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The sushi bar.
- Be kind, rolls with salmon and wasabi instead of horseradish Chilean ...
- Fuck you, but not wasabi ... I correctly recorded?
- Woman! You determine its priority and persistently go to his
- How do you intelligently sent it to the dick, eh?
The doorbell. The hostess opens on the threshold of an unknown man.
- Sorry, I picked up the stomach. Can I have you to go to the toilet?
- Yes, shame on you! You break for absolutely strangers with such
- Once again, excuse me, please. You are absolutely right. Perhaps I better
simply Nasr you under the door.
Spared any of life's problems.
I think you have me already? - Asked the doctor the patient. - Remind
your name ...
- No, Nicholas.
- Dad, who is this Pokemon?
- It Cheburashka, Crocodile Gena who bit off his ears.
Never marry a woman with whom you can live. Marry the one without
which can not live.
American loves his country and hates all who do not share his
Russian does not love his country and hates all who share his opinion.
With the advent of airbags in cars, the situation during
accident dramatically changed:
before the collision the driver struck against a person on the steering wheel,
and now he hits the steering wheel on the face of the driver.
All our cars are becoming more comfortable.
Shocked? Can not find peace? New drug
"Apstenu" heal you ...
Seven times will be scratched once slops ... Proverb of the northern peoples.
- Why are you so sad?
- Why, my husband goes wrong ...
- And you to take up with some unusual sex!
- Yes me too much!
- That's exactly it with him and ask him!
What do you call a man who spends all their resources - time, money
etc. only on themselves? That's right, selfish.
And how is a person who spends all their resources - time,
etc. only on themselves and thus offended when egos did not spend their
resources on it? Such a man is woman.
Sunday morning. Dad and Mom have sex. Parents, hearing footsteps
baby, are covered with a blanket, but "do not throw things." In the doorway there
boy, who brought her mother the book "kid who knew how to count to
10. He sits on the bed, begins to show her mother: "This kid ...
This mother - a goat ... And this ... "(he pointed to the bull and thoughtfully silent).
Dad leans contentedly on her back. "And this is my father - a goat!" --
Freshen the air in the apartment of ozone generators can each, but still nobody
unable personally to spoil the air in a pigpen.
- How much milk gives your cow?
- 20 liters per day.
- And what do you do with milk?
- 10 liters reserve itself, and the remaining 15 sell ...
Do you know why people of small stature succeed more often than
Because while the tall push each other to fight for place
small climb them between the legs.
Common opinion is not the case. Opinion is always personal, but a general is only
Strange creature woman. First she tries to marry the strong
independent man, and then will try to get out of it came out soft
If a presidential candidate is lying to voters, then it does not get
a good president. And if she do not lie, the president of it will not work.
from the evolution of women:
was not long way from touchy to nedotrahi ....
- Hello! Police? This Zhvanetskiy concerned. I have a Mercedes drove away! What
- You're a humorist. Take this event with humor.
Due to the fact that after removal migalok mess with parliamentary machinery for
roads became only more, the Interior Ministry is planning another rally on charges
jams drivers flying saucers.
In Soviet times, to make a career civil servant, he had to finish
Institute with highest honors, and then go through labor at the plant hardiness
Krasny Mayak, then get a little red book ... a member of the CPSU
Today, just enough to be blue ...
Grandmothers ... Familiar faces. During your life you have passed fire and water,
digest all the political squabbles, nursing our children and grandchildren ...
Say, for what such a work you go by public transport in
seven o'clock in the amount equal to the number of seats in the bus?
Officials like most in the south like to look at the sea - for rollback
the rollback, rollback of the rollback, rollback of the rollback ....
What is the distinction between inflation and hyperinflation? If you came to the shop
with a basket of money, left the cart at the entrance and the money was stolen - in the country
inflation. If not stolen the money, and shopping cart - hyperinflation.
found at http://nappy.it-forge.net
If only Pinocchio became necessary to prove their Jewish roots,
the first thing he needed was a pruner.
