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If I were a sultan, I would: had three wives; bought Russian arms, went to
retirement; bought from the prison to be closed.
Joke #22334 —  
 
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Estonians ask:
- What's the main thing in the car?
- Brake!
Joke #22333 —  
 
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Lose weight! Superdieta! Warranty graceful shapes and longevity! Kashchei
Bessmetrny.
Joke #22332 —  
 
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In order to break into Western markets 1S registered brand "1 Ass"
Joke #22331 —  
 
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1st axiom behalf of Anatoly Chubais: If you have not found very little money
the replacement of three transformers, it means that we found very high on
paying good bonuses.
Vitali Martynov
Joke #22330 —  
 
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- Our house is all about Dad. And who among us dad - solves mother.
Joke #22329 —  
 
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- Hello, this operation "Tide" or I have nowhere to sleep again.
Joke #22328 —  
 
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2020, after the final collapse of the EU in 2010 Latvia requires
compensation for unlawful accession to the EU, unconditional withdrawal
voisk NATO and the immediate deportation of the three-million Turks.
Joke #22327 —  
 
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- I'm tired of advertising! Here - "vest. It is better for a man "... Fools! For
men are better - yes.
Joke #22326 —  
 
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- African apes have invented a new way to collect bananas They employ
... working with Ukraine.
Joke #22325 —  
 
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- Recently Kramnik lost the computer 2 boxes of vodka, then
computer hangs ...
- Yeah, and hung in the apartment of Kramnik with 2 drawers vodka!
Joke #22324 —  
 
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- Boy, stop tinkering with a ballpoint pen in his nose, still not
will see what you've drawn.
Joke #22323 —  
 
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Putin VV dripped into the eyes ... and oh! shit - sight!
Turns Mosenergo headed biologist by training.
That's what I think. Whether to go to the doctor? Maybe there plumber in a dressing gown.
Joke #22322 —  
 
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Wife to her husband:
- My dear, you dreamed about?
- I have a dream, dear, about the sea, yacht, sun and ... you're next ... drown.
Joke #22321 —  
 
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- Fried potatoes in a tube.
- Big Mac in a tube.
- Soft toy ... In a tube.
- Days of space in "McDonalds"!
Joke #22320 —  
 
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They are the most popular car - a BMW, but we have - BMP. (Vasil
Lucas)
Joke #22319 —  
 
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Listen to his wife - and do the opposite. Listen to wife's mother - and do so
she never commanded. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #22318 —  
 
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"I - with you, because my parents did not use contraception! "
(R. Trachtenberg)
Joke #22317 —  
 
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- Stirlitz you bought for the Reich Chancellery Reich Stationery
Amenities?
- Yes, the standard of the Fuhrer, I bought the standard of the compass!
Joke #22316 —  
 
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- Indesit - will last a long time
- Elektorolyuks - Sweden made with the mind
- Moldovans, Tajiks, Uzbeks, we are working, you relax.
Joke #22315 —  
 
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The city opened a new field - a maternity hospital number 5.
Joke #22314 —  
 
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- In the village of Blue Lepegi passed a law on the ground. It reads: "Land
round. Began rioting and demonstrations.
Joke #22313 —  
 
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Kostya Tszyu was the letter "sic" ...
Joke #22312 —  
 
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Why do people die? Because God is a big theater-goer and was quickly bored by the same clowns.

Squirrel
Joke #22103 —  
 
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All personnel of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, urgent: Reliable sources report known that the centers of drug sales in cities of Russia located on the st. Lenina house 15, apartment 44. Objective: To establish a surveillance for the specified address, rewrite all incoming and outgoing. Notes: 1. st. Lenin is the central street (Prospect) Your town. 2. to improve the effectiveness of interventions not interfere with other persons to make entries in the specified address; respect the chain of command, not push. 3. to conspiracy to other person making the entries in the area, do not apply. If apply directly to you, respond that the word "flashmob" you do not know.
Joke #22102 —  
 
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Lilt of the animated film "80 Days Around the World": "The whole world in 80 days - with the passport! To Fogh married Belinda Mace - With a passport! "
Joke #22101 —  
 
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Example of female logic: a whole day waiting for a call from a loved one, suffer, where he got to be nervous, go crazy with obscurity, finally, to wait and, in response to: "Hello, darling!" - In hearts to throw up, so did not say anything! Oh, Women!
Joke #22100 —  
 
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- And foibles, the same Green H.. AEs with ears! - Thought Cheburashka. - And foibles, as H. Brown. AEs with ears! - Master Yoda thought ...
Joke #22099 —  
 
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He came in last in the last cabinet, took the last ticket, responded last question, has passed the final exam, looked at those present last look ... For the first time he felt that only begins to live.
Joke #22098 —  
 
