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- Gentlemen Look what we have! We forget history. Get to example Erast Fandorin. We no longer call children Erast. - I do not know, I have not stopped. Th And they scratched my car?
Joke #24770 —  
 
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- Leh, my eye fell flagellum. - Come on, stamped.
Joke #24769 —  
 
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Tellingly, people are ready to endure three more times like that removed and tried Chubais.
Joke #24768 —  
 
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General Prosecutor's Office has downgraded the charge to Colonel Kvachkov with "attempted murder" to "negligence that led to large damage.
Joke #24767 —  
 
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Never Chubais was not so close to failure.
Joke #24766 —  
 
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After the interrogation in general prosecutor's office against Chubais has been made unprecedented security measure: subscribe to nevezde territory Russia. www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #24765 —  
 
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May 25 passed the first round of the program for the integration of Moscow in Russia.
Joke #24764 —  
 
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At the reception at the ophthalmologist: - My dear, how you do to get here! NewRUSSIAN.COM
Joke #24763 —  
 
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A young man carrying a huge bouquet of roses. Meets his friend, who asks: - Where are you going? - I'm going to ask the hand of my daughter's head. - Which? After all, he has two daughters. - Do not know yet. If he has a good mood, then the youngest. If bad - will have to take over. NewRUSSIAN.COM
Joke #24762 —  
 
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Best vacation - in the country, in the shade, reclining, looking at how the sweat persons working neighbors.
Joke #24761 —  
 
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Mom celebrant announces guests: - We've got a lot of prizes: for best song, a poem, for rhyme ... A special prize - a whole box of "Snickers" - will he among you who first to go home! NewRUSSIAN.COM
Joke #24760 —  
 
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It (opening the door): - My dear, are you home? He: - Yes, I'm home .. good that you came. I decided to make you proposal - let's go tomorrow morning and will submit a statement! She: - Finally! And why are you so drunk, then that? That's tomorrow morning protrezveesh again change your mind. He: - No, no .. Just no. She: - Just do not change your mind? He: - I can not exactly sober ..
Joke #24759 —  
 
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Interview with Dima Verner.

Q: And it happens that in one day, several identical new jokes sent?

Dima: It happens. Here, for example about the NumLock on or off elektoenergii in Moscow immediately sent 13 different authors.
Joke #24758 —  
 
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Mykola Tomenko admitted that after the army has not unlearn used obscene language.

Comments Newspapers: 5th channel: Tomenko replied "yes, I swear obscenities" 1 +1: Tomenko used obscene language in a live broadcast Inter: Tomenko encourages young people more used obscene language TRK Ukraine: Tomenko mat swore Donetsk ORT: Yushchenko sent the Russians to x $ j lenta.ru: Yulia Tymoshenko in her youth was shot in porno films.
Joke #24757 —  
 
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At a gas station, price list 95y - NO 93rd - NO DT - NO and the top poster Yushchenko - TAK!

http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #24756 —  
 
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Yeltsin loves volleyball and tennis, Putin - judo and downhill skiing, as well Yushchenko, of course, fencing, and beekeeping.
Joke #24755 —  
 
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"Learn! Learn! Learn! "(Vladimir Lenin). "Why?" Why? Why? "(Roman Zvarych).
Joke #24754 —  
 
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If the German Volkswagen makes cars for people, it seems Russia creates VAZ cars for employees service stations.
Joke #24753 —  
 
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Russia's sheep genetics to plant genes of the spider in the hope that sheep wool will be the quality of the same strong and resilient as Wide Web, and if the wool does not change, but the sheep will run on the walls and cobweb in the corners, then the sheep will buy up the whole party for the new Spielberg kina ..... Business can not lose ...
Joke #24752 —  
 
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Loaf rolls through the forest, and to meet him Fox. Gingerbread says: - Fox say "A" - well, Fox and said: - A -, a loaf in the answer: - Cock on. Rolls on, and to meet him wolf: - Wolf say "A" - fuck on. He rolls on, and meet him a bear. Bear say "A", and the bear says: What? - Cock in the ass right? - A Gingerbread says: - Fuck you on!
Joke #24751 —  
 
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Poor hacker! He hoped that the FSB will be able to ping it, and its zapelingovali.
Joke #24749 —  
 
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Blonde enters into the back of another car. From there, the driver gets out and asks:

- Have you ever passed the driving test? - Of course, the goat! And unlike you many times!
Joke #24748 —  
 
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Man-jack of all trades, mistress of all female lips.
Joke #24747 —  
 
