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One of the conditions of the contract by the new coach
Russia's soccer team Hiddink - to give Russia
20 Dutch citizenship.
Joke #32244 —  
 
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Advertising.
- And who are you calling from?
- Andrew.
- You should not call for young people, let them call you!
- But why?
- Because you're a prostitute ...!
Joke #32243 —  
 
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If you know exactly who to blame - not to impersonate.
Joke #32242 —  
 
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Networks "Crossroads" and "Pyaterochka announced merger. New network
stores will be called "Pereterochka.
Joke #32241 —  
 
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His wife - her husband, staring at the paper:
- You can no longer say, "Yeah, Yeah, yeah." I have ten minutes ago
stopped to talk with you.
Joke #32240 —  
 
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Men must give way to women in the tram and the ride in a jeep.
Joke #32239 —  
 
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It is good that our people are with the state hand in hand. Distressed only
that they share the handcuffs.
Joke #32238 —  
 
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Nine out of ten men prefer women with large breasts. Tenth same
men prefer ... previous nine.
Joke #32237 —  
 
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- Masha, I want you! I can not! I raped you now! I'm vparyu on
best buds!
- Come on already - par!
- I can not - shy ...
Studios.
Joke #32236 —  
 
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- Never give up, because any pawn can reach the end of the board and
become queen.
- Or a horse - all depends on the make-up.
Joke #32235 —  
 
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America once dropped bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki - and what became of
economies of Japan! Do not do it with Iran.
Joke #32234 —  
 
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Yesterday was held the founding conference of the new
socio-political movement People's Democratic Alliance (NDA).
He was elected chairman of former Prime Minister Mikhail Kasyanov. Main task
movement - to reduce VAT to 2%.
Joke #32233 —  
 
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April 1. The husband returns home. And then his wife with his best friend
fucking. The man, waving his hands:
- Very funny, blyad!
Joke #32232 —  
 
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Crawling two soldiers in exploration ...
Suddenly one vlyapyvaetsya hand in shit.
Second:
- Tha-ha-ha!
First (plugging his mouth smeared hand):
- Quiet blya!
Joke #32231 —  
 
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Community workaholics anonymous
Joke #32230 —  
 
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Gospel of Judas from the USA:
Christ is not sold for 30 pieces of silver, but for 29.95!
Joke #32229 —  
 
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In order to conspiracy Stirlitz gained SMSes to his wife with his left hand ...
Joke #32228 —  
 
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The lesson of English in a village school. Teacher:
- Ivanov - as will be in English "door"?
- Dwear.
- What eto da!!
Joke #32227 —  
 
0
 
What are the similarities between his wife and job?
Whether you like it or not, but fuck it has to!
Joke #32226 —  
 
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Once upon a Malchikspalchik.
He grew up and became Dyadyasruku.
Joke #32225 —  
 
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British scientists have developed a computer chip that is embedded in
silicone breasts and plays music. This is an important breakthrough, since women
all the time complaining that men look at breasts and not listening to them.
http://barada.ru/
Joke #32224 —  
 
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Guests and looking at the little master's child:
- Look, eyes like a mother!
- Similarly, one to one.
- And ears like a dad!
- Similarly, ... three to one.
Joke #32223 —  
 
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A young surgeon in the military office wants to make an impression on a young
nurse. Says one of the recruits:
- Rollback penis. Sunset. Nurse! See how romantic
sunset!
Joke #32222 —  
 
0
 
In Moldova, developed a completely new type of bomb. The explosion in the radius
30 km is covered with all the tiles.
Joke #32221 —  
 
0
 
Reference man to the police:
- I've been attacked and robbed Tajiks!
Policeman:
- Why do you believe that they were Tajiks?
Guy:
- So they were also in their national costumes!
Policeman:
- In what other national costumes?
Guy:
- As in what? Well, in the orange jacket with the inscription MOSDORSTROY.
Joke #32220 —  
 
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"What did ask him why is he silent? Maybe I'm not interesting, I can
mannish, complexes definitely some ... So-so, what was there in
book with the phraseology? .. Why is he not looking at me? But! Bl @! He
yawn! What to do? About! I ask him whether he liked the spring, and he
say yes, and I say "and I, too, spring charges me with energy of love,
makes my heart sing "... And if he says no, then I say ...
Uh ... what can I say ... Well then I say "yes but I, for spring
charges me with energy of love, makes my heart sing "... Then I told him
talk about love ... I ask him do you know what love is? He
say no, but I'll tell him: "Love - is when to negotiate
we meet at noon, but he comes half an hour earlier, but he's already there ... "
Wow! How cool figured out as much now, she burst into tears ... Or maybe I
look like a fool? "
- You think me a fool?
- Yes.
- Uh ... Here a pancake ... Do you like spring?
Joke #32219 —  
 
