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Now the worst anecdote
Joke #26797 —  
 
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We, the Emperor and operator of All Russia, small and Udobnyya, Mobilnyya and
Karmannyya, Simensovyya and Nokia, commands:
* Place the machine everywhere spoken epithet "telehvon. Miracle of these things
compact stomelodno, polyphonic, and mischievous caller.
* Pagers boyars hack, but instead of them Dutch, and chuhonsky
German style telehvony neck wear. Or at the Australian fashion
telehvony in a bag worn on the belt Aki kangaroo.
* Wives of knights telehvonov not give, so talkative their royal
ehvir not clogged.
* Blondes telehvonov not to especially since they are his talkative
female knights exceed many times. And if someone blonde telehvon
willing, to head hack. And those blondes that orders will be discussed,
shave nalyso telehvony and then give.
* Who cellular handset is wanting chmom calls and such cases do not have.
* Waste to half a mile, in a voice not yelling, but on telehvonu call and yell
the tube.
* The hair in the ears of shaving a German-style, in order to hear the conversation and
understand.
* Charge spoken typewriter every night to have Covo battery
Ni-MH.
* Keep telehvon along with other ammunition vest on under his belt
beside a male Ali dignity.
* On calls to answer smartly and say only what is, and not
lie. OK?
* Send each other SMS-dispatches, for which literacy learning and fingers
thick to bend.
* For the common people give a call up to 6 seconds. Yes to all
razobyasnit time to master, but wasting money is not squandered it.
* The clerks on duty all telehvonnye tapped, and if that
indecency on the state will say - the local report to the head.
* Your PIN to remember as "Our Father", and if the Emperor asked,
shalt not speak haltingly. And if this is not, then put that PIN
stamped on his forehead. A telehvon away however.
* And who in time taxes at his own expense will not - turn off mercilessly. In
me!
* And who the tube during the royal conversation zapischit, beat to the feet
royal 50 strokes and complaining about a bruise with a generous hand with the king's shoulder.
* Those Herod kotoryya drown your mobile telehvon in place latrine,
Well there beard dunk and not cut their beards. Telehvony same three days to dry and
Every day deodorant squirt - personally my advice. I made tacos --
exceedingly well.
* In order to become the operator of the Life-cellular communication, one must first visit
Holland, where diligently and with full zeal to comprehend the art
tariffing.
* The departure of overseas training must have a roaming certainly,
so that it can make a checkup.
* Rossiyskim approve a banner tsiferny. And all analog consider
unclean and to eliminate mercilessly.
* And the last. Poly esm well, Besides from a call from the film "Boomer"
really sick of it fairly.
Joke #26571 —  
 
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And among the slow-witted people meet frivolous.
Joke #26569 —  
 
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They say that not all cancers come to beer - only those that are asleep.
Joke #26568 —  
 
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In Ukrainian prisons:
- I played for Kuchma.
- I opposed
- I Kuchma ........
Joke #26567 —  
 
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Vegetarianism - a system of views on the meat, where meat is not,
but be of flesh - can be.
Joke #26566 —  
 
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Announcement: Pharmacies require a pharmacist, not a schmuck Earful!
Joke #26565 —  
 
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If the horse tells you that you are crazy, it's true.
Joke #26564 —  
 
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One day, American scientists conducted a poll: "In what jail you would like
live: with or without furniture? With Head-Republican or
Democrat?

It was found that:
49% want the warden was a Democrat, 50% - Republican
99% want the furniture was in prison
1% wanted to live in freedom
Joke #26563 —  
 
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- My wife always compares me with Alain Delon.
- Yes, between you have nothing in common!
- So she said ..
Joke #26562 —  
 
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Jews living in Israel, but do business in Russia, asking:
- Moishe, not bored you wander back and forth? Have already lived in Israel, and
doing business there.
- Taki no. There I would have to visit% Jews. It would be very
difficult business.
Otto
Joke #26561 —  
 
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... It was the men's 364-th day in a row ...
Joke #26560 —  
 
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It is the seller in the market, trading with the machine. April. Sales are sluggish.
Manufacturers to enhance sales start advertising on TV.
Consumers remember the ad very ... selectively.
Pokupatel1: - Do you have irons with sapphires?
...
Pokupatel2: - Do you have irons with diamonds?
...
Pokupatel3: - Do you have irons with diamonds?
...
The seller, thinking: - This exotic we do not. But there is an affordable
costs for each household irons coated stainless steel, with
Steam, high quality ...
Joke #26559 —  
 
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Arrested Gongadze's case began davt testimony. Kuchma gave
order to tear Gongadze eggs and assholes-isponiteli all mixed up
and approached the body on the other side. And then justifying themselves before the patron:
Georgians will soon present itself otoravt Bosko than eggs. eggs.
Joke #26558 —  
 
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During the regular monthly meeting in the Kremlin, Putin announced Ben
Lazar on the status of anti-Semitism in Russia. Ben Lazar said
that the level of anti-Semitism in the past month declined slightly, but
work should be strengthened. In conclusion, Ben Lazar thanked Putin
for improving antirussizma in Russia.
Joke #26557 —  
 
0
 
- What happened to the benefits to veterans, pensioners, students and military?
- They monetezirovalis.
Joke #26556 —  
 
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What government does not feed - but it still looks to the West.
Joke #26555 —  
 
0
 
In the United States is developing a program sharing donor organs, as new
way of emigration.
Joke #26554 —  
 
0
 
Two most notorious president in the world:

Buschenko with Yushem
Joke #26553 —  
 
0
 
She was very like his father ... especially breast.
Joke #26552 —  
 
0
 
At babtsa and the beast running ...
or in other words: if you want a holiday group Beasts? not a question --
pay ...
Joke #26551 —  
 
