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Putin perplexed:
"I do not understand why people are so against the" monetization "to protest?
I, personally, with the deputies of the Duma counting our benefits - such as decent
get paid ... "
Joke #37671 —  
 
0
 
Israeli Ambassador Mr. Lukashenko said that his proposal to the Jews to move to
Bobruisk insulting to Jewish people, as compared
Jews to animals.
Joke #37670 —  
 
0
 
"I am against cutting presidential powers," he said at a recent "direct
Line Vladimir Putin. I went to negotiate with the prime minister of Israel.
Joke #37669 —  
 
0
 
Young man hopelessly in love. He suffers because it is his
dislikes.
He sits on the banks of the river and turns to God, and God suddenly he heard.
- That sadness, my son?
- And here .... I love my Nastenka. Suffer. And she looks at me zero attention.
And I have no life for me without her. Drown come.
- What help you my son?
- Make me a little prettier. Can I do it more like me?
- Good. Ask.
- Make me a nose like Aristotle, and then a pug and not beautiful.

- Good. Done.
- And the lips more plump, his chin slightly pomuzhestvenney. She loves this.
- Done.
- Taller. I want to be tall, slim. She likes those.
- Done.
- And more muscle everywhere. As if I was an athlete. Nastya will be delighted.
- Done.
- A wheelbarrow can I donate? Porsche 999. Her favorite car.
- Good. What else?
- Well ... (faltered). Mozgov to me a little more. Crosswords be together
solve.
- The brain is good. Done.
The guy looked at myself from all sides, and looked at the barrow with a cry Hey!
ran to the car.
God:
- Wait. Where are you, my son? She's still at work.
- Who? Nastka? Yes, she tries I gave up. Surely I am with a wheelbarrow and body
a normal woman can not find?
- Ah ... (sigh God) ... I had just started him with a brain.
Joke #37668 —  
 
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It is impossible not to love a woman who thinks you're a genius.
Joke #37667 —  
 
0
 
The student sends a telegram home to Mama: "flunk. Prepare
dad.
A day later receives the answer: "Dad has been prepared. Prepare to myself!"
Joke #37666 —  
 
0
 
Judging by the number of rescued people, in the seventh Harry Potter
will play Bruce Willis.
Joke #37664 —  
 
0
 
Typical scenario gypsy film:
"The first scene: a night in a gypsy camp. Sounds Gypsy
music. The whole camp is celebrating a successful sale of one-eyed mare. Only
Roma Gregory sad sitting in a corner, on a stump ... A and x .. him!
Sounds Gypsy music ... "
Joke #37663 —  
 
0
 
Company Nissan vypustilaya new model "female" car --
Nissan "Strings". At traffic lights cut into the asshole.
Joke #37662 —  
 
0
 
On the streets are mother her son eight years old. Patsanenok something Requests
konyuchit and aching. Mom is tired of all:
- Sergei, you know what? You go ...
- I know, Mom, what the fuck! My dad said ...
Joke #37661 —  
 
0
 
What is common between VINDOUZ and the Young Communist League?
- Outside, a beautiful, useful and necessary organization, and within a dull,
depressing and deprived of their freedom of action system!
Joke #37660 —  
 
0
 
Awkward to sleep on the ceiling? This is for you, he - the ceiling. A neighbor to the top
- Sex. He is a convenient ...
Joke #37659 —  
 
0
 
Homeland must love so that it then do not feel sick.
(c) Sj
Joke #37658 —  
 
0
 
Ilya of Murom pay taxes and quietly slept on the stove for 33 years.
Joke #37657 —  
 
0
 
I'm already looking at the vodka I can not! I drink with my eyes closed!
Joke #37656 —  
 
0
 
Chinese cars have over any other one purely Chinese
advantage - they multiply rapidly.
Joke #37655 —  
 
0
 
There comes a young man in a well-known political party and said:
- I want to be your active member!
In response:
- It is better to become passive in our ass!
Joke #37654 —  
 
0
 
Uninteresting to watch, when two Negroes in boxing fight.
No matter who wins ...
Joke #37653 —  
 
0
 
We veterinarian:
- Doctor, here, my cat suddenly began to speak human language ...
- But I am here, perhaps, I can not help you. Try contacting the
psychiatrist.
Psychiatrist:
- Doctor, here, my cat suddenly began to speak human language ...
- But I am here, perhaps, I can not help you. Try contacting the
vet.
Joke #37652 —  
 
0
 
Interestingly, and what constitutes the economy of any state? After all, when
it bursts, all citizens of this country are in g @ out ...
Joke #37651 —  
 
0
 
Question on the Internet for direct communication with the GDP
I live in Germany, I want to move to permanent residence in Russia.
How do I use the program of resettlement of compatriots?
Where do I go?
Answer: a psychiatrist.
Joke #37650 —  
 
0
 
A cautious man would not hurt a fly, suddenly out of it will make an elephant.
Joke #37649 —  
 
0
 
Again, I was convinced of the genius of GDP. No matter how I communicate with neighbors
to give and classmates, well, I did not see them ministers.
Joke #37648 —  
 
0
 
Each party participating in elections to the Duma, should be
"The top three candidates."
At United Russia's top three are:
1. Putin
2. Vladimir
3. V.
Joke #37647 —  
 
0
 
Burglaries in court.
Judge:
- The accused, explain to the court why you are broken into the safe, took from it
only money, not jewelry?
- Your Honor, you are talking just like my wife ...
Joke #37646 —  
 
0
 
Identify Muscovite in St. Petersburg is easy ...

