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If a cow fed cocoa and a milking machine to connect moonshine, then the cow will give "Bailey".
Joke #37053 —  
 
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Father at home with friends playing poker. There is formed a decent bank, the betting round. At this moment father runs a four-year old son and looks at cards: - Oh, Dad, and four aces is good? The father through his teeth: - Yes! son ... All at once go to the pass, Dad rowing banchische. Son: - Too bad, Dad, that you did not have them ......
Joke #37052 —  
 
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Comrade hashish, I have a problem. My grandmother came from the village, you would I could not let go an hour early?
Joke #37051 —  
 
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- Came a man and asserts that he is your close relative and can prove it. - This is probably a complete idiot. - Of course. But he seems to have other evidence.
Joke #37050 —  
 
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- What could be more beautiful women? - Her friend.
Joke #37049 —  
 
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Two girls walking on the street. Around flies poplar fluff. One, waving: - Ira, do so from this very poplar fuzz grow such large and beautiful trees? - Tanya, you, of course, forgive me! You saw the sperm? And you might think that of a rise so beautiful as I?
Joke #37048 —  
 
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A new employee came into the office on the first day of work. After Half an hour is coming to one of the older workers, and says: - Listen, I do not know anyone here. Can you help? - Yes, of course. What you need? - Who can I talk about wage increases?
Joke #37047 —  
 
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- Dad, why roosters cry so early? - That they can be heard. Then, when they wake up the chickens, it will longer possible.
Joke #37046 —  
 
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- What is the difference between "more" and "faster"? - Basic. Rather - is "Let's hurry, Santa Barbara begins" and faster - a "hell with it, a Santa Barbara, come on faster, more faster ... "
Joke #37045 —  
 
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In showroom WHA: - Pap, Bibik! - Do not touch kaku!
Joke #37044 —  
 
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- Dad, what is the most simple in life? - The most simple - it is to believe in themselves. - And what is the most difficult? - The hardest part - do not be deceived.
Joke #37043 —  
 
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Do you think hell - is to be billionaire oligarchs and thus knock together boxes in a Siberian prison? No, hell - this is to be head of the colony and not be able Slupi a couple of lemons with this billionaire oligarchs. http://www.angelfire.com/my/migrations/doska.html
Joke #37042 —  
 
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- Why did you have in store mouse peregryzlis whole cheese, and not even a single mousetrap? - Most mice will pay for cheese, as our host for the trap.
Joke #37041 —  
 
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Aphorism - a story in two or three words of five or six years of life. (c) Sj
Joke #37040 —  
 
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Culture News: Yesterday did not become well-known writer Sukhovo-Zherebtsova II reported news agencies, he died tragically in an attempt to bridge the gap between their creativity and creativity of Leo Tolstoy.
Joke #37039 —  
 
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Alla Pugacheva many months did not appear in public. Finally, she again enters the scene, and her being taken from the six-month baby carriage.

- God, Pugacheva, Galkin! .. Can a wheelchair heir Galkina? - Well, I'd rather assumed that there is a new husband of Alla ...
Joke #37038 —  
 
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If before each election to the Duma life of Russia's army cut in half, then in five years, "grandfather" would be anyone who served the motherland at least two weeks. True scoff greenhorns, he can not, because a week later will be forced to go into stock ...

And after five years service in the Armed Forces will take the place zhiteltva. Military commissars will go home and give recruits brochure "Harsh weekdays Russia soldier," etc. After reading a brochure will immediately go to the reserve.
Joke #37037 —  
 
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Third time will not. Be the second GKChP.
Joke #37036 —  
 
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2008 Press Conference of President of Russia Vladimir Putin. Cry from the audience: - You have repeatedly said they would not stand for a third term! Why did it lie?! - I do not cheat, I do not stand for a third term - I remained forever.
Joke #37035 —  
 
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S. Mikhalkov released a remake of the hymn of Russia, adding text should words, including key phrases: "Mr. Putin's party - the People's Power", "She drowned, "and" waste in the toilet. "According to N. Mikhalkov - all creative intellectuals strongly supported the new wording of the text.
Joke #37034 —  
 
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Ministry of Health warns: Putinka even in large doses can cause nausea. SES
Joke #37033 —  
 
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On-line instruction: Before you box, type in his username. If you do not have a login, or not window, enter you know what, you know where.
Joke #37032 —  
 
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Holland, 2050, the first year. There are young and old fag. Young: - Is it true when you yourself were young, did you see women? Old: - True. Young: - Tell me what they are! Old: - Well how do you explain? .. In general, as we have, only instead of dick -- second ass, and eggs - a huge and chest!
Joke #37031 —  
 
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They come with a peasant woman from the zoo by cells from rabbits. Baba says: - Look, see how they fuck! And you, damn ...!!! The next day the guy caught a golden fish and requests: - Make it so I was like a rabbit! ... And then he began to guzzle one hezat carrots and peas.
Joke #37030 —  
 
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- So, the testimony of the plaintiff heard. And now the word is passed to the defendant. - Dear Judge, I have now with them not a lot of evidence ... But, If you do not mind non-cash settlement ...
Joke #37029 —  
 
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You really do not look if it is visible in a distorting mirror.
Joke #37028 —  
 
