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The best way to lose weight Pinocchio was always a plane of Pope Carlo.
Joke #30181 —  
 
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God created man in His own image. And where is this man?
Joke #30180 —  
 
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In the hospital with a dentist. The doctor knocks on healthy teeth and immediately
sick ...
Doctor:
- Well, there is a difference?
Patient:
- Of course, doctor.
It takes 5 minutes ... all repeats ...
The doctor asks:
- Difference is?
Patient:
- Yes, doctor ...
Doctor:
- And what's the difference?
Patient:
- It sounds fake ...
Joke #30178 —  
 
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- What distinguishes the real from the virtual sex?
- Real - it develops when the heart muscle, and the virtual --
when developing the right biceps .....
Joke #30177 —  
 
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- Oh, Lesch come! Finally, we can do our favorite thing.
- How?
- Wait until Lesch leave.
Joke #30176 —  
 
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Science News. Ministry of Education issued new textbooks with errors
which will study the new generation of schoolchildren.
Joke #30175 —  
 
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- Lads! October on the nose! It's time to take the winter!
A couple of days:
- Hello, boss, greetings from Peter! Winter took, but at the same time post and telegraph!
- Mace! I had in mind a set of winter tires for my "Boomer"!
Joke #30174 —  
 
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In honor of the anniversary WHA gives all buyers Lada discounts
Services or set of car accessories - towing
cable and warning triangle.
Joke #30173 —  
 
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Carpets in the shop "The old Hottabych." Excellent carpets for fuck-tibidoh!
Joke #30172 —  
 
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- Boy, as well as your name?
- Murzik.
-?!
- My parents always wanted a kitten.
Joke #30171 —  
 
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Subject writings: "The image of the mother in the sms-messages."
Joke #30170 —  
 
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- I see you Muscovite ...
- No, just full.
Joke #30169 —  
 
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Literature - a whore graphomania.
(C) Robie
Joke #30167 —  
 
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In the basement Darya Dontsova were found ten thousand monkeys with
typewriters.
Joke #30166 —  
 
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They say bin Laden overeaten spinach ...
Joke #30165 —  
 
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- Why Luzhkov's birthday celebrated in the arena?
- I hoped that Sobchak will go .... a stable home ...
Joke #30164 —  
 
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Thailand coup: instead of "69" will now be "96".
Joke #30163 —  
 
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When his father - rickshaw, mother - geisha, and his son Moishe, this is not a tragedy
Eastern family, a real tragedy when his father Moishe, mother - rickshaw,
a son - Geisha ...
Kitten
Joke #30162 —  
 
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In Stockholm crashed Carlson. We consider two versions: the bad
weather conditions and pilot error. The final conclusion will be
published after decoding black boxes.
Joke #30161 —  
 
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Gaskets Albatross - wingspan of up to 3 meters.
/ www.tagilend.narod.ru
Joke #30160 —  
 
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- Tomorrow I'll go to the doctor.
- To the doctor? Are you sick?
- I really hope that ill. Otherwise, I really feel so worthless
healthy?
Joke #30159 —  
 
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Mom came with 18-year-old daughter out of town.
boarded the bus - but as an evil, the bus is overloaded. had to go standing up.
One good man, gave her mother a place, but the daughter remained standing.
25 minutes, one tutor said: "girl, take me to
knees.
daughter turned to her mother for advice, as they say to do?
mother says: "Sit down of course, still 1.5 hours to go." daughter of the village.
2 minutes uncle said: "Sorry, I should climb to the right
pocket, a cigarette fix. "reaches into his pocket, adjusts ...
a minute later: "Sorry, again I want in my pocket, matches
correct.
climbs into the left pocket, adjusts ...
and one grandfather in the back said: "girl, sit better on my knees,
I no longer smoke. "
Joke #30158 —  
 
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From the zone of the Chernobyl nuclear power station closures was trying to escape a local resident ...