Moskvich runs on the escalator up, genuinely outraged that someone
enough nerve to stand on them (by the way, the perturbation of
extrapolated and standing on the right).

Moskvich calls Vasilevsky Island "bored-square", and getting lost
in yards onogo genuinely outraged that there is not hanging plates.

Moskvich believes that the St Petersburg turnstiles in the subway unbearable (to
do not know how to play Polonaise Oginskiy!).

Moskvich believes that the St Petersburg buses without turnstiles are harmful and
badly affect the morale of citizens, allowing them to drive hares.

Moskvich always in a hurry.

Having reached the destination for half an hour before the desired and wiping jet
boiling sweat, he angrily called Russia a "small port
town.

Moskvich constantly drops the tokens.

Moskvich can not tolerate the closed subway station, because he
principally from the top of the escalator to see, not whether the train rides,
because he is always in a hurry.

Moskvich call porebrik border even if it is threatened with ostracism.
Because he is not corrupted by the St Petersburg besturniketnymi buses and
understand that the principles are not coming.

Moskvich always cold and damp. If he was warm and dry, it would still
cold and damp, because Peter.

Moskvich writes off the St Petersburg low prices that "lousy
intellectuals still did not earn a can.

And, most importantly, he is too serious about a joke!

Author: alphyna.livejournal.com
Joke #37645 —  
 
0
 
If you sweeten the pill, the medication she had not.
Joke #37644 —  
 
0
 
The phrase from the meeting:
I think it was totally inappropriate to welcome Commercial
Director of the respected German company with the words "Denisych, fucking carp!"
Joke #37643 —  
 
0
 
During dinner, the wife complains to her husband:
- Imagine, Ivan Petrovich is misogynist, said that
Women's place exclusively at the stove.
Male, lonely tinkering with a fork in a plate with obscure color and odor
food, livened up:
- Expensive, but you take revenge on him - has invited us to dinner.
Joke #37642 —  
 
0
 
Geniuses are different from those talents are and what may have inspired
even during a hangover.
Joke #37641 —  
 
0
 
"A good man in a frog will not turn!" - Said Ivan Durak,
selected boom and cursing obscenities walked the second attempt.
(c) izhstyle.livejournal.com
Joke #37640 —  
 
0
 
In order not to feel heaviness in the stomach, have time to take on his chest.
Joke #37639 —  
 
0
 
- And what have you for a hole??
- It's not a hole, it is a functional hole.
- Features ... what??
Joke #37638 —  
 
0
 
The company "Monolith". Rent house turnkey. Price from 500 thousand. f. Under the key with
trinkets - 550 thousand from. e.
Joke #37637 —  
 
0
 
Guys after the requirements wives "May 12 was at home, as the bayonet!" usually
remember the key words "12 ... at home", while his wife makes the stress
the words "... as the bayonet!"
Joke #37636 —  
 
0
 
Petya now half session in the film groping under her skirt Valya. She
finally moaned: "I hope your wristwatch, waterproof!

Veland88
Joke #37635 —  
 
0
 
- What is the brain drain?
- In some cases, it is cold.
Veland88
Joke #37634 —  
 
0
 
We do not sell cigarettes to persons under 18 years. It's the law. Take so
girl. This is a gift.
Veland88
Joke #37633 —  
 
0
 
Student - the only creature who can be in two
places in the same time: at the session and in full 9.8 clone.
www.macroworld.ucoz.ru
Joke #37632 —  
 
0
 
To understand what is evil, you must be a little angry. And to
understand what is good, we must be very angry.
Joke #37631 —  
 
0
 
Less a woman we love, so we prefer it.
So how much you dislike to like?
Joke #37630 —  
 
0
 
Blin, what a day? I ANEC and mistakenly send it on zapostil
president-line. Now that - questions preziku send to anecdote. Ru?
8 ((((
Joke #37628 —  
 
0
 
New slogans from mobile operators:
Beeline - Let them talk a lot, and pay later!
Megaphone - First let a lot of pay, and then say!
MTS - First let a lot of pay, and may never talk!
Joke #37627 —  
 
0
 
The deputies of the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine abolished the privileges and
integrity, referring to their official duties.
Joke #37626 —  
 
0
 
Failure ended another attempt to Russian scientists to create a cell
phone - they bitten by bees.
Joke #37625 —  
 
0
 
His wife was matyuklivy husband. And she says to him:
- You'd better not Swears, and said the names of colors.
He told her:
- Good.
They went to the restaurant, the waiter touched her husband, the husband turns around and
says:
- Rose, tulip here, and how zageorginyu, obserenishsya.
Joke #37624 —  
 
0
 
For the third bottle of vodka, we're flying bullet, however, has shifted from
center of gravity.
Joke #37623 —  
 
0
 
The fellow is calling a friend:
- Hey, beer took. As for beer will be? Let pistachios.
- No-e, let's do something else. Yesterday I trimmed nails.
Joke #37622 —  
 
0
 
Life as it is in fact CSKA:
white players, black players, white players, black players, and then Jo ...
Joke #37621 —  
 
0
 
If the horse tells you that you are crazy, the way it is.
Unless, of course you are not talking Ksenia Sobchak.
Veland88
Joke #37620 —  
 
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