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The Lay-2,
all starts with the fact that his regiment had arrived and grew to the division, and
then the shell, so that not all buildings have enough horsepower, you can still
priplesti Prophetic Oleg and make his brother, 80% still do not
disassembled, and then with relying adventures like "love and
blood "otprvitsya with bratulkoy purely pobratulski" take revenge unreasonable
Khazars, arriving at the site is cut into the cabbage "unreasonable Khazars, those who
managed to disperse rapidly getting brighter and humbly look at how drunk
vigilantes rob their homes and chasing the local harem, and in this bro
time nailing ....... shield on the gate as a reminder that
wise be good ...... a strong even better, in this philosophical conclusions
they proudly raised their heads against smoking depart Constantinople.
Against this background are captions. Solemn music, the corresponding importance
moment. At the last moment the camera comes over to the shore and large displays
"unreasonable hazarina", which threatens to follow through with his fist and knocked
teeth furiously, like a kettle, hissing: "We will come back !!!". Curtain. Can
take the third part. Only this we still take Ilya Murom third
so that the viewer could understand why the third part and how it differs from
previous
Joke #35807 —  
 
0
 
The owner of the caravan who ordered the camels to drink as it can: be a long
crossing the desert. In a way the young camel ends water ...
- They said the same: drink, as you can! - Swears old camel.
- I drank, as he could ...
- I drank too much as he could ... breath ... and then another drink ...
Joke #35806 —  
 
0
 
Mishka, Mishka, where is your smile?
- Near the slop bucket
Joke #35805 —  
 
0
 
There are two members of the CIA
- Alah Akbar
- Akbar, Shalom
Joke #35804 —  
 
0
 
Donetsk miners came out of the slaughter were surprised to learn that their country has
a year manages Yushchenko.
Kiev students coming out of the binge were surprised to learn that their country has
a year manages Yushchenko.
and only the head physician madhouse was surprised to learn of the president for a year
running the country of his patient Yushchenko.
Joke #35803 —  
 
0
 
What color of checkers?
Correct!
And in the politically correct American drafts from WindowsXP colors - white and
Red!
Joke #35802 —  
 
0
 
Express-method of learning English by immersion in Ilona
Davydov.
Joke #35801 —  
 
0
 
Iran does not choose between obagascheniem uranium in Russia or
its complete disintegration in the territory of Israeli's.
Joke #35800 —  
 
0
 
Much better proebat than prosrat!
Joke #35799 —  
 
0
 
A smoke-infantry troops.
Joke #35798 —  
 
0
 
His wife and not dream, I used to start a maid ...
Joke #35797 —  
 
0
 
Older brother - the youngest:
- Haim, say "quail".
- Well, the quail.
- No "Well! Simply "quail".
- Well, the quail.
- Just "quail", without there "well"!
- Quail.
- Well!
Joke #35796 —  
 
0
 
Advertisement:
services of a professional bouncers.
180 beats per minute.
Joke #35795 —  
 
0
 
Son quarrels with parents:
- I'm tired of always be with you, always come on time! I want
romance, freedom, beer, girls! I'm going, and do not try me
keep!
The son is determined to leave. At the door of his father catches.
- Dad, I said: do not try to stop me!
- I do not stop, my son. I'm with you!
Joke #35793 —  
 
0
 
- Darling, promised that when I die, you're still going to the funeral
walk with my mom.
- Okay, okay. True, it ruined my mood for the whole day.
Joke #35792 —  
 
0
 
Werewolf Nadia night turns into a log!
Joke #35791 —  
 
0
 
They talk to two friends:
- Imagine, this morning I broke a plate. I am afraid that this is bad
omen and it hurt my unborn child.
- What are you superstitious, Mary! When my mother was pregnant with me, she
smashed phonograph records, and you see that I'm nothing
happened, nothing happened, nothing happened ...
Joke #35790 —  
 
0
 
The doorbell.
- Who's there?
- Plumbing.
- I'm not aroused.
- Your neighbors are.
- What is it? I'm all right.
- I do not know. I have a request - to change your pads, not to
dripped on his brain.
Joke #35789 —  
 
0
 
Scandal
At home Kamasutra local residents have sent three tourists to the jade
rod and two times in a delicate lotus flower.
Joke #35788 —  
 
0
 
One guy from Russia, worked in New York (this was in 2001),
bought a bottle, opens it - and there's gin. So the genie and says: "Executive
any your desire. "The man thinks, thinks, can not possibly think of, and
responds: "Let me making a tomorrow, and you do perform". Jeanne him:
"Come on.

