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Take him away someone else's wife is easy, it is impossible to return back.
Women marry for one purpose only to find himself in the life
support and put it under his heel.
Valuev, is the grandson Michurin! With ease he will make any turnips
- I wonder why Putin became just three places in the list of "United Russia"?
- Very simple. Putin becomes prime minister number two, number one --
- And the third?
- A third will leave as promised.
Died Pope. Will the conclave to elect a new pope. Before
very beginning of a journalist conducts interviews with the influential cardinal.
- How do you think who the best chance to become the new pope?
- I do not know, is very difficult to predict. I will say one thing - in St. Petersburg may
Team Russia mobilized all resources before the match with England.
Why only had to catch up with the clouds and choke Moscow snow!
- By working your wife?
- Writer ...
- Oh! What say? Earn a lot?
- Writes the history of disease .. I burst into tears ...
Z. Wiest & N. Mountain
- Say lies all these ads! For example, recently talked about new
matches that burn even when hurricane winds, underwater and in the open
space. I bought, tried, and they do not burn!
- No, advertising is not lying, you just listen to them attentively. In advertising
about the match was not the word "even", and where you leave them lit?
The campaign slogan Schwarzenegger:
- For me not rust!
Vladimir Vladimirovich personal e-mail is the Kremlin
Anti-spam, filtering the claim of the people.
There is a public poll.
- Grandpa, you decided for whom to vote for you?
- Oh, granddaughters, but not back to the moth, stagnation and the CPSU. We've had enough
this outrage - partocracy.
- So you mean for United Russia? "
- No. For the Communists!
Putin is the third time won the Kremlin Cup.
- I've heard, Putin again "hot line" with the people happy ...
- Maybe, wants to get into the Guinness Book of Records as the president
received the most questions, to which he did not have time to answer?
Bush calls Putin: Vladimir! For you in Tehran planned assassination.
Putin - Bush: Yes, nothing there.
Bush: It is strange, as the CIA reported that, yes. Well, I will clarify.
Bush - CIA Director: And Putin said that nothing planned. To
believe? You or him?
CIA director: I am. Just say to you: planned.
Naivete - is when a snail crawling along the rails, feeling
approaching train, hiding in his shell.
- What's your claim to the neighbors?
- Yes very much they have oral sex, sleep, do not give!
If you're an incorrigible womanizer, then, choosing a wife, choose the one
easier to hang noodles on the ears.
Announcement. Husband for an hour: fix iron, hang a curtain, to embed the castle
put Fingal, propyl pay, sex with a neighbor.
Manager - a person who is easy to sell you something that nothing
costs and unnecessary.
- Dad, what is the meaning of life?
- Everything in life has meaning, except looking for the meaning of life.
With applied mathematicians conducted a study on the role of the numbers Pi and E
semantics of the Russian language. It turned out that many words they play
key role. In this case the replacement of one number by another fundamentally changes
the whole point: El - Peel, rode - shoved, Horseback - Pi ... etc. Unfortunately
study was not carried through. Financing of the project suddenly
dried up after the scientists decided to change these numbers in the sign
Pinocchio went on a smoke break, but soon returned.
- What, cigarettes forgotten? ..
- No, the fire extinguisher.
- Uncle, can I have your TV repaired?
- Not a boy ... Plunger and put into place.
"Tonight on our stage play" Dinner with a fool. "Participates
whole troupe of the theater. For table reservations, call 123 4567.
- And you listen, sho in Dnepropetrovsk house vzorvavsya?
- Tse Muscovites vynuvaty.
- And what's pry Muscovites?
- So Muscovites Well gas postavlyayut.
Noisy party in full swing. The middle of the room, face down on the table, lies
He raises his head and loudly said: "In the corner all - cocksucker!".
For a moment all fall silent, but you never know what lyapnet drunk? - Fun
A man raises his head again and said loudly: "And in the corner - all
All fall silent - I think it's too much.
In the tense silence of the grave stands bully and ... moves from one
corner to another.
- Hello, this background?
- Wait, I'll find out.
Based solely on the logic of mass tourism in the village Women's Small
pisyulki "because it was for her, since there are small, somewhere near Required
be s "Big pisyulki.
- Bychkov, you're fired!
- I do not Bychkov, I Bykov.
- What a difference! At this place we need Bronstein.
- Dad, what distinguishes the mind and trick?
- The mind can solve complex problems, and cunning allows them
- And that useful?
- Useful all - intelligence. It allows you to choose what is better: to decide
circumvent, or not to meddle in other people's business.
Russia - country macroresources and nanopensy.
Goes Russian racer F1. Outperforms all three terms. To finish completely
bit and ... Traffic cop rushes out and shouts: "A-ha, over!"
A guy calls in the House 2:
- A team of your project is not going to rest on the sea, swim,
dive to a depth?
- And why do you ask?
- I am now in the army, on a patrol boat serve, we have to adopt
only the depth charges.
The new version of the old saying: as a ballerina on ice.
According to preliminary findings of Ukrainian special services, gas, exploded in
Dnepropetrovsk, was from Russia.
1. Male carrion.
2. A place where live bitches (similar to the chicken coop).
Sit two zek behind bars ..
- You put what?
- Yes to work an hour late ....
- And whom did you work?
- Air traffic controller.
-= VobyD =-
After the advertising slogan toothpaste Blend-a-med "purely as a
dentist, preparing to release new: uretalny catheter "wrote as
urologist, hemorrhoidal candles, cocoa, the proctologist, and artificial
joint "limp as a podiatrist.
- Lord, grant me survive my enemies!
- Well, experiencing ... Year on three ...
So let's drink to the health of our enemies!
- Listen, I also starred in the movie!
- No, no - I was there a good play!
Walked once Ksenia Sobchak in the zoo, and suddenly broke away from a rescue
hungry crocodile and attacked Ksyusha. But when he saw her, I realized
that is not so he is hungry. And when good look better, I realized
that is not so he and a crocodile.
Son asks Rabinovich:
- Dad, what proletarian internationalism?
- I'm not sure, but to go.
- You know how to Photoshop?
- Not only Koreldrochit.
To kill the smell of stale socks, the ISS crew will grow up in orbit
harvest of peas.
Hello, class. I am your new teacher of astronomy. I see the class you
large, all still do not remember. Therefore, all the boys I
call: Hey, you. And girls - Zina.
A woman nearly helpless, until it dried out nails.
Stirlitz went to the zoo and was fed by hand. Sruki grunted from
Warning on Russia's market on Friday released a new novelty:
Orbit-Citramon. Projected marketers, sales will peak in the morning
Mushrooms - they are different. One you feed them, the other - movie will ...