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Ravioli "Baltimore": "We have squeezed all the juices of the dogs, cut them into small
pieces. And those we never laid a finger - to your dish always
were - ear, legs and tail. "
Joke #36377 —  
 
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Once again, in Georgia's energy system has failed. On
This time, strong gusty northerly wind knocked several pylons
high-voltage lines. Anticipating a new application Saakishvili Ministry
Russia's defense apologized and ordered to no longer feed
Forces in the North Caucasus peas.
Joke #36376 —  
 
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Whatever written contemporary children's writers - they have all the same Harry
Potter turns.
Joke #36375 —  
 
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Conspiracy Americans against Muslims:
First bird flu will destroy the entire chicken, lizard and then destroy the whole
beef, pork would be left alone.
Joke #36374 —  
 
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- Tell Holmes, that the best way to drink cognac in a five star hotel
or a simple vodka in the kitchen?
- Of course vodka. After drinking vodka with friends, but leave the expensive cognac
a rainy day, when, instead of friends, wives, mistresses, leaving only
business partners.
Joke #36373 —  
 
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I wonder what language communicate with each other sworn friends
Russia, Messrs Yushchenko and Saakashvili?
Joke #36372 —  
 
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Recently threw the British Embassy with stones. Policeman guarding
Embassy, crawls out of the booth and asked the picketers: - What are you, people
doing? It's the British Embassy.
And he answered: - Here, here. We learned that the British diplomats suddenly
needed to Moscow garbage dumps boulders. Here we have collected their whole
ton, straight delivery to the destination.
Joke #36371 —  
 
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- What you do not understand. Cobblestone - is an instrument of the proletariat?
- So. So what?
- And on horseradish then our weapons suddenly took the British diplomats.
Joke #36370 —  
 
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In the restaurant:
- Drink you something?
- Borjomi on Georgian.
- How is it?
- No gas.
- Well then I'll light a candle on the table and bring the light is off.
Joke #36369 —  
 
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Another survey of Ukrainian television Channel 5:
Who is to blame for the problems in Ukraine?
a) Putin
b) Russia
c) Muscovites:))
Joke #36368 —  
 
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M. "B outraged by the fact that in the RF Council of Georgia to kneel.
And stop crawling in the shit.
Joke #36367 —  
 
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If Putin had read his annual message not in the spring, and now
January, it consisted of only one word that reflects the essence of all
processes taking place in Russia:
- Cold.
Joke #36366 —  
 
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Ukrainians Yushchenko announced his new political plans: You have seen my face, you will be the same.
Joke #36160 —  
 
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- Excuse me, but you have a sexual orientation? - Traditional! What? - No, I do. Without a second thought!
Joke #36158 —  
 
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Interesting. State Duma deputies, take a dip in the hole in the Epiphany frosts, were now very good dancers.
Joke #36157 —  
 
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Earlier there were reports that humane Moscow authorities in connection with frosts ordered not to drive out of the train stations and homeless animals, but if the frost will continue - perhaps this will lead to a sensational decisions: not chase of the station Khokhlov and hachey

by Muxa
Joke #36156 —  
 
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During the winter session of PACE communism was equated with Nazism, snowstorm to doping, the oligarchy to democracy, globalism to universal values, black to white, night to day, homosexuals to normal, Vampires to health care workers.
Joke #36155 —  
 
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How fair, how fresh were the roses ... Georgia's "revolution" ... How they perfume! .. While terrorists have turned off the gas.
Joke #36153 —  
 
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Before entering the fenced cine film set in the machine bursting wheel. Of the car goes bohemian kind of guy, and to him immediately crowd rushes the girls: - Oh, uncle, clear in our movie! We are talented! - That's good. Only movies on the site will remove the director, and I mounted here, because my place of work in this machine. - Oh, and on the ground we will not be allowed. It is possible, here we see how you will be mounted? - Can. Can even help, since you are so talented. Started. Who able to work with a jack and mount?
Joke #36152 —  
 
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Sit two friends. One of the other and said: Guess anecdote. Word of the three letters, sometimes moving. A HUSBAND *** ***
Joke #36151 —  
 
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First, Agca was imprisoned for what he had shot the Pope. Now -- for having missed.
Joke #36150 —  
 
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One of the candidates for President-2008 called Dmitry Kozak. In this regard, was born the following thought: Bear Kozak - Putin will become!
Joke #36149 —  
 
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Walks steward (B:) the room, asked who in any office items needed ... Reached the stage of system administrator (SA :)...

W: - what you buy? CA: - None of which do not ... W: - WMS let the paper for a fax machine to buy? CA: - I said - "Neither of which do not ..." W: - A sudden itch? CA: - It is when they feel an urge - I need toilet paper:)
Joke #36148 —  
 
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Born in connection with the policy of the President of Russia on enlargement of the regions and heavy snowfalls in the Kamchatka region and the lack of precipitation in Koryak Autonomous Area.