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- And we treat you will be in vain! - To be exact? - Turpentine!
Joke #37027 —  
 
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Strong tradition in Russia: By the New and Old New Year is now added to the New and Old November holidays ...
Joke #37026 —  
 
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- Well, how are things going with Grishka? - Oh, everything is fine, very small differences, however, there are. - What? - Yes, I want our wedding to be a long, white dress. - Well, is he? - And he - does not want to marry.
Joke #37025 —  
 
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Talk two blondes: - Yes you, Masha, read or considered not know how! - Why can not it? I have a math "E" was!
Joke #37024 —  
 
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- How do you think, what anecdote
Joke #37023 —  
 
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The old convict tells neighbors bunk:
- I was sitting under Khrushchev, I was sitting under Brezhnev! This clown Gorbachev
I really did not sit ... But as I sat under Putin!
- Dad, you have that criminal authority?
- What do you mean, these criminal leaders long ago in the government.
I just compose anecdote
Joke #37022 —  
 
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Romantics saw a woman a bouquet, cynics - panicle.
Joke #37021 —  
 
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- Everything is already tired from doing nothing! She took this endless booze, stupid
Flirt, useless conversations and constant drowsiness ... Finally
tomorrow back to work.
- What holiday is over?
- No, it begins!
Joke #37020 —  
 
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What is being done, is done in China.
Joke #37019 —  
 
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Democracy in an Arab country - is such stupidity, think that
can only Americans.
Joke #37018 —  
 
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My husband called from komandiroki wife early in the morning.
That is clearly at a loss. Husband in neponyatkah, what's wrong?
- You see, my dear, I got up with the wrong foot.
Husband:
- I understand, when I was at home, you get up from my feet, but now with someone?
Joke #37017 —  
 
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The ratio of people to the leaders and their monuments the most honest expression pigeons.
Joke #37016 —  
 
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- Prisoner Khodorkovsky! You will be denied parole
in
connection with the violation of the colony.
- I object! I have not violated the regime of the colony!
- So we write: "objected to the administration of the colony ..."
Joke #37015 —  
 
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Chelyabinsk gay is so severe that they sleep with women and do not enjoy
cosmetics.
Andrew (c)
Joke #37014 —  
 
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- A football referee somehow got in the jury of the Tchaikovsky.
So at the first moment he removed his members for playing with his hands.
Joke #37013 —  
 
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Internet solved the problem of loneliness - now any moral monster can
find themselves in the same sides.
Joke #37012 —  
 
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He met a peasant with a woman, once in bed. Fuck well lie
smoke. Gossip, the conversation turned to safe sex.
Baba said that in life there were very many men, has always been
careful, never sick, not soar, and not an abortion ...
The man is well and looking at the ceiling thoughtfully says:
- A couple of times I have an abortion ....
- ??!!!
- I am a gynecologist.
Andrew (c)
Joke #37011 —  
 
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Chartered psychologist as a child lived in the same house with the school, but always late
the first lesson, as well as to travel through the outskirts of the city.
Joke #37010 —  
 
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- Our governor - a great patriot, and he was always saying razdrazhala
about roads and fools in Russia. So he decided to personally refute it.

- How is that?
- He gathered up his administration and they went to the regional psychiatric hospital --
inspect and at the same time to inquire about the mental health
citizens.
- Strongly invented. So how, have put in?
- No, it did not work: go rain, played havoc with the road and the whole motorcade got stuck.
- Oh-oh, what a nuisance. And then?
- And what is even worse: they decided to go on foot - and entangled ....

http://www.angelfire.com/my/migrations/mini-dialogues.html
Joke #37009 —  
 
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Yesterday citizen Sidorova son. At that her neighbor said that
any resemblance to real persons is completely random!
Joke #37008 —  
 
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Letter to the newspaper Spid-Info:
Dear newspaper, after sex with his girlfriend, I asked her to
memory panties. She said that I was a pervert, then connected me
beaten, shoved in the anus cucumber and ran away, apparently offended by my
request. At my cries and ran to the neighbors freed me. Tell
I really freak if I like lingerie?
Sergey D. 19 years.
Andrew (c)
Joke #37007 —  
 
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In bed:
- Oooh ... Aaa .. "The College has consulted at the conference - or kotius
cunnilingus listed for consensus "- finally ..
- What say?
- Well, he could not pronounce the tongue-twister. I had it to you gesture for an hour
Hide ..
Joke #37006 —  
 
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There are two friends.
- How are you?
- Yes, well, in general, only with his wife quarreled.
- This is for what reason?
- Yes, simply can not agree with it, where to spend your vacation.
- And that so?
- Yes ponimash, I'm going to Thailand. And she wants to go with me ...
Joke #37005 —  
 
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Couple playing golf. They have already reached the ninth hole, when
My wife had a heart attack. My husband took out a cell phone, talked
with someone a couple of minutes, then calmly continued the game. Wife
indignant:
- How can you play when I feel so bad?
- Do not worry, dear. I phoned the leadership of the club, and they found
cardiologist about the second hole.
- Good. Do you think he will be here a long time to travel?
- Not really. All agreed that it could play out of turn.
Joke #37004 —  
 
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