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In the dark alley healthy ambal runs to the frail little man and screams: - Hello, do you know me? Guy: - No. Ambal, pulling from his pocket a huge knife: - Means the rich will not. $ @ mmy
Joke #22097 —  
 
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Two friends are flying on a plane with floats instead of wheels, the pilot comes landing at the airport, almost touching, then his friend frantically yelling: - On himself,#$%! This railway land! - And, yes, - he answered, taking a handle on himself and turns to the lake. Alight, hampers and says: - Fffuuuuh, thanks, reminded, and then b n @ # $ hard lis ... ... And goes straight into the water. Taken from www.f-16.net
Joke #22096 —  
 
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The woman - one man, but a bit too selfish.
Joke #22095 —  
 
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Woman comes to the sexologist. - Doctor, my husband's problem, a problem is a problem. Horror easy. - Well, face it. It is that, in the corridor? Embarrassed? Let not shy, comes. - No, the doctor, he is at home. He has a specific problem - nelezhanie member. He, therefore, even from home can not go. All worn out. - Oh, it's probably a chronic riser, yes, there is a problem. But you not be afraid. So I'll send you a prescription for a horse pacifier, let takes on the tablet in the morning. Warranty - the day just will not stand. - All day, yes, doctor? ... - Yes, the day is guaranteed, maybe two. - And, well, okay, once you assign it in the recipe please - take no more than once a month ... Omich
Joke #22094 —  
 
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One friend of another: - My husband, yesterday broke his jaw. - And what did you tell him so interesting?
Joke #22093 —  
 
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- Well, pretty, let's go skate! - Man, good pretending, pay for travel!
Joke #22092 —  
 
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Armenian Radio asked: Why is the description of the challenge Americans use the expression "pain in the ass", while Russian "head pain? "Armenian Radio answers: No wonder. To solve problems, each using its strongest side.
Joke #22091 —  
 
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Father - son: - If you ever lay a girl notice that her eyes glittering feverishly, her lips moist and sensual, and her body trembles as leaf in the wind - climbed off her and run ... This - malaria!
Joke #22090 —  
 
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- Tell me why Bonner and Novodvorskaya brush their teeth 5-6 times a day? - Because they often do a blowjob Basayev, the 3akaevu, and blowjob - is a special procedure for which you want to have a clean mouth (that why I never give in your mouth or Novodvorskaya nor Bonner, nor Politkovskaya - very mouths of their filthy, no "Akvafresh" not help)

- Tell me why 3akaev not buy toilet paper? - Because the language better than most Kovaleva vysosokachestvennoy toilet paper!

- Why 3akaev not use a shoe brush? - It's simple: when 3akaevu need to clean shoes, resorts Boria Stomakhin embossed shoe polish on his beard and Spanish adopted for the work.
Joke #22089 —  
 
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nightmare Chubais. In Moscow turned off the light, and outside in 1937
Joke #22088 —  
 
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Q: How do I translate the name of the American company "GENERAL ELECTRIC"? Answer: "CHUBAIS!
Joke #22086 —  
 
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In the Moscow region has risen sharply detection, all the past crimes cleared on Shamil Basayev
Joke #22085 —  
 
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> Every 3 years there is a new processor runs at 4 times faster > Previous. Every 3 years there is a new version of Windows, which runs 4 times Brake previous. Microsoft and Intel - for each other.
Joke #22084 —  
 
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-How do you think about masturbation? - I have two hands. Dunkin.
Joke #22083 —  
 
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Zadachka that a good programmer will decide in a couple of minutes, and a good physicist will go mad: Asya weighs 4.2 meters. How long does it downloaded if the channel width - 5 pounds per second?
Joke #22082 —  
 
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Blonde got married. The next day a friend asked: - You did not notice: he has a birthmark? - Birthmark? Yes, yes, there! He left it on the sheet.
Joke #22081 —  
 
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Chukcha comes home and asks his wife: but the tea was boiling boiled responsible wife. Chkcha tries tea it cold. Wife tea boiled boiled boiled. Tries cold. Wife tea boiled Boiled boiled. Chukcha takes the kettle and beats his wife. Wife and if boiled.
Joke #22080 —  
 
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She: it is all the beer you consume one! He: No, it's just a thirst for life.

(c) Sir, www.bnya.ru
Joke #22079 —  
 
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Amateur gardener comes to the store "The Garden and the garden" and, turning to salesgirl asks to show him a pear. Shopgirl: - Easy! Puff, vytaraschivaet eyes, lifts up his hands and begins sway from side to side. Voice-over: - Maria - a born mad.
Joke #22078 —  
 
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- Hello dear Mr. Muller! - You go to H. .. J, Stirlitz!

Genatsval
Joke #22077 —  
 
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If you gently falling rose petals, look, do not fly there after them pot.
Joke #22076 —  
 
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