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New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

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Russia suspended the purchase of livestock products in Ukraine. Because This product does not meet quality standards. Ukraine need in Russia's gas immediately dropped by 1 percent.

Eureka

If Yushchenko inform about the existence of quality standards in the rest sectors of the economy - it may once and for all lose all interest not only for Russia but also to any Central Asian gas.
Joke #36118 —  
 
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The Public Chamber has decided to immediately check all the boulders in the Red area for the presence of British currency and the Chinese batteries.
Joke #36117 —  
 
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Marivanna Homework Book of Moses. We did not and I asked neighbor. Neighbor called me pidarasom. For what?

Vovochka
Joke #36116 —  
 
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When you try to save the whale, accidentally in the swollen River Thames, the last tragically killed. The bright memory of Major Pronin will live forever in the hearts GRU!
Joke #36115 —  
 
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Investigatory experiment is completed successfully. Konokrad attracted to Excavations in the cattle cemetery, looked at the teeth of the animal and confirmed: "A horse - was received as a gift."
Joke #36114 —  
 
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In the Armenian Radio asked: Do glow at night the bugs? There is not illuminated, it is responsible. If light, then in Tbilisi would have been white nights. And a dream come true would be an idiot: Saakashvili is freed from dependence in Russia's electricity!
Joke #36113 —  
 
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Three heroes jump in the winter on the way through the woods and see a pile of broken brick and Sloman birch: - What is that? they ask at the passing grandmother. - And it yesterday drunk Yemelya on the stove in turn does not fit!
Joke #36112 —  
 
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These adolescents had a school of boxing - the TV.
Joke #36111 —  
 
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There is a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. Now is the time! - Decided by the FSB.
Joke #36110 —  
 
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In small letters on the wall of a public toilet: - Not a bunch, no shit! "Emodium"
Joke #36109 —  
 
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-What do you started smoking? - How to ... As ... What a fool! As a child dabbled with matches and lit ...
Joke #36108 —  
 
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Igor Moiseyev - 100 years! now and Boris Moiseev, too, wants to live to a hundred. In order to survive until the resolution we gomosvadeb.
Joke #36107 —  
 
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Recently the Minister of Education of Russia received a bribe from turkeys to their deleted from the detachment of chicken from all textbooks on the biology
Joke #36106 —  
 
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Question biology: feels a whale in the Thames like a fish in water?
Joke #36105 —  
 
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The dream of every inveterate bachelor - a new single hot line "ononizmu - no!"
Joke #36104 —  
 
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- As for the Georgian "son of a bitch"? - Sobakashvili!
Joke #36103 —  
 
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GUIN Russia officially says:

Next tender among correctional officers at the right location at the its territory prisoner Mikhail B. Khodorkovsky, will be held in 2008.

On the new lots will be announced.
Joke #36102 —  
 
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: How you weather? : Yes 14 not very well do you have? : Yes, too, not too-40
Joke #36101 —  
 
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Get a new ringtone "pea soup" and your meetings will be shorter!
Joke #36100 —  
 
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"Imbeciles they rule! Give debilizatsiyu throughout the country, we have no place in framework map jokes! " Under such slogans are proliferating and mass action "of bastards" and representatives of ordinary cattle to support their own website jokes "anekdotS.RU. On its open spaces, they will be able to turn in all power: to write without punctuation, and errors, vulgar, and just stupidly unsmiley obgazhivaya all, how can not grow. What is it: they are drunk on the fruit?

The last "unknown".
Joke #36099 —  
 
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In a galaxy far far away lived a Master Yoda. And he had two brother: Master Zelenka and Master of hydrogen peroxide ... See in continuation of the epic theater: "Star - sick!"
Joke #36098 —  
 
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buldog idiot on the street looking for 2 etaze sitting fee, buldog says: idioms with me gulyat? , Dachshund otvetsaet: how do I get off? , Buldog otvetsaet: and you sprigni, dachshund says: yeah htoby I takayaze muzzle was like for you?
Joke #36097 —  
 
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Released in the "Night Watch" - May 25, the lights went out in Moscow and more several areas, accidents at the enterprises ...

Released in the cinemas in all the country's "Day Watch" - the whole country frozen accident again ...

If now the cold fall Ostankino Tower or Ferris wheel at VDNH, I think, "Dusk Watch" shoot is not worth ...

And with horror waiting for "The Last Watch ...

