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New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

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In connection with the trial of Michael Jackson, Barmalei sent a pop star my sincere condolences. As it turned out, Michael is also no need not marmalade not chocolate ...
Joke #25975 —  
 
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You feed her husband the same as what you eat yourself? Well that's you! Food from your table is not suitable husband. Introducing the new dry food for big men "doggy". But it contains all the necessary vitamins and minerals. See how her husband's bald head shines! And as he frolics with his secretary! Well and in the darkness just a healthy man.

Recommended best muzhikovodami and man-vodka in Russia.
Joke #25974 —  
 
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Predsedatel funeral committee in the Soviet Union is the next General Secretary at the Vatican-pope.
Joke #25973 —  
 
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Word-not a sparrow, and multiparticle-forty.
Joke #25972 —  
 
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- Do you imagine it: the Pope was a Hitler-Jugend! - So what's wrong with that? We also met Putin in the Komsomol.
Joke #25971 —  
 
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- Doctor, I have a bad memory. What do I do? - Boxing! - And my memory will be better? - No, but fewer will laugh.
Joke #25970 —  
 
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- Why did the ancient Slavs on the doors did not lock. Then that is not steal? - Stealing. Just lock was worth more than what was in the house.
Joke #25969 —  
 
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In the Orthodox church invades a group of young men in masks crocodile which protrude from under the long sidelocks: - Everybody stand! This circumcision! http://rafos.h11.ru
Joke #25968 —  
 
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In the forests of Russia is found about 16 thousand species of animals. One only mosquitoes - 15 and a half thousand species! www.skala-city.ru
Joke #25967 —  
 
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Tsereteli sculptured monument to Ahmad Kadyrov. Ramzan vowed to avenge his father ...
Joke #25966 —  
 
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Vatican is suspected of anti-Semitism. Chose a new pope - and again not a Jew!
Joke #25965 —  
 
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The new Pope is considered one of the most educated scholars: he heard somewhere that the world was not created by God.
Joke #25964 —  
 
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Announcement: We find a gold earring. Lost, please give a second for remuneration.
Joke #25963 —  
 
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On the street randomly vstrechyutsya friends who had not seen for 20 years. - And you did not change, all the same chew the cud. - No, no, that I have long spat ...
Joke #25962 —  
 
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CCCP, 50th years. American tourist decided to drink carbonated water. Suitable for the automatic rifle, throwing three kopecks, waiting. Automatic pozhuzhzhal, coughed and nothing. American still throws a coin - Nifiga. Another coin - The same effect. He stood, turnips scratched and thinks: And that's an idea!
Joke #25961 —  
 
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If you are a true Muscovite: 1. you have been in many cities around the world, but your knowledge of geography native country is limited within the Garden Ring 2. you consider yourself smarter than others on the grounds that they are born in Moscow 3. you are furious that a city called cultural capital, despite the fact that your rudeness Moscow is already known outside our motherland 4. you are proud of their education, buying a Moscow high school diploma, although your level of education and not more than 5 years of schooling. 5. the meaning of your life - to drink beer and fight at a football match 6.vy think Krasnoyarsk Krai region, and think that it is on the Black Sea 7.vy navyarnyaka know that the streets of Siberian cities Bears roam (possibly even white) 8. you after guests left unfinished wine merges back into the bottle and will treat them the next time. 9. Do you hate the phrase "Russia and Moscow," Moscow and cities of Russia, "Moscow is not Russia, although they are all essentially true. 10. you besyat immigrants from Russia in Moscow, because they are smarter than you and take on the work of the best posts. 13. After reading this your only desire was to meet the author at street and fill his face. then obkuritsya and realize themselves most cultured, educated and intelligent in the whole world. 14. you do not even understand that this is only a fraction of the truth Muscovites.
Joke #25960 —  
 
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To the guests it was inconvenient for you to linger, we must all seats in house to decorate what some exotic skins. Best of all -- abrasive.
Joke #25959 —  
 
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Courtroom, Judge: Well, the defendant, as they say, you the plaintiff ...
Joke #25958 —  
 
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Advertising: I planted cyanide in the liver, and now mom and dad longer do not argue about taste and benefits.
Joke #25957 —  
 
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two guys see a girl on a crowded bus: - Look, do not parrot, and peach - Yeah, exactly, peach She turns: - Move over, please, and I here a citizen in a peach straight face breathe!
Joke #25956 —  
 
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When asked why Y. Tymoshenko did not come to Moscow, she replied that better itself will put ...
Joke #25955 —  
 
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Dasha Ass, Nastia parish and Ksyusha dogs gathered once. And well, suitors boast. "My, - says Dasha - producer. Horror films shoots. With first glance at my fuse. In the month of a million tanks have. A Nastya: My boyfriend is building skyscrapers. And collecting. From me no mind. Ten lemons him a month out. Ksyushechka-darling looked at them and said, lowering her eyes: and my tent in the works. Hundred million a month comes ". "Al what's the Tent this? -- Dasha became nervous than he was in such trades? "" Yes, little bit of everything pritorgovyvaet - modestly replied Ksyusha - as the name of ... well, forever tent is left behind ... ... ... tent right now. " Tapped her fingers on the ivory mobile phone, said something and happily chirped: Counting! "