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- I - Nemirovich-Danchenko. Why Stanislavsky phrase: "Do not believe it!" came
in history, and my: "I swear it - that's different!" - No?
Joke #32218 —  
 
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According to dialectics, the number of passes in quality, but this should
number that has the necessary rack, it will be not up to quality.
Joke #32217 —  
 
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Why do I need wings? What I - Broiler?
Joke #32216 —  
 
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The morning in the subway:
- Man, what are you me in the chest, then push?
- You?? Yes, you have breasts and there is not any!
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #32215 —  
 
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While in our country's laws no longer work, the laws of meanness
continue to work, work and work.
Joke #32214 —  
 
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In the world of books. Once known telepremery appeared in bookstores
not only a new edition of "The Master and Margarita" with portraits of actors
series, but the Bible depicting the artist Bezrukova on the cover ..
Joke #32213 —  
 
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I have a terrible wife, well, just very frightening. But yesterday I played
conjugal duties - Halloween after all ...
Joke #32212 —  
 
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- The girls and I told my yesterday that I have a velvety skin!
- Dura, velvet - is fine wool!
Joke #32211 —  
 
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Surgeon at the memorial service for former patient: "We all have the right to make mistakes ...

Thank God it's not the engineers.
Joke #32210 —  
 
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In the pet shop.
- How much you talking parrot?
- Here is the 20 words knows, 500 rubles. You can still fresh up - more
will speak. Next to him - have said 50 words, 1500 rubles.
- And why that one over there is 5000 dollars?
- He is the most promising.
- But it says that he knows only two words!
- Yes, but what! He knows how to say: "National Project"!
Joke #32208 —  
 
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Drivers are divided into two categories: suicide - those who are ahead of you, and
brakes - those who are ahead of you.
Joke #32207 —  
 
0
 
When my dad washed the dishes, it sucked the drain hole and released in
neighbor's bathroom at a time when they washed neighbor Nina. At
As well, he said mom.
Joke #32206 —  
 
0
 
Having heard of the Turks that America dough lying on the road. The trees
growing and generally everywhere. Collect only. Well, I think, have to go to
America.
In short, a refugee, through three countries, having spent the last dough, our Turkish
reached the United States.
Issued at the airport, and then saw - in a corner weaving bucks lie.
Turk eye popping looks and says:
- Naah, I'll start tomorrow.
Joke #32205 —  
 
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Man and woman passionately making love on the edge of the forest. Unexpectedly
appears the bear in the meadow. And he said:
- Dear, my respects, but do not you ashamed to hack virgin
beauty and chastity of the forest so brazen act of animal
intercourse?
Silence ...
- Yes, I'm kidding! Preved!!
Joke #32204 —  
 
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Mermaid swim up to his house-shells, and on it, Octopussy sit
open hamper.
Mermaid:
- Get out of shells!
Octopussy:
- For a look, srusalochka ...
Joke #32203 —  
 
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In Russia, most political and sexual minorities - are one and
same.
Joke #32202 —  
 
0
 
If you feel that you glupeesh - do not worry. Gaga can only
smart.
Joke #32201 —  
 
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A girl like you fuck! ... Oh, name!
Joke #32200 —  
 
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Fucking pack of dogs with each other in a vacant lot.
Suddenly all pay attention to that one bobik my bitch laid back,
her legs parted ...
One bitch says another:
- Look, Zsuzsa, a dog from the city!
Studios.
Joke #32199 —  
 
0
 
Children's Ensemble Kukushechka "throws her students into other
group.
Joke #32198 —  
 
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Papa-beaver went hunting and caught in the river stool.
The whole family gathered in the evening at a gala dinner.
Sit at the table, napkins tied, a stool on the table.
And the little beaver says: "Dad!" And I can do the leg? "
Joke #32197 —  
 
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- Anya, on the street this rain, my feet got wet from ear to ear!
- Cach, do not flatter yourself, eh?
Joke #32196 —  
 
0
 
- So, Little Johnny, why was not the whole semester?
- Well, Maria Ivanovna, I was sick!
- Well, well! Yes to a strip club walking you!
- Yes, I ...
- And do not you dare argue with me! I am from the scene could see everything.
Joke #32195 —  
 
0
 
A young, sensitive maniac looking for the girl who runs fast and
shouting.
Joke #32194 —  
 
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