They stand three colleagues, smoke, discuss the clouds outside the window .... A: - And yet nothing is combined with the Koryak Autonomous Area Kamchatka Oblast ... - Why not? A: - Yes, now we even have snow falls on the residual principle! :)
Joke #36147 —  
 
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After the meat and milk, Russia clung to the Ukrainian pop. Artistic council hacked download Serdyuchki because of a lie in the words: "Love you! Wali did not fight!" of whom do not understand how can you ask us lyubovb when Valya so no not touched.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #36146 —  
 
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Banco Mat - foul language in the address of the issuer after an unsuccessful Transactions

dronakos
Joke #36145 —  
 
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Husband watches TV, bald head shining from a chandelier. Included wife, wrapped in a blanket: - You took that hat? - Ventilation.
Joke #36144 —  
 
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On the distribution of young professionals: - There is a vacancy on the City Hall. Go to the officials? - "Serve would be glad smarm makes me sick!" - Well, then go to serve. In the army.
Joke #36143 —  
 
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Today on TV speaking Yushchenko. He had said that I thought that I live in the United States.
Joke #36142 —  
 
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The fact that Ukraine has a cold to blame Russia. Moscow is especially made, that Ukraine consumes more gas ...
Joke #36141 —  
 
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As you have not watched "Day Watch"?? - Then we come to YOU!

The inscription on the poster ala the Great Patriotic War: - Have you watched "Day Watch"?
Joke #36139 —  
 
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In connection with the politically incorrect statement information agencies P-M that kind of like Britney Spears, "an old Lolita, officially declare that any pier in Odessa, there are some thoughtless person female nationality, but our Lolita still has the oh-what fishing value even in Moscow itself, and any overseas BA will shut up for the belt.

Meloman
Joke #36138 —  
 
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Grandpa Lou saved from desecration Asians sculpture work Opekushin, originally destined for installation in Pushkin (former Passion) area instead of a monument to the author Moo-Moo, beneficial exchanged for Her Forty-marble bust of the founder of Marxism. Rkacitelli expressed in terms: it would be better for the same grandmother carve a bronze Katya in nature and place next to Peter.
Joke #36137 —  
 
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Practice in the janitor, boxer Nikolai left for Germany to beat the fascists.

FBI (Boxing Federation of Russia)
Joke #36136 —  
 
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Did you know that the cartoon "Ice Age", shown on Christmas for 1-th channel, was nothing more than a warning meteorologists!
Joke #36135 —  
 
0
 
Global warming will begin next week and will continue until about August. If the United States will join in the Kyoto Protocol, since September you can expect a decline in temperature.
Joke #36134 —  
 
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On the anatomy lesson, the teacher explains what the spine. After graduating, she says: - So, Peter, explain to me what exactly is the spine? He raised his eyes to the ceiling and a little pensive, answers: - This is such a thing, which runs along the body behind, at the upper end it is the head, and at the lower end you sit.
Joke #36133 —  
 
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Dali neighboring department intern. I hear the staff talking in: - Rozsa swollen all the time ... Eyes red ... At work, sleep ... - Drinks, or what? - Maybe kveyker just ...
Joke #36132 —  
 
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Ivan Tsarevich came from the swamps and brings pimply toad with an arrow in the mouth. Drank vodka with grief, MCSD kosyachok, ba - a toad like anything, even very nice. Princess frog was. That's how drunk Ivan Tsarevich.
Joke #36131 —  
 
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Politically correct blindness: almost all are different colors - pink, blue, green, black, yellow, red ... In white ...
Joke #36130 —  
 
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For those who do not know - in our country there was only one trouble. Because the trouble with the roads defined as early as 1941, when Brigadier General III Reich, Erich von Manstein said: "In this country, no roads, This country has only direction.
Joke #36129 —  
 
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Complains one Jew to another: - These Russian go in all the warm places - fireman, steel-maker, turner baker. And left us cold kiosks.
Joke #36128 —  
 
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Well, why the country's most beautiful zhenschni must necessarily produce ugliest legkovushki? Strangemagic
Joke #36127 —  
 
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A programmer at a gas station: - Tell me, you have 2000's of petrol there?
Joke #36126 —  
 
0
 
How are the intellectuals of the intellectuals? Intellectuals easy to say these words, what intellectuals do not allow themselves to even think.
Joke #36124 —  
 
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"Shit in the hole." Report from the baptismal bath city officials Administration ...
Joke #36123 —  
 
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Police captain scolds his subordinates: - Ivanov, for six months you have not uncovered a single case! Why? - But why, I opened and even turned over!
Joke #36122 —  
 
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Past the post of GAI zigzag sweeping machine. Naturally, the violator retard. The machine stops, there comes a very drunk lady lean on my car, spits on the road chocolate kofetku and appeals to the traffic cops: - Ik ... imagine .... caught with liquor!
Joke #36121 —  
 
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- Watson, what do you smoke? Give me guess - Tobacco Queen Virginia with leaves of cherry, the anniversary of the release in a velvet box? - Amazing, Holmes! How did you guess? - Really, my dear Watson! Well, not Mrs. Hudson is spizdila from my room last packet!
Joke #36120 —  
 
0
 
Amoral fixer Borisych from the village of Jean sleeps with battery Heat.

Anonymous
Joke #36119 —  
 
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