0
 
I read the word libido vice versa. A lot of thought.
http://rafos.h11.ru
Joke #26550 —  
 
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- Kuma! You dyvys ... Wuxi pass from nashy For a fraction of a fraction
Some communists are not rolling! From fellows!
- So they wanted to go ... Already and Zyuganov agree! But Gryzlov
KATEGORCHESKI AGAINST!
Joke #26549 —  
 
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About advertising intimate products.
... I realized that from this multiple orgasm heavenly delight
deep penetration, but why - INSERT FOR DRILL??
Joke #26548 —  
 
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Piskun told about the death of former interior minister Kravchenko, whom he
planned to interview today and said that on Monday he expects to
questioning Lytvyn, on Tuesday and on Wednesday Volkova Derkach, well, and finally in
Thursday Kuchma http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #26547 —  
 
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Piskun drove to the cottage to Kravchenko and found him lifeless in the hallway
body in a pool of blood.
"Hang" - thought Piskun, and kicking a bloody ax.
http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #26546 —  
 
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Once Zhirinovsky Nemcova poured orange juice.
That since he started ...
http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #26545 —  
 
0
 
Manicure salon "Freddy Krueger". (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #26544 —  
 
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A great gift to the beautiful half of humanity to the holiday on March 8
Institute specialists have taught women's issues. They are literally on the eve
International Women's Day was invented jar with a wide mouth, which
greatly facilitate the process of collecting women's tests. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #26543 —  
 
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Letter to the Committee on Environmental Protection Director
refinery.

Dear Inspector Smirnov VN!

We have reviewed your complaint and reject all of your claim for pollution
River Ershovka oil and especially its yesterday's spontaneous
fire.

Factory Director Sokolov EG
Joke #26542 —  
 
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The investigation found, the perpetrators of heavy snowfalls in February were
forecasters.
forecasters rasskayalis and promised to continue rasspredelyat snow evenly
entire winter period.
Joke #26541 —  
 
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- Previously, I had resigned, and was taken for any job.
- And now?
- And now I am not resigned, and therefore unemployed.
Joke #26540 —  
 
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Announcement: We'll see you in person. Expensive.
Joke #26539 —  
 
0
 
- What are you doing, you rascal? Where did you grow only in their hands? But who
Well goddamn!
Joke #26538 —  
 
0
 
"I shit on your sanitary zone! "- Yelled the passenger train, lomyas
the closed toilet.
Joke #26537 —  
 
0
 
Offering guests to sit still, do not overdo it! Say it to them when
they have already made for the door handle!
Joke #26536 —  
 
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Kuchma's new book - "When there is no escape."
Joke #26535 —  
 
0
 
- Huzey mudozhestvenny
venerolog
Joke #26534 —  
 
0
 
Did you know that the English word "judoist" - "judoka" and "judaist"
- "Jew" only differ by one letter ...
Joke #26533 —  
 
0
 
Evening. Dark. Ant gallop rushes in an anthill.
Because the ants at night and close the door.
He runs and runs. And suddenly on his way there shit.
"While I will evade, just do not have time.'ll Climb straight" thought ant.
Climbs, climbs. Stuck.
Past flying butterfly. "You cho, ants, stuck?", She asks.
Ant once crossed his legs, his arm under his head and says:
"No, no, that's crap, rest "!!!!!!
Joke #26532 —  
 
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Some say that her right leg was beautiful, others - that the left and
In my opinion, the truth lies somewhere in between.
Joke #26531 —  
 
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I caught a girl goldfish - pleaded fish - "let go, any your
dearest wish will perform. "murmured the girl -" I want all battling
spot, and turned her fish in a Kalashnikov rifle.
Joke #26530 —  
 
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Chukchi arrived in Moscow to stay with relatives.
The next day, decided to go to the movies.
Relatives advised him: "Sit on the 53rd bus, get there!"
Already in the evening after a day's relatives are on the Chukchi
stop. "You Th sit still??"
"Yes, still only 40 buses to pass?"
Joke #26529 —  
 
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Khachik Goes to the "top five" on the Leningrad Highway. Sees a girl standing.
Pulls, puts to himself, going home. By road:
- Solder sucker me charm.
- Before home patient.
- Suction. How do I ask my brother.
Joke #26528 —  
 
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NTV expensive congratulates women on the holiday on March 8 and offers
in this wonderful day broadcast supermatcha Cup
Chelsea-Barcelona. Only for you, ladies!
Joke #26527 —  
 
0
 
For any woman happy day the Eighth of March can only be a night
the ninth.
Joke #26526 —  
 
0
 
He told her:
- You could describe an orgasm?
- How's that?
- Words ...
- No, only by letters:
On-ooo ...
R-pp ...
Ha-ha-ha ...
A Aaagh ...
W-zzz ...
M-mmgm ...
Raksha
Joke #26525 —  
 
0
 
Popal conscript to serve in the missile unit. Let's go to the missile launch. Until then
da ce - lit up about some kennels. Here comes the Major:
- $#%^$# $^%&^% $%^!!! NO SMOKING, TYPE, FOR OBJECT! Not written?
Urgent write 100 tablets!

Well, what to do - wrote soldier board "no smoking" and hangs on all
pillars and walls ... In the evening comes to bosses at the launch. Everyone looks
izdalya. Thunder, flash, fly to the forest cover mine, demolished booth,
rocket flies - 30 meters of a torch, burning grass, all charred!
Soldier:
- No dick myself "NO SMOKING"!
Joke #26524 —  
 
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I loved the wife's mother to madness, and madness after her, no one liked.
Joke #26523 —  
 
0
 
Estonian electric power steering!
Think where you will turn in advance!
Joke #26522 —  
 
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