Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes
New best jokes, funniest anecdotes
Lord deprived mind Russian youth. And he in the synagogue arranged Eid
Muslims come to your senses! The devil is not in Mina, and Hadassah.
Russia celebrates the Old New Year. So you can poprazdnovat
Old Christmas Day Old Zavschitnika Fatherland, Old International
Woman's Day, Old May Day, Old Independence Day unknown
someone from whom, old days of the Great October Socialist Revolution
and any Kostitutsii.
- Why frail little man prefer pyshnotelyh women?
- And they - like flies on watermelon; crawling and search, where more sweet
- I want to go back to early childhood.
- And why in the early?
- In early childhood, ask tits - give it to you immediately. Now
you ask - you in response: "Well, doggy, back itch?"
Mathematicians also joking.
To quote from the book "the art of programming" by Donald Knuth, Volume 2:
"George Marsaglia in 1995 prepared a demo CD with 650
megabytes of random numbers, which account for the generation of noise
diode circuit combined with opredelennyi way music assembled in
style of "rap". He called it "black and white noise."
- What is a feat of intelligence?
- This is when the scout is being introduced into the enemy environment and produces valuable
information about the plans of the enemy for his command.
- And what is the feat of the journalist?
- And this is when a journalist for the sake of sensationalism is implemented in a public house and
works there as a prostitute to get some interesting information for
They do not like everything!
They sleep during the day and at night, when they wake up
They can not stop! - Pisdoboly.
Want to become one of them?
And somewhere in the third hour of the night, of despair, she wanted to savagely
finally give in to this unbearable, aching in the darkness of mosquitoes, no matter how
one man in life is not like to pay ..
For Holmes, a visitor comes in a shabby suit and ask for help. Holmes
refuses. When a client leaves, Watson pounced on Holmes:
- You never helped the poor!
- And he was not poor, he has 1000 $ in my pocket was!
- And let's recalculate together!
Tyrant - Georgians;
Chekists - Jews;
But in a dictatorship as always to blame Russian.
It was rumored that Bill Clinton may soon lead the corporation
Micro $ oft. Divisions of the company in a matter of urgency to leave
My daughter broke her doll, her mother zarugala.
- Yes-ah, and you are a very last night, an alarm clock broke.
- How did you get?
- Yes, I heard your dad say: "Well, right now going with him mischief,
while he would not get up in the morning, we sleep for once ... "
January 10 is about a peasant showcases wine and liquor department of a grocery
sighs and looks, and eyes almost tears flow. Suitable for him
other: - You're Th, man? Vodka, which I did not deliver? - Delivered ... - A Che
no money? - Yes. - And what's the matter? - (Painfully) DO NOT WANT!
Never face of a man is not such a focused and inspired
as the choice of porn.
At the World Championships in weightlifting, our athletes set new
record ... It sounds fantastic, but at the last championship they drank
Black woman in the 45 - Baba prunes again
Santa Claus at the 10 th day of child tree:
- And now, children, together buttocks candle on herringbone!
- Grandfather Frost, but is blown bulb?
When the markets begin to set screens to the trade chat?
when out of the bazaar will exchange!
Released new toothpaste: "Total 24 hours." In the instructions for use
said that you are guaranteed protection against caries and plaque
if you brush your teeth this paste 24 hours a day.
The three talk about sex. One says:
- I end the act in three minutes!
- And I - in five minutes!
- And I do not start!
Tariff Mobile donors.
Total 2 drops per minute! (without VAT)
Payment in any bank in the blood.
Drunken man goes home at night and thinks, as if his wife did not wake up, and then
because ogrebet ..
Comes, the door opens. Silence. Decided, in order not to make noise, to undress in
corridor, but was pulling off his trousers, so with a raised foot and
on her favorite vase, like my mother gave it me. Vase to smithereens, the guy balls
bulging ... Silence ... Well, he sat undressed, got up somehow, but in the bedroom
favorite, but no one in the bed! Guy sobered up in neponyatkah, watches,
coat is, the boots have wives NO! And then to hear behind the wall, a neighbor,
her moans. Breaks, and she stands naked, arms akimbo, with a frying pan.
