Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
- What are the similarities of problems repairing old cars and politics?
- It's hard to unscrew the twisted nuts.
Joke #26230 —  
 
0
 
- What are you, with all the girls that you hang on the wall, slept?
- And what, all ten shelves of books in his re-read?
Joke #26229 —  
 
0
 
on the Matrix ...

Spoons do not exist, ... forks, apparently, too ... and how to eat it?
Oh no, I choose the Matrix!
Joke #26228 —  
 
0
 
- What kind of car should have every self-respecting Jew-programmer?
- BMW 7:40. Il
Joke #26227 —  
 
0
 
Say that the Goblin creative crisis ...
??
He tried to translate into English Luka Mudischeva ...

Stella
Joke #26226 —  
 
0
 
- Shura, you're like a rose tsvetesh! Flush and burns on your cheeks.
- Ah, leave! Lieutenant Rzhevskij I just told another
Hussars anecdote.
Joke #26225 —  
 
0
 
- It is necessary to cause Customizer.
- And what we have with the piano?
- Salt primer.
- How many times have I said that do not render the piano in the dining table!
Joke #26223 —  
 
0
 
- Head-ka my alarm for 6 hours.
- Morning or evening?
- Perhaps, evening: I have decided how to sleep.
Joke #26222 —  
 
0
 
The wife of the new Russian reads "Garnet Bracelet" Kuprin.
Included husband:
- Are you about this dream? Let's go to the jewelry, pick something abruptly.
Joke #26221 —  
 
0
 
The wife of the new Russian husband asked her to reduce the Operetta Theater.
- Why do you want "The Violet of Montmartre"? - Outraged husband .- I will invite home
Alla Pugachev, and she will sing to you "Million scarlet roses.
Joke #26220 —  
 
0
 
Management McDonald's in Russia decided in addition to Mack and Beak Creek
Mack introduce a purely Russian national product: Ouch Puig Mack.
Joke #26219 —  
 
0
 
In good company vodka is going.
Joke #26218 —  
 
0
 
Excited husband to his wife:
- Come on Let us now fast spontaneous sex!
Wife, yawning:
- First, do not fast, and measured ... Secondly, not now, but
tomorrow ... Maybe ...
Joke #26217 —  
 
0
 
Advertising on TV: The largest toilet-Air Year! Day molotezhki Stadium
Kirov! ..
Joke #26215 —  
 
0
 
- No, now in vogue big noses shoes
- Yes, you know ... just did nassatye?
Joke #26214 —  
 
0
 
- Listen, you have such a classroom toilet paper.
- Yes, recently there bought a ... treated.
Joke #26213 —  
 
0
 
Interestingly, what we have for the country if the whole Estrada - homosexuals, all
animals - zoophilia, and all children - pedophiles?
Joke #26212 —  
 
0
 
Why Hillary Clinton wants to become president of USA?
It simply has no choice, it is necessary to avenge the wrong husband
- With the intern in the Oval Office!
Alex V
Joke #26211 —  
 
0
 
A pessimist believes that oil on earth will end in 10-15 years.
An optimist believes that enough oil is still very long time.
The realist knows that the matter is not oil.

(
Joke #26210 —  
 
0
 
- Why are you opposed to buy this lamp? He's very
Recalls lamppost under which we'll agree to date.
- Just remember: if you buy it, I'll look at it and whine.
Joke #26209 —  
 
0
 
- They say you wife on a vacation to the White Sea. Very original!
- At first, I was offered to relax the Black Sea, but she was used to
opposite.
Joke #26208 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- What is a motherboard?
Answer: This is the amount contributed by Chinese women for the right to become a mother.
Joke #26207 —  
 
0
 
He was a wild man, and always cast women ... on his bed.
Joke #26206 —  
 
0
 
They come on the trail border violator. Suddenly human footprints
ended and went to the cow. Everything is clear, wants to confuse the trail. Ran on
cow. EXCURSION to the meadow, look, a herd of cows grazing and sitting
shepherd. Run up to it:
- Grandpa, can you tell what someone else's cow?
- Yes for sure. Won the one second from the right.
- And how do you it different from others?
- Yes, very simple. Suits it to me and asked:
- Grandpa, how to get to the train station?
- Then I realized, then our cows know where the railway station.
Joke #26205 —  
 
