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If you are familiar with more than one rhyme to the word "star" - you're a real poet!
- Dad, when I grow up, then going to the famous singer!
- Knock on wood.
- Or better I will become an artist ...
- Knock on wood.
- No, I'll be a great writer!
- Knock on wood.
- Well, why should I always knock on wood!
- Because we're with you - hereditary woodpeckers.
Why from the fall of Adam has been more than 6,000 years, and the Last
Court still no?
The greater the artist, the longer he pauses.
- My grandfather was the war. From Moscow to Berlin. Hitler no less than three
once a year, that's how you saw.
September 12 at Foggy Albion meet England national football team and
Russia national under-damaging sentiment.
What could be worse news on the channel, the characters in the House-2 and
Petrossian? Only the characters of House-2, retold jokes Petrosian in
News on First.
- Mr President! You offered the program until 2030, relying
the experience of Moses, vodivshego forty years the people of Israel in the desert.
But we do not desert?
- Everything has its time.
- Listen, why Putin Russia is divided into seven districts, but not six
- And you as a child reading a fairy tale "The Wolf and the Seven Young Kids?
- Well, he was reading.
"And yet, what is the meaning of life?" - Thought sperm, moving to
What is the difference between KNOW and be sure?
Up to five years, the boy knows that "pisya" to pisyat,
after sixty man sure of it.
Russia - rich country, in which the ratio of poor people to the number
rich equals the number of poor people.
And on an uneven surface nice advance, especially if it's legs
man in a crowded public transport.
You have no voice, no ties, clumsy, not stage appearance?
Come to us! We need street cleaners, floor polishers and stokers!
In Word, the peasants like most "Paste".
"After receiving this letter, send to the addresses indicated on the three
unused condom. In the end, specify your email address. Four
month you will receive by mail 24 560 condoms! This game allowed
get rid of AIDS in Angola, the Netherlands and about. Borneo. Good luck to you! "
- Dad, because witches do not exist?
Father, looking at the wife's mother:
- When I was little, too, thought so.
The girl tells a guy:
- I lost innocence.
In order to deal with stray dogs in Moscow decided to bring in a trial
The blonde actress, asked:
- Do you like when you shoot at the camera?
- Well, look how many people in the chamber ...
One friend tells another:
- Listen, you is long overdue to get married. I have for you is fine
girl. Nice, clean, hard-working, honest. Has its
case. She has no flaws ... Just want to warn you,
is a little bit pregnant ...
The doctor - a man who can turn the mild disease in heavy
Sore throat? - Drink creature poison! ...
Pah! Drink herbal teas!
Interview with Bill Gates.
- I developed an absolute, one hundred percent effective tool against
Spam and laid it on your site for free download.
- Are you sure that it is one hundred percent?
- Of course! After a few days on my box it's 26175095
letters from grateful users!
Rowing: 8 rowers and 1 helmsman.
Canoeing Russian: 1 steering oar and 8.
It was winter. Stirlitz waited connected from the center. Came connected. He was dressed
as a German officer, and looked perfectly.
- You lit up, Major Kuznetsov! Holster on the belt should
located on two centimeters to the left!
It was spring. Stirlitz waited connected from the center. The liaison officer came to ski and
was dressed in a kimono. Stirlitz:
- You lit up, Lt. Col. Putin! In order for you no one paid
attention, the watch is worn on the left hand, but not on the right!
Putin said at a press conference said that in 2008 the country will
manage a different person. A Putin aide added that
unanimous opinion of the West, eight years of his presidency,
Vladimir became a different person.
Comedie Club is closed! Petrosian learned to speak the word "Ass".
After the lessons of history revealed that in our class are not all equally
refer to Suvorov. Thus, Natalia A bullet can not stand him, but
Serega Bayonet just loves it.
- A girl and how old are you?
- And you know what to ask the woman about her age impolite?
- A sit down for sex with minors, according to you, politely be?
A guy calls a friend at the cottage, the phone takes a wife:
- Mash, writing to Andrew ...
- Go to the illustrations, Vasya - I married him for 15 years, you're going to
indicate - to give Andrew or not.
In the department that sells quilts.
- Girl, you men have blankets?
- And that, it should be a hole?
New life of old jokes.
Basmanny court. The judge, losing patience:
- Answer only "yes" or "no"! We do not need your speculation.
- But not for everyone the same question can be answered "yes" or "no"!
- For each!
- Well, then, say: you have already stopped kicking prisoners
The judge, shrugging his shoulders:
- No ...
- Shrek! Where do you usually have dinner?
- In McDonalds, Theon!
- It can not be Shrek! You're usually eat swamp rot, rotten frogs,
- So why I dine at McDonald's!
Its jets invisible best in the world!
And as the tanks invisible, invisible ships, missiles, stealth and all
Are two blondes. They talk about all sorts of politicians, presidents.
And then another one says:
- And in America know what the president?
- No, but what?
- Well, you at least give a hint or something!
- Okay, listen - three letters in the middle of the U.
- Che, though, is it?
Conversation in the club:
- Come on, I want you to fuck something with someone.
Come and see the doctor the patient. Submits a hospital card and asked:
- Doctor, but I'll survive?
Dr. leafing through a hospital card and says:
- Of course ...
- Perhaps ... perhaps ... hardly ...
Ticket to a football match - 280 rubles.
Cast - 150 rubles.
Seeing as 40,000 of the happiest in the world, singing, jumping and
Spartak fans cheering in a second fall silent and become
most unfortunate - priceless.
A guy walks into a pharmacy and says:
- I need a condom!
- Kohl, you!
Providing good weather on the City Day, Mayor Luzhkov slightly overdone
and dispersed not only clouds but also the stars and the moon ....
(c) MoonWolf, 2007
Died Gorbachev. I decided to put in a mausoleum next to Lenin.
They put in a sarcophagus, pushed into ... The next morning came the guard
change, looking - and the coffin with Gorbachev in Red Square stands.
Pushed back. The next day the same story. What?
Detachment to the mausoleum of the team of scientists, specialists in paranormal phenomena.
They sat down in an ambush at the mausoleum in the evening.
And at night they hear - skirmish inside. And a guttural voice:
- You, my friend, by 2000 each family a separate apartment promised
here and pi ** uyte here, here you do not communal!
Dima Bilan was in the zone.
- Who are you in life? - Asked thieves.
- Rooster will be able to portray?
- I do not know, do not try.
- Nothing, pudding. We shall teach.
Duma Elections 2007:
vote in secret, but the fingerprints did not take the law forbids.
- Hello! FSB?
- You are asked to report suspicious people to transport. I'm going to
46-m route bus and then two suspicious people. One seized
control bus, the other collects the money from the passengers.
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, for nanotechnology we are lagging behind the developed countries
world nearly 50 years.
- Nothing. Catch up.
- Catch up, of course. But the problem is that nanotechnology is only 20 years old.
In Russia not so bad die as you do not want to live.
Russian people as a nation will never be lost, because good
times he does not care, but still bad anyway.
If there is no freedom of speech, why do I hear about it from morning till
- What will the Russian when he first landed on Mars?
- Check the registration with the local Chinese!
(c) MoonWolf, 2007
- You bastard! You're always giving me promises that will never be able
perform, and how can I call you then?
- Call me a populist ...