"Well, sobered up, a goat. And he started to beat him: "This is for the broken
life is for you, bitch, for drunkenness, and that you, bitch, for a vase that my mother
one katsap - this autocracy
Two Katsap - this autocracy and oppressed
Three Katsap - booze is followed by a fight
Four Katsap - a spree with a fight and the victim
Five Katsap - a place for vodka
Six Katsap - a place for vodka with a crush
seven Katsap - but this did not happen because they were necessarily
be one Jew.
(c) Moyo ... I'm sorry someone hurt, but with his flat jokes about gas
A contest - for the most intelligent blonde.
One of a candidate thinks - again, these are stupid questions about
Blondes ask, took and repainted brunette.
Vasilisa-weary member potrahets
- Women need to constantly surprise, offered her a super vibrator,
vibrator hidden in a super all motors ...
- OOO! uuuuuu!
- AAAA .. aaa .. aa ..... Well its this Vasilisa.
What is a double edged sword?
What is it? Hanging on the wall and each gives a hand?
Why?-Wants to be quickly removed from the stupid hangers!
Answer to "burning" anecdote 18 of 12.01.2006.
"Who is smarter, Ukrainians or Chukchi?"
Because of geographical considerations, it is clear that many Russian are
between the crest and the Chukchi. And in general, Russian are among the Chukchi and
rest of the world. Question: who is smarter, Chukchi, or the rest of the world?
Lisbiyanka izvraschenka and fagot, too pervert ... Kissed ... their
vomited each other in the mouth ... They liked ...
- Why did you do it on his head you pour jelly?
- Of all things! And I thought that this compote!
Citizen V. Novotvorskaya, rummaging in old clothes, found the red
diploma, with whom she at one time to finish. Fallen into a fit of passion, girl
repainted the document in three other colors of time.
Sits Stepashko, click on the accounts and dreams, as if his boss specifically
The dog is in honor of attorney Kony intelligently cries. Horse, that is
pony Vadik too. Thank Tatars: "Nadezhda" kids like me Vadimych
Give-ka I portable verblyudika and named it in honor of Plevako dugogo
What? Chef PSU finished law school, then check out humor!
The teacher first of May! Marivanna!
Kankretna prashyu assvabadit mine with a study inosranogo frantsuskaga
izyka, Takako these ligushatniki in kind is not proiznosyut May lyubbimuyu letter
Uy them perverts!
Gatof piritti in Chinese grupu. There this letter to the UJA.
Uligan In Van
Microsoft bought the Bee-line.
Now the operator and is called: "Billayn."
In the Tretyakov Gallery, a new canvas on which is depicted
Zhirinovsky, along with an army armed to the teeth on the State
Border of Russia.
The one Grach not come !!!!!!"
- Cho you yelling fool! People wake up!
- Tariff uebischny - money zhalkAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Caesar did a hundred cases, and Brutus, focused and made one.
Who is stronger? ..
Architect Dies can reboot the system with any new set
parameters - so it gets rid of all his enemies ...
Zebulun with Mel Destiny can return to the past and start life
again, to destroy unwanted ...
But steeper all - Woland. If he wanted - burned to the scripts and
Lukyanenko, and the Wachowski brothers ...
- Children, two plus two is four.
Russian enigma. My wife, two, and family members - one.
It's called the first day of the session?
- Day of the Holy Vaseline!
If you want to count the number of needles at the hedgehog, but he had no time,
sit on it, and then at the mirror, slowly count.
Women - they are the same as we do, only more pleasant to the touch.
By a simple rearrangement of letters from the Snow Maiden can get one
epic Ognesruchka, and absolutely not politically Negrosuchka. A
wish Happy New Year turns into a brutal Shit with smoke!
In the sex shops have full attributes for the cm-Masters, recently appeared
even a special comb: "A new scrubber for unruly hair"
I wonder what the firm thinks Schwarzkopf, drawing on Gliss Kur shampoo
for blondes black head?
Small pale blue fellows - the answer to demands for sexual UFO
Small little yellow fellows - the Chinese response to UFOs.
Evening Dec. 31 in the building of the Society of sobriety "in Stogrammovska for
a New Year merry company gathered teetotalers and malopyuschih.
On the morning of Jan. 11 from the building of the Society of sobriety "in Stogrammovska
tumbled merry company malonepyuschih!