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Law sound. Major. "Just scream and all your decibel" Reverse law. Sound. "Try to be quiet and you have yourself become decibels"
Joke #24746 —  
 
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Site stomotologicheskoy clinic: WWW.Zubov.net
Joke #24745 —  
 
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The acquaintance of a Russian girl and a young Armenian man. - Your name? - My name is Katya Petrova. Or simply "Sweet store. - And my name is Khachik Mikoyan. Or "Just delicious sosika"
Joke #24744 —  
 
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New toilet paper from the "Merry podtiralschika! Now with a new third layer, absorbs odors!
Joke #24743 —  
 
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Inspired ryklamoy ... Insert new Tampax and died of dehydration ...
Joke #24742 —  
 
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in dogonku anecdote
Joke #24741 —  
 
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If Khodorkovsky is money not spent on children's homes, and on bribes
Kremlin officials - would not be sitting now in prison.
PS Freedom Yuri Detochkin!
Joke #24740 —  
 
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In the warm season of beautiful girls in the street hundreds of times
than in the cold. Paradox. After that most girls tezhe and winter))

It is noticed that in the warm season, the body men are more prone to
injury as a squint, his neck injury and overexcitement (boiling).
Firs stick. How many beautiful women
Joke #24739 —  
 
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Overgrown son asks his father:
- Dad, and I can already get married?
Father, waving from his son-idiot:
- That's when dick to Sraka able to get, then you can marry!
Through time brooding son comes to his father and said:
- Dad, a dick to Sraka gets! Toko question: Haha me then get married?
Joke #24738 —  
 
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Real podglyad in Odessa beach: A man drinks a glass of longingly
Chilled beer, looking somewhere beyond the horizon and says:
- How, damn, well, when damn well!
Joke #24737 —  
 
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A little unseemly, but fun:

Call sysadmin sysadmin.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- EBUS!
- On what?
Joke #24736 —  
 
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Darling, go-ka in the shower!
Joke #24734 —  
 
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Molotov cocktail that is anti-ruff.

Quantum.
Joke #24733 —  
 
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Sponsor contracts between Maniche, Costinha, Seitaridis and Moscow
Dynamo made by the Office of traffic police of the West and South-West SA, the
Moscow.
Joke #24732 —  
 
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On the geography lesson, the teacher asks a pupil to show on the world map Africa.
Disciple: - Easy!
Wearing a mask painted on his head in ostrich feathers and bone beads
neck, breaking pointer, breaking a world map into small pieces and starts
rasplyasyvat around the teacher's wild dancing, accompanying all this heart-rending
screaming and drumming on the globe, both on the drum.
Voice-over: - Maria - a born African-American.
Joke #24731 —  
 
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How and from what stroyut vertical of power - in steel, stone, concrete, bottom
up? The answer: no, from the tree. From spetsdereva. Genealogical. And --
cverhu down: top - main course, lower his son, then a smaller
head and lower his son, and so to the bottom until you get to those and
crush do not mind.
Joke #24730 —  
 
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Yesterday, in a duel for the right to participate in the match with CSKA met
Italian "Milan" and English "Liverpool".
Joke #24729 —  
 
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Dishonest people unmasks, but honest - at muddy.
Joke #24728 —  
 
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Was the month of May. Soon the last call ...
Tens of thousands of graduates leave school, they become family houses for
many years of agonizing conclusion.
Minister of Education rejoice for the poor teachers, spihnuvshih from their
overworked shoulders uncontrollable hordes of troubled teens and rigid
Dunces who started smoking before the walk, and that sniff out
much glue on the domestic market has encountered its deficit,
and heave a sigh of relief. Then the minister will remember the poor teachers
higher education institutions, on whose shoulders tired out many perch
of yesterday's graduates, and breathe again, but sad at the thought of
raising admission requirements.
Minister of Internal Affairs will compare the number of graduates with the number of
vacant seats in subordinate correctional facilities, remembers
numerous criminal groups, whose ranks are waiting for reinforcements, heavy
sigh to myself and say a few kind words addressed to the Minister
education, thinking about reducing the requirements for entering school
police.
Minister of Defense will compare the number of graduates annually
a shortage of recruits and sighed, holding back the joy. He
remember the price for training in higher education, about the competition in
those where teaching shareware, says a lot about myself
really warm words addressed to the Minister of Education, and again
sigh at the thought of reducing the requirements for health
conscripts.
Health Minister familiar with the statistics of various diseases
and deviations among school leavers, doomed breath and think about
lowering the level of normal performance of health graduates.
Minister ...
Young everywhere in our way.
Joke #24727 —  
 