Who said that we live badly? Well we lived, not that now!
They say, they say, under the lash systems go. So what? But all we had!
Housing is free. Catering free. Free Clothes!
There is no unemployment. All polls were busy with useful work.
No crime. For 10 years - no one there was no fight, not just
The army was strong. You look out the window - the terms of soldiers with machine guns,
protect you from enemies. All of us were afraid, not that now!
A health-care how! Free medical care! Neither
alcohol or drugs was not any to speak of, not something that now!
However, the food was so good, and dressed not particularly like. But all have
Everyone was equal, neither rich nor poor was not!
And above all - complete stability and confidence in the future. Mog
boldly guess ahead by 5, 10, 20 years!
Who said that we live badly? Well we lived! ..
Ah, the devil pulled me to escape from the colony for convicts for life ...
- And why the Federation Council Deputy face idiot? As director
like to say?
- Mash, it's not a movie. This is news.
- Where soaped himself?
- On a business trip.
- For how long?
- Yes for five years.
- Five-Year Plan period is not - after sitting on pushing .. Listen to the old board
zek. First, fitting a good ksivu. Secondly, sharpened candy and
in which the wheels of those diseases that sick to cops when Shmona
vypasli. The most important thing: to leave everything and make the teeth. In the zone they are not
treated, but simply rips. Keep your yap there in his bosom, and bullshit in
bedside table. Not on podsyad Zhor, but it thieves once in devils zapomoyat.
- Yes I do .. that .. America.
- A talk on a business trip .. Well then all the more fitting ksivu, sharpened
sweets with wheels, make sure your teeth, keep your yap in the bosom and
podsyad in Zhor.
Lie on the table two books: the first - a thin, says "logic"
second - a fat, says "women's logic. Volume 1"!
Previously married and just want to fuck him for money.
Now married and think, how would you he did not take it.
Producers of the show "Stars on Ice," struck the huge ratings, decided to
create a new show "Stars in the ring." Our stars will be competing against
known boxers, to participate in the project have already agreed to Oscar De Lahore,
Nikolai Valuev and Konstantin Tszyu.
Most useful domestic animals - a fish. No bark, no bite, fleas
do not bring in a dream does not snore and zakus go with a smile.
From news. Yesterday at the boundary 5 of black offenders were in the black
At heart, everyone can find something good, but
some of the very soul to be found deep in the ass.
Their end was tragic - he died from typhoid, she - from dzhipega ....
It is expected that in Europe the fashion for bare bellies will have the following
spring, and in Russia - already this winter.
The main body of his long-suffering body was more good
liveinternet.ru / users / greh
Campaign: who buys Chinese porcelain dinner service for 200 persons --
soccer ball and a kilogram of superglue for free.
liveinternet.ru / users / greh
- Dad, how do you spell the word "ass": through "O" or the "e"?
- Write better ass! And what are you writing?
- Composition. Lyrical image of Tatyana Larina!
- Honey, we have to work this event. Can I now
Organizers of Formula 1 was puzzled by the loss of interest in the race and held
questionnaires, which resulted in three most popular
1. Drink drivers.
2. Remove the brake from fireballs.
3. Pour oil on the corners.
- Why do blonde crumble the bread into the bowl?
- To feed the toilet duck.
- How is a New Zealand farmer, carrying his left hand a goat
a sheep, right?
Dedicated to the mark "Ford".
There are two men:
- I heard you bought a "Ford-Focus".
- Yes, I do not like to get to work by subway.
- How, how ... Now again like.
- Honey, please bring me a beer. It is there in the refrigerator for
- I told you that - a slave, wearing a beer?
- Oh, no, bunny. The sun, as you might think so! Just when
not the most favorite person in the world - so who else?
- Well, kitten! (goes for beer, back) That's it! I love
- And I love you!
His wife leaves. The man, brazenly sipping beer:
- Oh, those slaves!
From Moscow to Magadan, a wave of jokes about Putin .. with
Unfortunately, the bird of good luck does not carry eggs.