Joke #20606 —  
 
0
 
Interviews:
- Tell me, Mr. N, how you managed to be among the most secured
Russians, not having even a higher education?
- I did not go to college, but it is not required after
as the chairman selection committee told me the secret of success in
Russia's business ...
- You, you ... can I open what he told you this?
- Cash advance.

Azat G.
Joke #20605 —  
 
0
 
Russian by 1980, promised kommunizm, and they got the Olympics.
The British promised in 2012 Olympics, but will they kommunizm.
Joke #20604 —  
 
0
 
Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, Afghanistan and North Korea demanded that
Britain allowed their representatives to the Independent
international investigation into the attacks in London.
Joke #20603 —  
 
0
 
The British were happy Wednesday, and Thursday - were crying.
French - on the contrary.
Joke #20602 —  
 
0
 
London won the race cities pretendetov the Olympic Games in 2012.
This candidate skipped ahead, Moscow, New York, Madrid and Paris, where
bombings have been.
Joke #20601 —  
 
0
 
News on RTR
- Terrorist attack in Makhachkala!
- Moscow first weed out the vote on the choice of the capital of the Olympic Games
2012!
- All students in Russia will now serve for 2 years!
- And finally some good news! In Georgia, heavy rains destroyed most
crops.
Joke #20600 —  
 
0
 
At the summit of the Group of Eight to decide whether to cancel the debt of small
six.
(C) Robie
Joke #20599 —  
 
0
 
Honey - this is an eructation insects predstavlyayushaya a half-digested
allocation of reproductive organs of plants.
Joke #20598 —  
 
0
 
- Tell me, please, this embankment Sinks? Excellent. Somewhere near
be boulevard tire-...
Joke #20597 —  
 
0
 
Law conditioner: if in a room with air conditioning is going to more
5 people, someone will definitely require him off!
Joke #20596 —  
 
0
 
- Today our guest is something stupid and inexplicable. Tell why
you are so stupid?
- I can not explain it!
Joke #20595 —  
 
0
 
Life Nightwish ...
Jukka not know such basic things as the name of the vocalist Guns `n` Roses.
He do not care as long to see him on this occasion not
priklepyvaetsya Mark ...
Riveted, Mark just does not lag behind. After walking on
illiteracy drummers, he finally shows that the name of this most
singer Axl Rose.
Jukka next day forget about this conversation, but Mark is
Interestingly, this is a name or nickname. With this question he
refers to the first person he meets. It turns Emppu. Emppu
said: "Nick, calm down. Let's go drink beer." Attempts to find out from
him, which means this alias, end in failure.
Then Mark goes to Tuomas, because he - the most intelligent. Tuomas long looks
in the sky, trying to draw parallels with the Bible then, that the works
Disney, the more s ... knows what, and then before it reaches that AXL
ROSE - an anagram ORAL SEX. Opening plunges him into despair ... Mark
Meanwhile, not behind. He needs to know what s ... had to take
such a nickname. Tuomas tells him: "You go b. .. Tarja".
... In this day consists Tarja could not be more successful. 's Boyfriend
made the proposal, the income from the last album is greater than
expected, and most importantly - in a kind of music. magazine printed that it is better
all known singers and singers. And in the middle of the sweet
thinking she hears a phone call. At the wire, Mark. He says:
"Tarja, you do not know why Axl Rose ..." - And Tarja, interrupting him,
zalivisto laughs and didactic tone of voice said: "Axl Rose SUCKS!!!"

punk
Joke #20594 —  
 
0
 
Put in the sale of new book
"How to stretch the pleasure or benefits start onanist"
Joke #20593 —  
 
0
 
... In Yugoslavia, syphilis peddler junk ...
Joke #20592 —  
 
0
 
In the store.
- It's you that?
- Map of the world.
- Then what is the U.S. doing to her?

www.keke.ru
Joke #20591 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311