Fuck man the next day at work, and he worked in one of the towers
WTC, sitting, running, thinking that would be making a suddenly in the box sees in
next plane crashes into the tower. Guy:

- About @ uet, give two!
Joke #35787 —  
 
0
 
Message NTV. This morning in the hospital Ariel Sharon pernul. People
Russia is happy with the people of Israel.
Joke #35786 —  
 
0
 
- Who should be to get to heaven?
- Masochist ..
Joke #35785 —  
 
0
 
> The feeling that in Siberia are happening now full
> Picture Day After Tomorrow "Part Two.

We are in such weather in an hour we run for ice cream in about shooting and
heard nothing:)

Tyumen
Joke #35784 —  
 
0
 
From time to time Little Red Riding Hood moonlighted red lantern.
And sometimes - and under it ...
Joke #35783 —  
 
0
 
Known for his patriotism, self-taught electrical engineer Charles wanted to disable
from the network his villa in the town of Jean, but the inexperience cut down fifty
houses in the neighborhood.
"The trouble, since pies ..." - Used to say in such cases, the fabulist K.
Joke #35782 —  
 
0
 
Claus. In anticipation of the appearance in Moscow mains
"effect of superconductivity" grown stock quotes Anatoly Borisovich.
Joke #35781 —  
 
0
 
There is a hare Neskvik and advertises
- Buy Neskvik delicious chocolate and nutritious
suitable bear and said, once you say get
a minute later again ...
- Neskvik buy chocolate and nourishing
Again suitable bear ...
The last time I warn you say once again I'll kill you
a minute later again ...
- Neskvik buy chocolate and nourishing
The bear came up and said ...
- Mac three of his waistcoat for a man no better
Joke #35780 —  
 
0
 
Sciolist cosmopolitan Danchenko argues that Knipper stared Chekhov in
lavatory. Do not believe it! In the yard of the Moscow Art Theater is no lavatory. Sam checked.

Stanislavsky with Minor Alexeyev on Taganka
Joke #35779 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the frost in Moscow started HOTLINE!
Call and immediately warmed!
M-1
Joke #35778 —  
 
0
 
- Noticed how much colder?
- Noticed. And immediately came to mind Chubais.
- Exactly! Time Vladimir Kvachkov hunting issue.
Joke #35777 —  
 
0
 
Sherlock Holmes enters the room and sees Dr. Watson sitting in a chair
watching television and holding a count of aspen, silver revolver
and lgromnoe crucifixion.
- Watson, what are you doing? - Asked Holmes.
- You see, my dear Sherlock, after the television show
serial "The Master and Margarita", from the TV all the time leap
any devils, vampires, ghouls, werewolves and other vermin. So
have to defend themselves.
Joke #35776 —  
 
0
 
U.S. preparing for war with Russia, all have provided missile-uncover,
the ships sailed, and Russia take yes Unplug America electricity, gas and
gasoline.
Joke #35775 —  
 
0
 
Radist Morse
Joke #35774 —  
 
0
 
Inspired by the song Vocal instrumental ensemble "Gra"
- The best friends are girls - Lubes!!
Radist Morse
Joke #35773 —  
 
0
 
I'm a girl, okay?
I x @ nd suck - nice!
Joke #35772 —  
 
0
 
At the inauguration of Nursultan Nazarbayev, all CIS countries were represented
the first persons of the state, except for Ukraine. Head of Yalta
Port apologized for referring to avian flu, and sent in his place
president.
Joke #35771 —  
 
0
 
Aston Martin DB9 - "most" Blue "Car of the Year in Europe"
According to Russian media the most "blue" cars in Russia recognized
marshruki, drivers whom other Participants movement known no other
as a "fag"
Joke #35770 —  
 
0
 
Chukotka indigenous people gathered near the radio, listening to the forecast
weather in Moscow and slyly laughed, puffing on pipes ...
Joke #35769 —  
 
0
 
A film about gay cowboys "Brokeback Mountain" has received three Golden Globe.