Blocking detachments opened fire on the attacker. The body of the detained soldiers
counted 12 holes. Fortunately, they all turned out to be anal.
Joke #30157 —  
 
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Total of three minutes was enough doctor Kurpatovu in order to prove
stop the traffic cops that he - a mere nobody, and make it
shoot.
Joke #30156 —  
 
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Chef - secretary:
- What are you doing on Sunday?
Secretary (with hope in his voice):
- Nothing:
- Then let me remind you that today is not Sunday!
Joke #30155 —  
 
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Because ads new Center for cloning:
- Today, we have increased the number of our customers by 300 percent.
Joke #30153 —  
 
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If in the morning, you stumbled and fell down the stairs at night, you are hit by a car
evening you were fired from their jobs, but at night morons neighbors included Ramstein --
Think you very lucky. Neighbors might include some pop!
Joke #30152 —  
 
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- You elected, Neo! "- Said Morpheus.
- I'm an idiot! - Neo said, stopping his hand a cloud of bullets and slipping on
banana peel.
Joke #30151 —  
 
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Popular features:
1. Fell fork - comes the girl.
2. Fell fork and teeth bent - comes a girl with crooked legs.
3. Fell fork and teeth dull - come blonde.
Veland88
Joke #30150 —  
 
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- Natasha, you got me wrong!
- That I did not understand? I perfectly understand all of it! You treat me
like a dog: Bring, bring, bring, bring.
- Natasha, you're wrong!
- What am I doing wrong? Here is how I will take a stick!
- Natasha, yuk!
Veland88
Joke #30149 —  
 
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In Africa, where the zebra crossing will crush, there and go across the road.
Veland88
Joke #30148 —  
 
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Husband and wife lie in bed.
- Honey, what do you think I'm beautiful?
- Yes.
- Here's just so, and everything?
- Yes, you're beautiful.
- Yes, you're beautiful. As the mare sivaya! Is that it?
- No, you're not mare!
- Thank you, dear! Do not goat! Good night!
Veland88
Joke #30147 —  
 
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Abkhazian comes to the grocery store and asks:
- Girl, what have you got?
- Sausage!
- And with what it eats?
- Since bread!
Purchases sausage, bread, sat down to eat on a bench, took out the sausage, past
ran the dog, grabbed the sausage and running.
Abkhazian after her:
- Run, Run, bitch, look like without bread is going to ...
Joke #30146 —  
 
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I wonder why so we have to muse, and to web-designers Creative?
Joke #30145 —  
 
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- Hey, stand up, we have a local cattle ..
- ?????
- Ugh, that gang!
Joke #30144 —  
 
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That they might live better, we need to work better!
Joke #30143 —  
 
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One Day

If you see hastening to Moscow on a black car with the included flasher --
miss, Do not block the road, a man in a hurry to surrender .....
Joke #30142 —  
 
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Petka:
- Vasili Ivanovich, enough to drink, but it will clanks.
Vasily:
- Here, a pancake, even a fever - and she is white.
Joke #30141 —  
 
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- Mom, I never again will I eat mushrooms.
- Why?
- I promised them yesterday.
Joke #30140 —  
 
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Announcement. School Ivan Susanin. Teaching in Polish.
Joke #30139 —  
 
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In the sex-shop seller girlie-kid:
- And you are here why the hell do you want?
- Won addition, on the top shelf with a vibrator!
Joke #30138 —  
 
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- And this, John, riding. It now honor of our mayor.
- Your mayor - a horse??
Joke #30137 —  
 
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Announcement in the dean's office:
"Attention students! Changed the rules examinations. In this session
passing exams is as follows:
1-th time - Staff
2 nd time - the Commission of the teachers
3rd time - the Commission from the district military office "
vch.narod.ru
Joke #30136 —  
 
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Selling T-34. Anticor, Lockers, alarm, Mp3, not broken, do not
Dyed. Apply to lieutenant colonel.
Joke #30135 —  
 
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American Gay returned from Russia.
- Well, what? - Worried friends - They say there are terrible to us,
you were not beaten?
- What you! There are gays still better than us! There for them even
is indulgence in laws!
- Really?
- If you see someone passing on the yellow or the oncoming lane,
necessarily tell about him: "Well, one more fag go!"
Joke #30134 —  
 
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- And we Lehoy Th something in the New Year overestimated their strength ... I went to the forest
kilometers 50!
- Skiing?
- For amphetamines!
Joke #30133 —  
 
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Power button electric ...
Joke #30132 —  
 
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We have a steep supermarket. We even rats with carts running around.
Joke #30131 —  
 
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The best contraceptive - is the brain!
Joke #30130 —  
 
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Fishing in full swing!
Already and bait
With difficulty Unlike snacks ..
Joke #30129 —  
 
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