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- Well, you, a tailor, got drunk yesterday!
- Strongly?
- Yeah! String inserted into a pair of scissors!
Joke #24726 —  
 
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Builds once in the morning Melkor his generals, and his hands behind
back, with a gloomy view of walks to build:
- Confess, who yesterday had stolen from my cellar, cask zdravura?
Those sheepishly silent.
- Taak ... Who stole from the parking service dragon?
Dead silence ...
- Finally! What a drunken idiot was flying all night over Mordor, and yelled:
"I fear flying on Anything"?
Joke #24725 —  
 
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EUROFOOTBALL
From a report by the final match AC Milan - Liverpool FC.

Today, AC Milan will not play in their traditional, dirty
mud, sweat and blood of black and red uniform, but in pure white. Liverpool
to spite the enemy acts in T-shirt, blood-red color, and this time,
seems, in his underpants. Skin color players of both teams opted
masking. The game started! Temperamental British attack
cold-blooded Italians: Finn Sami Huyupya dangerous struck the gate, but
Brazilian Dida tightly caught the ball. But the Italians, too, were not born boards:
severe blow to the Ukrainian Shevchenko filing Brazilian Kaka fell
Dutchman Clarence Sedorfu below the belt! .. Again beautiful attack
English: Czech, Jerzy Dudek knocks the ball in the field of English countryman Milan
Baros, he threw the ball head Scandinavians John Arne Riise, but he further --
under attack British partners, who this time was a Spaniard Luis
Garcia ... A pity that the Spaniard struck a very bad blow, and then the British
could equalize ... Once again the British in the attack: the Spaniard Luis Garcia
shot the ball on the Basque Xavi Alonso and Czech Smicer strike from 20-meters and
made by 3:2! ... In the attack is dominated by the English - Xavi Alonso, Luis
Garcia, John Arne Riise ... Finally Englishman Milan Baros managed
circle Dutch Italian Jaap Stam ... But the Italian Serginho in
beats drove the ball straight at the feet of the Englishman Steven Gerrard, he
stumbles on the ball and put it on purely English requires
appoint a 11-meter! English Basque Alonso after rebound
finishes 11-meter at the gate of the Italian Brazilian Dida ... 3.3!
After the break, play resumed. Brazilian Kaka hung on the Dane
Jon Dahl Tomasson, but he did not reached for the ball. In ending the British
continue to aggressively attack: now the German Dietmar Hamann acute
played on the African Djibril Cisse, but again a mess of things ... British
pressured more and more. We must do something! Can "Milan" to release on the field
Italian strategic reserve: Georgian Kakha Kaladze and Portuguese
Rui Costa? ... There is last minute of the match. The British and Italians attacked
internationalized small forces, as well as on the field nor the British nor
Italians, nor the strength for a long time is left ... In this mess penalty
inevitable! And now - penalty! Italian Brazilian misses gate
English Czech and English to Italian Brazilian African slaughters,
Italian Dane scored English Czech, Czech scores the Brazilian
Italian Ukrainian of this nonsense is going crazy and defiantly
beats ... in the bar! This is - victory! British rejoice! Cup in the hands of the British
- A great national victory of the English people! Finally
want to congratulate the purebred English fans, shake hands
Spanish judge and stroke Turkish lawn, which on that fateful day
was down around the Italian people ...
Joke #24724 —  
 
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- What are the similarities between economic growth in Russia and the planet Pluto?
- No one has seen them, but suschestovanie proved using complex
Computing
Joke #24723 —  
 
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Recently, in Moscow to conclude a major terrorist attack, known as
"End of the world."
Liability assumed organization "Martyrs of Vladivostok."
Joke #24722 —  
 
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During the interrogation, the prosecutor's office was invited to Chubais to take additional
the blame for the massive corruption of minors graduates, flash
fertility rates among them, as well as compensation to build
nine-month period of kindergartens in the southern and south-eastern district due
of RAO UES
Joke #24721 —  
 
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As stated by the Ministry of Defense, in connection with the emergency shutdown
Electricity came a small fault in the control center
Strategic Missile Forces. In this regard, Minister
Defense apologized to residents of the North American continent and
promised that Russia will be allocated 2 million dollars for decontamination
former territory of the United States.
Joke #24720 —  
 
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Blog entry Tymoshenko (25.05.2005):
1 - Send two Electrik in Moscow.
2 - eat a lemon, so no one guessed.
Joke #24719 —  
 
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