Boris Usherenko
Joke #25954 —  
 
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I wonder what a disgusting smoke when the cardinals ~ Selects the Pope? Smoke it black, then white ... And the quality, type, lousy, judging by whom chosen ...
Joke #25953 —  
 
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Dictator to note: if you want all the people lived in the same large concentration camp, to give due attention to protecting the public border.
Joke #25952 —  
 
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Obkurilas patsanva grass and began to embroider the city by car. They are going to
vstrechke, neigh, make fun, anecdote
Joke #25951 —  
 
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- What does the Duma?
- Legislation.
- And when the work will be?
Joke #25950 —  
 
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- You Party?
- No, I - a non-partisan ...
- Imp!? Even worse ...
Joke #25949 —  
 
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- And who is he to the profession?
- Writer.
- Um, and that he was writing: prose, poetry ...
- Laws!
Joke #25948 —  
 
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(A slightly belated)
Q: Favorite movie Russian Catholics?
Answer: "The Diamond Hand" with the phrase son Semen Semenovich: "We accompany
Pa-ah-dee! "

Balde
Joke #25947 —  
 
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Take care of honor in his youth, and pay again.
But if clothes still dirty by not imagine how you
incredibly lucky. Warning Waiting for you stunning career in
sex industry.
Joke #25946 —  
 
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Collectively tried to translate into Russian Add Item. Translation "vpendyur
hrenovinu "was recognized as the most accurate.
Joke #25945 —  
 
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Like and ugly, disrespectful, that the Ukrainian prime minister called
Julia just ...
But on the other hand, a rare freak call Fradkov - Misha!

http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #25944 —  
 
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Remember the name of the new Pope, simply: Rat - rat, zinger --
sewing machine
Joke #25943 —  
 
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They have digitized the tape and post it online.
See the new thriller in theaters Ring 3
Joke #25942 —  
 
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- What position prefer Russian women?
- Face to GUM.
Joke #25941 —  
 
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Issue of the Armenian radio: "How do you treat women policemen? "
Answer: "Wah, daragoy, beat bi our will on the streets were beaten bi only such
bust-iteli order! "

www.xaxaxa.ru
Joke #25940 —  
 
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On the roofs of Stockholm found a variety Carlson Emma. When
slightest opastnosti hides its head in the jam.
Joke #25939 —  
 
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You hereby milkmaid from Muhosranska, if you think that:
1. These are cast-offs of Petersburg, bought in the village store in your
Muhosranske.
2. NkT beer, as the machine operators from your farm in Muhosranske, but not
cognac, brandy, and occasionally sake.
3. Like you have never been to Moscow.
4. Like you, suffer from an inferiority complex about the fact where they
live.
Joke #25938 —  
 
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"Even if you're a little over thirty-On, it is hoped to marry, amuzh for
Prince ... "- sang Camilla Parker Bowles, trying on a wedding dress ...
Joke #25937 —  
 
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I am very curious person. So many Lovers, as I did not know anybody!
Joke #25936 —  
 
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Accounting anecdote: If the CD. rides, the DA fuck. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #25935 —  
 
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The combination of a single finger even more eloquent than the combination of
3 fingers. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #25934 —  
 
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Proverb, "The word - silver, but silence - gold confirmed at
competition in the Japanese language by our members. They took the gold. (Vasil
Lucas)
Joke #25933 —  
 
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Under the clock protection taken by the Central kobzonary.
Violating this word to them, eminent denizen memorial
always comes out different angles and front-line songs deters
visitors.
Joke #25932 —  
 
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Since 1922 the program was waiting for his upgrade. Despite all the efforts
Developers she received a 16-bit. So her and called "Pope Benedict
XVI ".
Joke #25931 —  
 
0
 
The lessons of childhood never go wrong! Thus the practice of the 43rd year of course
helped prompt the current Pope Cardinals One True
Select.
Joke #25930 —  
 
0
 
See picture of "The Cossacks writing a letter to the Sultan of Turkey" (in translation
Goblin).
Joke #25929 —  
 
0
 
There are both about 2 veteran 2nd World War: Russian and German.
We sat down, drank, remembered old times.
German:
- Well, as life, work, family?? Story.
Russian:
- Yeah. We live quietly.
And do you like??
German:
- That so ... the other day so the Pope is elected.

ZOLTAN
Joke #25928 —  
 
0
 
In terms of primates, there is nothing to ennoble monkeys as
the evolution of Homo Sapiens.
Joke #25927 —  
 
0
 
The old woman turns to the athlete:
- My son, do not podskazhesh where is the nearest pharmacy?
- Pharmacy vooon there, around the corner.
- And to the corner in the distance?
- Just do not know. But if struggling to escape to spike, then it will not
next ten seconds ...
Joke #25926 —  
 
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