- It is expected that in the remake of this film, one cowboy will be black and
other Indians.
Joke #35768 —  
 
0
 
Che is a fool Inez screaming, do not understand: CE SI BON! VIENNA DERER! SAME Perdue
L'amour! She said that srasnaya, invited to the hayloft, but she is as
log and yelling at inosranomu. Where is it derer? A shame!
And Sisi ordinary, Toko's the smallness inteligentnye.
I, too, at Purdue, but why out loud? I would dormir in the dark!
So whispered crumpled tretegodnik Vovochka, crawling out from under Madame Armand,
the teacher of French.
Voice Kopelyan: Through tsvantsig moment he wakes up and goes to finish
anti-Soviet derer Inez.
The music is playing and the voice Tariverdieva Kobzon.
Joke #35540 —  
 
0
 
After seeing the video of Sergey Zverev all day tormented question: if
SZ smile - his lips were burst or not?
Joke #35539 —  
 
0
 
As soon as the Duma passed a bill on "sports passport," Luzhkov
signed a decree on sports registration in Moscow.
Joke #35538 —  
 
0
 
In the capital's zoo on an international agreement brought the Swiss
pornokopytnogo mountain goat for mating with the local white goats.
Patriots What currency translation? From the zoo to the White House hand
lodge. Could do on their own, I mean the search in the mountains
Dagestan.

Shepherd husband swineherd
Joke #35537 —  
 
0
 
About CFO

Chief Financial Officer has decided to marry. "How to calculate the full cost
ownership (TCO) ", - he thought.

Financial Officer has decided to make an offer. "Due to the reduction
overlapping functions will be provided synergistic effect, allowing
reduce total costs by 30%, and thus increase the free cash
flow and, ultimately, capitalization, "- he explained.

Mistress asked the financial director of a new coat. "Sorry, but
this excess of the budget is beyond my competence, to
approval of the budget committee, "- refused CFO.

My wife found zanachku a financial director. "Unpredictable external
Wednesday - thought CFO - should be invited consultant
strategy.

Chief Financial Officer has decided to buy a house. "To issue bonds or borrow
credit? "- he thought about the financing of the project.

Finance Director has calculated the cost of his wife at the beauty salons and boutiques, and
thought: "Cash flow is definitely in need of optimization.

CFO's wife wanted a new car. "Honey, I
It seems that the NPV of the project does not meet our investment
policy ", - said Chief Financial Officer." Although the attractiveness
project may be revised in the light of its social significance, "--
immediately corrected himself under the gaze of his wife.

Projects which do not fit into the budget, do not withstand established
timing and do not yield the expected results, should be stopped,
despite the costs incurred "- thought the CFO and
severed relations with his mistress.
Joke #35536 —  
 
0
 
That looked like the original version of the advertisement:

Night. Sleeping house. Appears guy and yells:
"Masha! Masha!! Happy New Year !!!".

In the windows of the house one by one light is lit.
Masha asks: "Why scream, you also wake up the whole house!".

"But I do not feel sorry for THEM !!!", - yelling guy, ready to yell at the whole world, because
he was happy that finally collected the money on the phone.
Joke #35535 —  
 
0
 
Aeroflot: a new service for clients we cancel tickets - Buy a brand and
Flee ...
Joke #35534 —  
 
0
 
Surprised at first - what is this turputevka not cheap, but it turned out --
there "all inclusive": and oblevanye carpets and furniture, and broken glass, and
trevmpunkt for the waiter, and even vindictive drunk call "Russian
Al-Qaeda's three o'clock in the morning that "such and such hotel
mined ..

Sergey Sesame
Joke #35533 —  
 
0
 
Well, that sinagogsky mochila read Mein Kampf. If he played DOOM
and would come with a chainsaw - it would be much more interesting.
Joke #35532 —  
 
0
 
- Taki vie know who Benya Ladin by nationality?
- Do ..!!?
Joke #35531 —  
 
0
 
-Who is better to be prositutkoy or just a woman?
- Of course prositutkoy. And the woman, and prositutku have all the cracks, but
woman receives for the LRA, the fact that she managed to beg, but prositutka
all,
in that be enough cash.
Joke #35530 —  
 
0
 
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