0
 
Kazimir Malevich decided to write "White square on a white background, but
On reflection, I decided not to complicate ...
Joke #26204 —  
 
0
 
Emotional state affects driver safety, and
emotional state cop - to his cost.
Joke #26203 —  
 
0
 
Recently near Moscow Gorbushka pirates held a demonstration rally
the shouts of the crowd crushing bulldozer about a thousand licensed discs.
Joke #26202 —  
 
0
 
A guy comes into a brothel.
- Hello, and who's your best fuck brains?
-??
- You know, my wife went away on a business trip. Missed.
Joke #26201 —  
 
0
 
- Want to have a beautiful slender figure in the spring?
- Yes that by the spring, in the old days I could in one night fuck
once two distinct beautiful slender figure.
Joke #26200 —  
 
0
 
On Friday, most often want to drink.
On Monday, most want Friday.
Joke #26199 —  
 
0
 
~ ~ ~
Joke #26065 —  
 
0
 
- What is the main reason for the division of "United Russia"? - One part of the "United Russia" believes that amerikosam should lick heel, and the second part considers that amerikosam should lick ass. In Anyway that negress that recently came to Moscow, had otlizat both.
Joke #25994 —  
 
0
 
- Why is divided "United Russia"? - "United Russia" is divided into two parts because one part believes that it is necessary to fight against extremism and anti-Semitism and has already done a circumcision, and the other part, too, believes that must fight against the patriots, but do yourself a circumcision is not yet solved.
Joke #25993 —  
 
0
 
The lesson of English in school - How would - English windowsill? - ...... PodWindows
Joke #25992 —  
 
0
 
Leo: - I'm the king of beasts! I can choke an elephant! Sparrow: - I'm a little bird. Can Boeing flunk.
Joke #25991 —  
 
0
 
After the revolution, the most popular names were Vladlen and the Revolution, and now - Eshkobar and Zhadi. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #25990 —  
 
0
 
And along the way mentovye with braids standing ... (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #25989 —  
 
0
 
Ad in the newspaper: "Model Agency announces a set of group training: - Podium models ".
Joke #25988 —  
 
0
 
- Do you like onions? - Up to tears!
Joke #25987 —  
 
0
 
Pope Carlo summoned to the school about the bad behavior Pinocchio. After listening notations Pope asked: - Well, and mental development as it is? - Frankly, ... oak-oak tree! - E! Do not tell me! Karelian birch?
Joke #25986 —  
 
0
 
- How do you think will happen if the process of converting rights invisibility not reach the end? - Exhibit for a sex shop.

Red guerrillas.
Joke #25985 —  
 
0
 
- Mom! Pope on the river with fish poison! - What are fish? In our river no fish ... - I do not know, but neighbors say that the bottle brush!
Joke #25984 —  
 
0
 
"sibazol - pozabottes about your dandruff!
Joke #25983 —  
 
0
 
The original methods of conquest of foreign lands:

1 - Trojan. Main time gift horse 2 - German. Gather more troops and forward 3 - Ancient Armenian. Give her daughter to a neighbor and then announce his land "ancient Armenian land"

CONSUL
Joke #25982 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian Radio: What does it mean if the church is Sekstinskogo Black smoke? The answer: If there is black smoke, it means only one - there nachilsya fire!
Joke #25981 —  
 
0
 
Continuing the theme about Peter: In Moscow, people have hemorrhoids, and in St. Petersburg Lead bol.
Joke #25980 —  
 
0
 
What is the difference between Rome Catholic and Rome, pagan?

In pagan Rome, the senator could become a horse.

In Rome, the Catholic Pope was a German shepherd dog (German shepherd).

PS In English, the word Shepherd and pastor are the same ...
Joke #25979 —  
 
0
 
They lived in pupik pupik.
Joke #25978 —  
 
0
 
Well-known religious authority of Russia Alexy II gave to the Pope Rome warm greetings from the entire Orthodox Tale.
Joke #25977 —  
 
0
 
Protocol

Costavlen that citizen NP being under the weather contrived udelat elephant.
Joke #25976 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311