Vadim B.
Joke #36096 —  
 
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If you pronounce the phrase "will not die in peace", the emotional color depends on its perception of what your sides agree -- with the first part, or with the latter.
Joke #36095 —  
 
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The inscription on a private kindergarten: "Kindergarten is closed due to the onset of cold weather is not for children. Administration "
Joke #36094 —  
 
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FSB of Russia captured the latest electronic spying device British intelligence, told reporters in Moscow, the head of the Center Public Relations Russia's FSB Colonel Sergei Ignatchenko. "It looks like a stone, and inside - stone."
Joke #36093 —  
 
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Looking at the calendar: I believe global warming will be!
Joke #36092 —  
 
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On television, a resident of Georgia, complaining of the cold and makes it possible for difficulties with lack of gas and electricity: - We ourselves feel here like a Swede at Poltava.

---

Well, it's more like Napoleon in Moscow!
Joke #36090 —  
 
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appealed to the prison hospital, five convict suspected of having avian flu-a physician-relationship with the lark
Joke #36089 —  
 
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Following advertising ...

Masha: Vera, I have an exam tomorrow, I Nichrome not know ... Maybe book to read? Vera: You're Th, fool?? Better wash his lucky blouse! ...
Joke #36088 —  
 
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Just a couple of weeks of frost .... and clinic Uro Pro get rich!
Joke #36087 —  
 
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General Directorate of Veterinary Services said that in connection with Upcoming mass migration of penguins, outbreaks of avian influenza is not expected.
Joke #36085 —  
 
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Another anti-Georgian action Russia would undermine treacherous Moscow Kremlin.
Joke #36084 —  
 
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Followed by Ukraine, Georgia has banned the import into the country from Russia Espumizan.
Joke #36083 —  
 
0
 
Russia coat of arms: "Rooster" was born in Chernobyl and recover from chicken Influenza
Joke #36082 —  
 
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until the frost breaks out peasant will not cross himself
Joke #36080 —  
 
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The question arose - whether bird flu is transmitted through sex? It means - from the birds.
Joke #36078 —  
 
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Not appetizing joke
Joke #36077 —  
 
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I read - "Pobedilnitsey Ca Remo 2005 was Annalisa Minetti.
He thought - And what is there, in San Remo, actually do?
Joke #36076 —  
 
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- Olga! , I have a meeting tomorrow, and the stains on the trousers! What
do?
- Take off your pants when wanker!
Joke #36075 —  
 
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The failure of intelligence - reached the enemy's computer, opened all the codes
but not won in any game.
Joke #36074 —  
 
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Poster in the dentist's office: "Keep smiling, hidden camera in front of you!".
Joke #36073 —  
 
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- Man, do you believe in love at first sight? (Unbutton
on a blouse)
- No.
- And the second? (Unbuttoned the second button)
- No.
- And then with what?
The man was wondering something in mind, then says:
- Probably, with the twentieth.
Anton Klubnitsky
Joke #36072 —  
 
0
 
From the report of the Minister of Interior to the President:
Also, to prevent the spread of infection Orange, was taken
decision to amend the rules of the road points, assuming
replacement of the yellow marker lamps American cars with red ...
Joke #36071 —  
 
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Saakashvili is meeting the Government of Georgia.
- I have 2 news - he says - good and bad. I begin with
good: in Russia blew up gas pipeline ...
Joke #36070 —  
 
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Weather forecast for the near future, see the movie The Day After Tomorrow
Joke #36069 —  
 
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Why do blondes prefer sex before marriage?
In order not to delay the wedding ceremony.
Joke #36068 —  
 
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The body of the CC CPU newspaper "Communist" for 20.01.2006 reports that according to
representative survey conducted by the Ukrainian Sociological
Service
- 25,5% of respondents - for union with Russia and Belarus;
- 8,7% for the restoration of the USSR;
- 12,3% for entry in the EU and NATO;
- 6% of respondents "could not answer.
With the remaining 47.5% responded, the newspaper does not report, because of the ethical
principles used exclusively normative vocabulary.
Joke #36067 —  
 
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Ministry finansikov.
Ministry nalogischam and gatherings.
Ministry ekokomicheskogo development.
continue ...
Joke #35861 —  
 
0
 
Authorities are fighting only for the crime,
which does not want to go out of the shadows and to share.
Joke #35860 —  
 
0
 
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